Over at Project Q Atlanta, the old canard “Bi Men Aren’t Real” has reared its head again. I’m not going to waste any time telling you (many of whom are bisexual men) why it’s false, (see the comments via the link for that) but I do want to look at something else.
I emailed the editor and said, hey c’mon now are you an LGBT organisation or not? Why is someone on your staff saying we don’t exist?
I got back no defence of the position (which was the argument I was expecting) and no “Oh, sorry – no-one checked it before it went out” (which was my fondest hope) but instead was told that
- the columnist often writes things that provoke comments, which is good
- the comments from bi people are sufficient to show other readers that some people disagree with the columnist’s views,
- the existence of those comments is enough balance.
I’m shocked that the existence of bisexuality is still something it’s okay for an LGBT organisation to agree to disagree on. The idea that “all bi men are liars” is an opinion that someone touted as an advice columnist in the LGBT press can hold, and it’s okay because others disagree! If you’re an LGBT organisation, your policy (nevermind your opinion) should be that bi people exist!
Hello! My existence isn’t a matter of your opinion! And telling an entire subcategory of your community they’re liars isn’t something balanced by waiting for them to disagree with you. To do so would involve coming out, for starters. And who wants to do that when to say “I am a bisexual man” is to be branded a liar?
Bigotry doesn’t provoke debate, it stifles honesty. It promotes the exact climate that keeps us from debating, and keeps the topic hateful.
(Interesting to note, it’s not the bi guy writing in, it’s a gay friend who “only sees him in gay bars”. I wonder how many non-gay bars that friends goes too, but I’m still sad that people feel we need to prove our bisexuality)
