{"id":164,"date":"2013-04-23T11:38:00","date_gmt":"2013-04-23T11:38:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/j-applebee.tumblr.com\/post\/48687445139"},"modified":"2013-04-23T11:38:00","modified_gmt":"2013-04-23T11:38:00","slug":"biphobia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/2013\/04\/biphobia\/","title":{"rendered":"Biphobia"},"content":{"rendered":"<\/p>\n

Biphobia<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

By Jacqueline Applebee<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0(Previously printed in Bisexual Community News<\/a>.\u00a0 Free to repost with author credit)<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

Some people face biphobia at work; some at their local church, mosque or pub. The irrational fear and hatred of bisexuality is not a concept for me.\u00a0 Biphobia is real.\u00a0 It stands about seven feet tall with a red, blotchy face.\u00a0 Biphobia wears a shabby black cloak. He has an evil stare.\u00a0 Biphobia makes me feel very uncomfortable sometimes.<\/p>\n

\u00a0I wake up one day to find Biphobia sitting at the bottom of my bed, smoking a cigarette.\u00a0 \u201cYou managed to sleep with a woman yet?\u201d he points to the mound beneath the covers.<\/p>\n

\u00a0My boyfriend groans, turns over and blinks at me.\u00a0 \u201cMorning, love.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0Biphobia stubs the cigarette out inches from my leg.\u00a0 \u201cNobody will take you seriously if you only sleep with men,\u201d Biphobia growls.\u00a0 \u201cFind yourself a hot lesbian, and she\u2019ll sort you out.\u00a0 <\/span>Your neighbour, Paula will do.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

As if on cue, I hear a knock at the front door.\u00a0 <\/span>I jump out of bed, pulling a long t-shirt over my head.\u00a0 Sure enough, Paula is outside holding a kitten in her arms.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cHow sweet,\u201d Biphobia drawls.\u00a0 \u201cA lesbian with a cat\u2014two for the price of one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cCan you keep Moxie for the morning?\u201d Paula asks breathlessly.\u00a0 \u201cMy mum is coming around.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cIs she allergic to cats?\u201d I ask.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cMoxie\u2019s allergic to her.\u00a0 Some people are just too straight, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0I take the mewling cat.\u00a0 \u201cNo problem, Paula.\u00a0 I\u2019m not due in until this afternoon. It will be fun to play with the little thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0Paula straightens her blouse, fingers the top button.\u00a0 \u201cI was wondering, if you\u2019ve got nothing else on, why not come over for lunch?\u201d Paula smiles at me.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve been thinking of you a lot, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0At that moment, my boyfriend comes down the stairs wearing nothing but a towel draped around his hips.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0Paula goes pale.\u00a0 \u201cOh, I see you\u2019re busy.\u201d\u00a0 She literally grabs the kitten from me.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cI can still look after Moxie,\u201d I say to her retreating back.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cI don\u2019t want her exposed to hetero-normative influences.\u00a0 She\u2019s a sensitive creature, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0Biphobia shuts the door.\u00a0 He glares at me for some time.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

The bank I work for starts an LGBT networking group.\u00a0 I don\u2019t quite believe it is real until I enter a room full of happy faces.\u00a0 Queer staff and their partners from all over the South-East have travelled to our Brighton head office to take part in the launch.\u00a0 Of course, Biphobia turns up to the event too.\u00a0 He sloshes down bottles of wine, and eats all the sausage rolls.<\/p>\n

