{"id":153,"date":"2012-05-13T22:29:37","date_gmt":"2012-05-13T22:29:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bisexualwombat.wordpress.com\/?p=90"},"modified":"2012-05-13T22:29:37","modified_gmt":"2012-05-13T22:29:37","slug":"response-to-google-searches","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/2012\/05\/response-to-google-searches\/","title":{"rendered":"Response to google searches"},"content":{"rendered":"

bisexual and never been with someone my own gender<\/strong><\/p>\n

You are not alone, O searcher of the internets! (Though you’d do better searching The Bisexual Index than my blog; which explicitly mentions this issue<\/a>, as well as many many others.)<\/p>\n

Take heart; being bi doesn’t have these kinds of hurdles to clear — while I too once wondered whether I was “bi enough” to “count” as bisexual, as I like to say now, it’s not a fairground ride sign with a line on it, saying “you have to be at least this queer.”\u00a0 Bi events don’t have a guy and a girl (or people of any other genders) standing either side of the door demanding you snog them both before you’re allowed to enter.<\/p>\n

At least, not the ones I’ve <\/em>been to!<\/p>\n

While people who haven’t yet had a date or a shag or anything are believed if they say they’re gay, and if they don’t everyone assumes they’re straight, somehow with bisexuality there is a lot of pressure — both internal and external — to “prove” it, that you can’t really know until you’ve “tried both” (or more than one at least) genders.<\/p>\n

I think this is especially true for people who come at bisexuality from a straight identity (maybe just because that’s what I did!).\u00a0 When you’ve been trundling along fitting more or less into society’s expectations of what your partners should be like, it’s a little intimidating to think that might not be all there is to your attractions.\u00a0 But how do you go about finding out?\u00a0 The bars or clubs you go to and the groups or circles of friends you’re a part of probably don’t give you a ton of exposure to contexts where you can act on that same-gender attraction…or if you go to gay clubs, they may not like your “straight”-seeming history.<\/p>\n

Plus you could be, like me, a fancier of girls who’s still utterly rubbish at pulling them.\u00a0 This is a non-trivial concern: all the attraction in the world doesn’t get you anywhere without someone reciprocating!<\/p>\n

how to tell if a bisexual man fanceys you<\/strong><\/p>\n

The same way you can tell if anyone else fancies you, I suppose: ask them? look for subtle clues? spy on their social media updates? quiz their friends? be nice, look interested and see what happens?<\/p>\n

Being bisexual doesn’t change the rules of stuff like this.\u00a0 We don’t have a secret signal or anything.\u00a0 (Or if there is one, no one’s told me about it!\u00a0 And I’m a card-carrying bisexual<\/a> and everything!\u00a0 Man, it’d be awesome if there was a secret signal.\u00a0 I’m what we call flirt-blind<\/a>.\u00a0 But anyway, I digress!)<\/p>\n

This blog supports the radical notion that bis are people too, so the rules you’re used to probably apply to us too.\u00a0 Probably.\u00a0 Some of us are contrary just for the sake of it.\u00a0 But we still want to know if you fancy us.<\/p>\n

do bi people get married<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yes!\u00a0 Bi people do get married. I’m a married bi person.<\/p>\n

Some can’t marry the people they’d like to, because of marriage inequality, but some of those would like to get married…and some wouldn’t.\u00a0 Same as any other kind of people.<\/p>\n

wat does council wombat feel in the story<\/strong><\/p>\n

I have no idea what this means. I just think it has a lovely dadaist quality to it somehow.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a> \"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

bisexual and never been with someone my own gender You are not alone, O searcher of the internets! (Though you’d do better searching The Bisexual Index than my blog; which explicitly mentions this issue, as well as many many others.) Take heart; being bi doesn’t have these kinds of hurdles to clear — while I […]\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":1211,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[161,131,162],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-153","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bi-enough","category-relationships","category-we-are-normal-and-want-our-freedom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1211"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}