{"id":3157,"date":"2016-01-30T14:46:54","date_gmt":"2016-01-30T14:46:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bisexualblogs.wordpress.com\/?p=977"},"modified":"2016-01-30T14:46:54","modified_gmt":"2016-01-30T14:46:54","slug":"saying-something-doesnt-make-it-so","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/2016\/01\/saying-something-doesnt-make-it-so\/","title":{"rendered":"Saying Something Doesn\u2019t Make It So"},"content":{"rendered":"

Recently I mentioned an\u00a0LGBTQ+ issue\u00a0to a colleague\u00a0and was immediately met with the words “But that’s not really a problem any more.”<\/p>\n

This happens to me a lot.<\/p>\n

I can understand the (false) reasoning behind the sentiment. There is a pervasive feeling amongst people with privilege in our society that, in this modern day and age, things have improved and people are now\u00a0tolerant and accepting. Like we’ve reached and crossed a finish line and there is nothing else to be done. It’s 2016 you know? That stuff just doesn’t happen any more! I can also understand how the ‘I don’t see it, so it mustn’t happen’ way of thinking an take hold. For\u00a0example if you are white, and your life doesn’t intersect with any\/many BME people, then you wouldn’t see any violence, prejudice or discrimination against them taking place. So you could reach a false conclusion that it barely occurs. (I sadly, wrongly used to be that person.)<\/p>\n

I think the British media also exacerbates\u00a0this, as issues such as racism in the police force or\u00a0the fight for equal marriage in America often get more coverage than UK issues. Or the UK issues barely\u00a0get mentioned at all. So people think it’s not much of a problem here. E.g. many people have heard\u00a0of how all the Oscar nominees are all white this year, but they might not think about the lack of diversity in British film and television. And BME\u00a0people are more likely to die in police custody<\/a> in the UK too. In terms of general knowledge, a\u00a0lot of people will know who Caitlyn Jenner is, but could they name a British trans person?<\/p>\n

A lot of people don’t want to think about these things because it makes them feel uncomfortable. So it’s easier for them just to say it’s not an issue, and\u00a0suppress other people speaking up about it. “Just live your life and be happy.” they say. “Stop making everything into a big deal!” Or they do things like make you hide your (perfectly reasonable) posters for a protest in case you upset other people, who aren’t even affected by the issue you’re protesting against!<\/p>\n

And yes things definitely have improved a lot over time. But saying that things are still bad isn’t disagreeing with\u00a0that, it’s acknowledging that something is still happening\u00a0that people shouldn’t have to deal with. That something, like violence against trans people<\/a>, or LGBTQ+ homelessness<\/a>, or the fact that women\u00a0are more likely to be raped if\u00a0they’re bisexual<\/a> needs to stop NOW. ASAP. We can’t improve anything if people won’t even accept it’s happening. It’s a powerful tool of oppression.<\/p>\n

It’s really frustrating when people who are not affected by an issue, or are not a member of a minority group disproportionately affected by something,\u00a0insist that it’s not really a problem. Putting salt instead of sugar into your tea by accident is an example of something that is not really a problem. Saying something doesn’t make it so, and I wish people would at least listen for a few minutes before opening their mouths in these situations. If they meant well and honestly didn’t know it was an issue in society, then why can’t they take a step back and think, “Well by Jove, I’m so lucky. I was so unaffected by that awful thing I didn’t even know about it! I should learn about it, and see if there is anything I can do to help stop it.”<\/p>\n

On this occasion I didn’t know the exact\u00a0figures, so I just mumbled quietly that\u00a0it is still a problem before the conversation moved on. I have just looked it up\u00a0for next time. We shouldn’t have to be walking encyclopaedias of depressing statistics, but other people often force us into that position by insisting things aren’t important or that they aren’t happening.\u00a0Then they get\u00a0into arguments with us when we have the audacity to point\u00a0out\u00a0their false\u00a0beliefs.<\/p>\n

Life makes me tired, and I am tired of banging my head repeatedly against brick walls.<\/p>\n

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Recently I mentioned an LGBTQ+ issue to a colleague and was immediately met with the words “But that’s not really a problem any more.” This happens to me a lot. I can understand the (false) reasoning behind the sentiment. There is a pervasive feeling amongst people with privilege in our society that, in this modern day and age, … Continue reading Saying Something Doesn’t Make It So<\/span> →<\/span><\/a>\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":36,"featured_media":1211,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[392,389],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3157","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bi-activism","category-my-bi-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3157","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/36"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3157"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3157\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4694,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3157\/revisions\/4694"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1211"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3157"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3157"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3157"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}