bisexual and never been with someone my own gender
You are not alone, O searcher of the internets! (Though you’d do better searching The Bisexual Index than my blog; which explicitly mentions this issue, as well as many many others.)
Take heart; being bi doesn’t have these kinds of hurdles to clear — while I too once wondered whether I was “bi enough” to “count” as bisexual, as I like to say now, it’s not a fairground ride sign with a line on it, saying “you have to be at least this queer.” Bi events don’t have a guy and a girl (or people of any other genders) standing either side of the door demanding you snog them both before you’re allowed to enter.
At least, not the ones I’ve been to!
While people who haven’t yet had a date or a shag or anything are believed if they say they’re gay, and if they don’t everyone assumes they’re straight, somehow with bisexuality there is a lot of pressure — both internal and external — to “prove” it, that you can’t really know until you’ve “tried both” (or more than one at least) genders.
I think this is especially true for people who come at bisexuality from a straight identity (maybe just because that’s what I did!). When you’ve been trundling along fitting more or less into society’s expectations of what your partners should be like, it’s a little intimidating to think that might not be all there is to your attractions. But how do you go about finding out? The bars or clubs you go to and the groups or circles of friends you’re a part of probably don’t give you a ton of exposure to contexts where you can act on that same-gender attraction…or if you go to gay clubs, they may not like your “straight”-seeming history.
Plus you could be, like me, a fancier of girls who’s still utterly rubbish at pulling them. This is a non-trivial concern: all the attraction in the world doesn’t get you anywhere without someone reciprocating!
how to tell if a bisexual man fanceys you
The same way you can tell if anyone else fancies you, I suppose: ask them? look for subtle clues? spy on their social media updates? quiz their friends? be nice, look interested and see what happens?
Being bisexual doesn’t change the rules of stuff like this. We don’t have a secret signal or anything. (Or if there is one, no one’s told me about it! And I’m a card-carrying bisexual and everything! Man, it’d be awesome if there was a secret signal. I’m what we call flirt-blind. But anyway, I digress!)
This blog supports the radical notion that bis are people too, so the rules you’re used to probably apply to us too. Probably. Some of us are contrary just for the sake of it. But we still want to know if you fancy us.
do bi people get married
Yes! Bi people do get married. I’m a married bi person.
Some can’t marry the people they’d like to, because of marriage inequality, but some of those would like to get married…and some wouldn’t. Same as any other kind of people.
wat does council wombat feel in the story
I have no idea what this means. I just think it has a lovely dadaist quality to it somehow.