\u00a0A senior cashier from Littlehampton corners me by the windows.\u00a0 \u201cDid you bring your girlfriend with you?\u201d she asks.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cI have a boyfriend,\u201d I respond before I can stop myself.\u00a0 \u201cHe was busy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0The cashier looks like I\u2019ve slapped her.\u00a0 \u201cThis group is vitally important for gays and lesbians.\u00a0 It\u2019s not for straights.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cI\u2019m bisexual.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m aware my voice is a whisper.\u00a0 I\u2019m aware I don\u2019t want anyone else to hear me.\u00a0 Biphobia slips an arm around my shoulder.\u00a0 I feel totally intimidated.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The cashier looks embarrassed.\u00a0 She says nothing as she turns and quickly walks away.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Arnold Rosbottom, the area manager, makes a speech.\u00a0 He is full of earnest words.\u00a0 Gays and lesbians are addressed in every single line.\u00a0 Transgender workers get a special mention toward the end.\u00a0 But he doesn\u2019t say bisexual<\/span><\/em> once.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I feel Biphobia\u2019s arms wrap around my chest.\u00a0 He squeezes me so I can barely breathe. \u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\u201cYou can end this right now,\u201d Biphobia says.\u00a0 \u201cAdmit you\u2019re really a lesbian.\u00a0 Hell, admit you\u2019re really straight, and you won\u2019t have to put up with any more of this crap.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0I feel absolutely terrified as another woman approaches me, even though she smiles as she speaks.\u00a0 \u201cA group of us girls are going to the Candy Bar<\/em> later.\u00a0 We can get away from all these horrid gay boys.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0Biphobia\u2019s hand slides up to my throat.\u00a0 \u201cSay yes,\u201d he whispers.\u00a0 \u201cJoin them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0My voice is a squeak when my mouth opens.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m bisexual.\u00a0 I don\u2019t hate men.\u201d\u00a0 Biphobia\u2019s grip on my throat slackens as I continue.\u00a0 \u201cI like people, period.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0The woman screws up her face.\u00a0 \u201cYou need to make up your mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cPreach, sister!\u201d Biphobia calls out.\u00a0 He stands beside her, but he looks somehow smaller.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cI have made up my mind,\u201d I say with a new strength in my voice.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m leaving.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to the Brighton Bothways<\/a> meet-up instead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d she asks with a scowl.\u00a0 \u201cSome fetish club?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s for social for bisexuals and their allies.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0A man standing nearby turns to me.\u00a0 \u201cA bisexual meet up?\u00a0 Can I come too?\u201d\u00a0 He tugs on another woman\u2019s sleeve.\u00a0 \u201cBetty, we\u2019re not the only ones!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0Betty\u2019s eyes light up.\u00a0 \u201cThank goodness.\u00a0 I feel invisible in this place.\u201d\u00a0 She loops her arm through mine, leads me to the door.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Arnold Rosbottom catches my eye as we all exit.\u00a0 \u201cLeaving already?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cThere\u2019s nothing here for bisexuals,\u201d I say.\u00a0 \u201cYou ought to fix that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0I spot Biphobia slide up behind Arnold.\u00a0 He is about to put his hands on the manager\u2019s shoulder when Arnold nods at me.\u00a0 \u201cOf course you\u2019re right.\u00a0 I should have made everyone feel welcome.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0Biphobia falls over in a heap, suddenly tiny.\u00a0 \u201cBloody half-gays!\u201d he shouts.\u00a0 \u201cSwitch-hitters!\u00a0 Purple-wearing disease spreaders!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0I pay him no heed as I walk out of the room with my new friends.\u00a0 I leave Biphobia behind.\u00a0 And maybe he\u2019ll pop up again tomorrow, but something has changed in me now.\u00a0 Biphobia doesn\u2019t scare me anymore.<\/p>\n

\"image\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<\/p>\n

Biphobia<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

By Jacqueline Applebee<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

 (Previously printed in Bisexual Community News<\/a>.  Free to repost with author credit)<\/em><\/p>\n<\/p>\n

Some people face biphobia at work; some at their local church, mosque or pub. The irrational fear and hatred of bisexuality is not a concept for me.  Biphobia is real.  It stands about seven feet tall with a red, blotchy face.  Biphobia wears a shabby black cloak. He has an evil stare.  Biphobia makes me feel very uncomfortable sometimes.<\/p>\n

 I wake up one day to find Biphobia sitting at the bottom of my bed, smoking a cigarette.  “You managed to sleep with a woman yet?” he points to the mound beneath the covers.<\/p>\n

 My boyfriend groans, turns over and blinks at me.  “Morning, love.”<\/p>\n

 Biphobia stubs the cigarette out inches from my leg.  “Nobody will take you seriously if you only sleep with men,” Biphobia growls.  “Find yourself a hot lesbian, and she’ll sort you out.  <\/span>Your neighbour, Paula will do.”  <\/span><\/p>\n

As if on cue, I hear a knock at the front door.  <\/span>I jump out of bed, pulling a long t-shirt over my head.  Sure enough, Paula is outside holding a kitten in her arms.<\/p>\n

 “How sweet,” Biphobia drawls.  “A lesbian with a cat—two for the price of one.”<\/p>\n

 “Can you keep Moxie for the morning?” Paula asks breathlessly.  “My mum is coming around.”<\/p>\n

 “Is she allergic to cats?” I ask.<\/p>\n

 “Moxie’s allergic to her.  Some people are just too straight, you know?”<\/p>\n

 I take the mewling cat.  “No problem, Paula.  I’m not due in until this afternoon. It will be fun to play with the little thing.”<\/p>\n

