At some point in their lives, most bisexual people will have asked themselves, \u2018Am I really bisexual?\u2019. You might be asking yourself this question right now. Often the implication of the question is \u2018Am I a \u2018true\u2019 bisexual?\u2019, as if there\u2019s a gold standard or generic way of being bisexual.<\/p>\n
For some, being a \u2018true\u2019 bisexual may mean experiencing equal attraction to men and women, or if not equal attraction, then a fixed and clear attraction that doesn\u2019t change over time.\u00a0 If we don\u2019t match up to the gold standard, then we can feel we don\u2019t qualify as bisexual.<\/p>\n
The reality of bisexual experience is that it\u2019s diverse and hard to pin down in simple categories.\u00a0 There is no gold standard, just like there\u2019s no gold standard for heterosexuality or homosexuality. Bisexuality can be fluid and variable. Levels of attraction can change and fluctuate, as well as respond to circumstance and who is around you at a particular time.\u00a0\u00a0 Many bisexuals, therefore, find it very hard to say whether they prefer men or women.<\/p>\n
Some bisexuals will have felt attraction to men and women since puberty or earlier, while others find themselves first attracted to members of both sexes later in life, having experienced only straight or gay attraction up to that point.\u00a0 Some bisexual people are also attracted to transsexual and transgender people.<\/p>\n
Uncertainty about whether we are bisexual usually arises not because we don\u2019t know what our sexual desires are, but because we live in a society which doesn\u2019t yet have an established, shared understanding of what bisexuality is.\u00a0 In fact, society throws out a range of confusing and negative messages about bisexuality<\/a>.<\/p>\n Sure, the idea that a bisexual is someone who is sexually attracted to men and women is widespread enough, but along with that idea come a host of myths and stereotypes which serve to invalidate bisexuality as a legitimate identity and way of being.<\/p>\n Among the negative messages about bisexuality prevalent in our society is the idea that bisexuality doesn\u2019t exist as an ongoing sexual identity.\u00a0 This idea suggests that bisexuality is just a developmental phase or a period of confusion that ends in hetero or homosexuality.\u00a0 Sometimes identifying as bisexual is seen as a cover story for insecure gay people or straight people trying to be edgy or cool.<\/p>\n Bisexuals have to put up with other misguided beliefs including the notion that bisexuals are sexually voracious and promiscuous, incapable of monogamy and unable to be satisfied without simultaneous male and female partners.<\/p>\n So, if you\u2019re asking yourself \u2018Am I\u00a0bisexual?\u2019, here are some helpful things to remember:<\/p>\n <\/p>\n\n