![\"Guess](\"http:\/\/beingloquacious.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/07\/lauraandkat.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nGuess which one is the bisexual. Go on, guess. You\u2019re wrong. It\u2019s both.<\/p>\n
She\u2019s half right.\u00a0 I am pretty terrible at being a lesbian.\u00a0 The part where I have sex with men is probably my biggest point of failure. Ah yes<\/em>, I think, as I crawl into bed with yet another reasonably nice bloke, this lesbian lark really doesn\u2019t suit me<\/em>.\u00a0 Except, of course, it does.\u00a0 It suits me roughly (very roughly, I don\u2019t keep count) fifty percent of the time.\u00a0 The fifty percent of the time where I get the giggles trying to talk to the pretty lady who dispenses my monthly prescriptions, or when I get hit in the face for making a badly judged move on a woman in a club (complete misunderstanding, hastily rectified).\u00a0 Yeah, there\u2019s definitely a part of me that\u2019s gay.\u00a0 A part sizeable enough that I can\u2019t suppress it without exploding into deranged stereotypes a few months down the line, so I\u2019ve stopped trying.<\/p>\n Bisexuality.\u00a0 It\u2019s a bit of a dirty word in all circles.\u00a0 The associations are enough to put anyone off. Promiscuous.\u00a0 Flighty.\u00a0 Fickle.\u00a0 Greedy.\u00a0 Indecisive.\u00a0 The L and G of the LGB community are about as welcoming to the B as those outside of the holy trinity (the T of the standard LGBT moniker is also royally shafted, but that\u2019s an discussion for another day, and probably not one I should host.)\u00a0 They\u2019re all too often seen as traitors, ready to jump ship and \u2018make it straight\u2019 the moment trouble beckons, the moment homophobia becomes a threat in the street or in the House of Commons.\u00a0 I could, after all, just swan off and marry a bloke and be perfectly happy and forget all about my desires for women, right?\u00a0 Well, no. Wrong. I can\u2019t. It\u2019s not as straightforward as that.<\/p>\n I have seen bisexuality described in various manners.\u00a0 There is of course the standard Kinsey scale, as found below:<\/p>\n Bisexual can encompass numbers one to five, with only zero, six and X excluding one or more of the genders.\u00a0 For some, \u2018true\u2019 bisexuality sits only at number three, a pure fifty-fifty split. Others describe a sort of \u2018pendulum\u2019 effect \u2013 veering wildly back and forth across the scale at the behest of an unknown force within the human body which demands that lust, love and all desires be sated with breasts, then penises, and then damn it, we\u2019ll have both.\u00a0 Both is good<\/i>.\u00a0 It\u2019s complex, it\u2019s unpredictable, and it\u2019s different for pretty much everyone.\u00a0 It\u2019s also undoubtedly, unequivocally real<\/i>.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, so you like men now?\u201d is not an appropriate response to someone you know who has previously dated women and is now dating a man.\u00a0 For a start, it\u2019s not really any of your business \u2013 if someone is dating an individual, assume he or she likes (or loves) the individual and nothing more.\u00a0 I\u2019ve known a woman to fall madly in love with another woman, but only<\/i> that woman, and to not be attracted to the female gender as a whole. It happens to men, too.\u00a0 People can and will surprise you.\u00a0 Emotional and physical connections are intense and can spring up in what seem to be the most unlikely of places.\u00a0 Most importantly, someone dating a person of one gender does not mean they have suddenly given up on or stopped being attracted to the other.\u00a0 Even if they get married and plan to live monogamously with said partner, they can still identify as bisexual.\u00a0 You don\u2019t suddenly become heterosexual or homosexual just because you settled down.<\/p>\n On that note, bisexuals can indeed settle down.\u00a0 The standard impression of promiscuous, \u2018slutty\u2019 individuals who either want attention or who just weren\u2019t loved enough as children is bafflingly offensive because it simply isn\u2019t true.\u00a0 There is nothing intrinsically damaging about bisexuality; it is not anti-family, or dangerous. I have every intention of pursuing a stable relationship to the conclusion of a home, of love, and of children. I am not, at the behest of my wild and unbridled desires, going to see out my life in the bottom of a ditch, rutting madly with fellow sexual miscreants (and even if I did, that\u2019s my problem, not yours). Some bisexuals will engage in reckless sexual behaviour, and some won\u2019t, much the same as heterosexual and homosexual individuals. Bisexuals are not a homogenous group who all adhere to the same code of sexual ethics, although I suspect that the majority of \u2018us\u2019 are a lot duller than the media likes to make out.<\/p>\n In secondary school I recall \u2018crazes\u2019 of bisexuality among girls in my year, but this is part of growing up: experimentation, exploration.\u00a0 A good number of the girls I knew who claimed bisexuality were simply trying to learn something about themselves without committing to a sexual identity that they perceived as \u2018other\u2019, or even as wrong. They saw it as acceptable because they \u2018liked boys too.\u2019\u00a0 And a lot of them ended up liking boys exclusively regardless, because teenagers are flighty and indecisive as a general rule.\u00a0And that\u2019s okay. That\u2019s what happens when people are figuring out who they are. They are allowed<\/em> to change their minds.<\/p>\n But regardless of this fact, if anyone, teen or adult, tells you in earnest that they are bisexual, take them as seriously as they ask of you.\u00a0 Don\u2019t tell them that they\u2019ll choose one day, that they\u2019ll realise what they are and that they\u2019ll find the gender that suits them.\u00a0 Both<\/i> genders suit me.\u00a0 There are pros and cons on both sides.\u00a0 I\u2019ve dated men for their scratchy beards and the thrill of PIV sex.\u00a0 I\u2019ve dated women for their phenomenal breasts and the incomparable intimacy of sharing their beds.\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen the best and worst of both genders and can confirm, without bias, that humans in general are just pretty ridiculous in every possible measure.<\/p>\n Do I sound haughty?\u00a0 Good.\u00a0 It\u2019s a sore point, and one that I do not address often; so maligned have I found myself for not choosing one sexuality or the other that I tend to just stick to the gender of the person I\u2019m seeing at the time to avoid questions.\u00a0 I\u2019ve labeled myself as a lesbian on numerous occasions just to escape the derisive sneers that come with the word \u2018bisexual\u2019.\u00a0 I\u2019ve let people assume without correcting them because they seem offended that I think it matters.\u00a0 But it\u2019s my sexuality.\u00a0 It does<\/i> matter. And so, well, here I am. I am Laura. I am bisexual. And I refuse to be ashamed of that any more.<\/p>\n Image credits:<\/a>The Kinsey Scale<\/p>\n<\/a>I googled \u2018bisexuality\u2019 and this was one of the top results. I cannot vouch for its accuracy.<\/p>\n
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\nKinsey Scale from LuvandKiwi<\/a>
\nBisexuality from ManCrunch<\/a><\/p>\n