 Paula straightens her blouse, fingers the top button.  “I was wondering, if you’ve got nothing else on, why not come over for lunch?” Paula smiles at me.  “I’ve been thinking of you a lot, you know?”<\/p>\n

 At that moment, my boyfriend comes down the stairs wearing nothing but a towel draped around his hips. <\/p>\n

 Paula goes pale.  “Oh, I see you’re busy.”  She literally grabs the kitten from me.<\/p>\n

 “I can still look after Moxie,” I say to her retreating back.<\/p>\n

 “I don’t want her exposed to hetero-normative influences.  She’s a sensitive creature, you know?”<\/p>\n

 Biphobia shuts the door.  He glares at me for some time.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

The bank I work for starts an LGBT networking group.  I don’t quite believe it is real until I enter a room full of happy faces.  Queer staff and their partners from all over the South-East have travelled to our Brighton head office to take part in the launch.  Of course, Biphobia turns up to the event too.  He sloshes down bottles of wine, and eats all the sausage rolls.<\/p>\n

 A senior cashier from Littlehampton corners me by the windows.  “Did you bring your girlfriend with you?” she asks.<\/p>\n

 “I have a boyfriend,” I respond before I can stop myself.  “He was busy.”<\/p>\n

 The cashier looks like I’ve slapped her.  “This group is vitally important for gays and lesbians.  It’s not for straights.”<\/p>\n

 “I’m bisexual.”  I’m aware my voice is a whisper.  I’m aware I don’t want anyone else to hear me.  Biphobia slips an arm around my shoulder.  I feel totally intimidated.<\/p>\n

 The cashier looks embarrassed.  She says nothing as she turns and quickly walks away.<\/p>\n

 Arnold Rosbottom, the area manager, makes a speech.  He is full of earnest words.  Gays and lesbians are addressed in every single line.  Transgender workers get a special mention toward the end.  But he doesn’t say bisexual<\/span><\/em> once. <\/p>\n

I feel Biphobia’s arms wrap around my chest.  He squeezes me so I can barely breathe.   <\/span>“You can end this right now,” Biphobia says.  “Admit you’re really a lesbian.  Hell, admit you’re really straight, and you won’t have to put up with any more of this crap.”<\/p>\n

 I feel absolutely terrified as another woman approaches me, even though she smiles as she speaks.  “A group of us girls are going to the Candy Bar<\/em> later.  We can get away from all these horrid gay boys.”<\/p>\n

 Biphobia’s hand slides up to my throat.  “Say yes,” he whispers.  “Join them.”<\/p>\n

 My voice is a squeak when my mouth opens.  “I’m bisexual.  I don’t hate men.”  Biphobia’s grip on my throat slackens as I continue.  “I like people, period.”<\/p>\n

 The woman screws up her face.  “You need to make up your mind.”<\/p>\n

 “Preach, sister!” Biphobia calls out.  He stands beside her, but he looks somehow smaller.<\/p>\n

 “I have made up my mind,” I say with a new strength in my voice.  “I’m leaving.  I’m going to the Brighton Bothways<\/a> meet-up instead.”<\/p>\n

 “What’s that?” she asks with a scowl.  “Some fetish club?”<\/p>\n

 “It’s for social for bisexuals and their allies.”<\/p>\n

 A man standing nearby turns to me.  “A bisexual meet up?  Can I come too?”  He tugs on another woman’s sleeve.  “Betty, we’re not the only ones!”<\/p>\n

 Betty’s eyes light up.  “Thank goodness.  I feel invisible in this place.”  She loops her arm through mine, leads me to the door.<\/p>\n

 Arnold Rosbottom catches my eye as we all exit.  “Leaving already?”<\/p>\n

 “There’s nothing here for bisexuals,” I say.  “You ought to fix that.”<\/p>\n

 I spot Biphobia slide up behind Arnold.  He is about to put his hands on the manager’s shoulder when Arnold nods at me.  “Of course you’re right.  I should have made everyone feel welcome.”<\/p>\n

 Biphobia falls over in a heap, suddenly tiny.  “Bloody half-gays!” he shouts.  “Switch-hitters!  Purple-wearing disease spreaders!”<\/p>\n

 I pay him no heed as I walk out of the room with my new friends.  I leave Biphobia behind.  And maybe he’ll pop up again tomorrow, but something has changed in me now.  Biphobia doesn’t scare me anymore.<\/p>\n

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