{"id":3579,"date":"2016-10-02T21:32:13","date_gmt":"2016-10-02T20:32:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bisexualblogs.wordpress.com\/?p=1472"},"modified":"2016-10-02T21:32:13","modified_gmt":"2016-10-02T20:32:13","slug":"pre-kiss-checklist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/2016\/10\/pre-kiss-checklist\/","title":{"rendered":"Pre-Kiss Checklist"},"content":{"rendered":"

Earlier in the year\u00a0I met a really cool woman whilst out and about in London. We got chatting and went for drinks and to my delight got on so well we agreed to meet up again later in the week . However as far as I was concerned this was only for friendship – and I hadn’t said or done anything to indicate otherwise. So Friday arrived and I was looking forward to another night of hanging out with my new companion. She knew I was bi and I knew she wasn’t straight so I was also happy to get a chance\u00a0to relax, be out of the closet, and be myself.<\/p>\n

After getting some food\u00a0we went to a bar in Soho. We had drinks. We talked more. We laughed at how these kinds of places\u00a0always seem to be the size of your living room.We grimaced at the leaky ceiling and shook our heads in bemusement when a member of staff\u00a0tried to staple napkins to it to stop more bits of plywood from dropping\u00a0to the floor.\u00a0Later we got up and went for a dance. I\u00a0can’t remember what the questions she asked me next were\u00a0exactly but it went something like this:<\/p>\n

“So have you been in relationships with women, or just men?”<\/p>\n

I answered.<\/p>\n

“And were those, like, proper long term relationships or just short term things?”<\/p>\n

I answered.<\/p>\n

A minute or so later she\u00a0slammed her lips against\u00a0mine. I was very surprised! Maybe\u00a0I should have said earlier that I just had friendship in mind (but then she\u00a0didn’t say she was thinking of more either). And maybe\u00a0I could have picked up on her intentions at some point in the evening and subtly clarified. But I’m not very good at this socialising with other people thing and low self esteem means I struggle to comprehend how anyone can want me romantically.\u00a0I honestly had no idea she might have assumed otherwise. Oh well. At least I know now for next time.<\/p>\n

But all that is beside the point really.<\/p>\n

I hate how my sexuality comes with so many assumptions and negative connotations. I hate how she only wanted to kiss me after she had assessed that I was ‘gay enough’ and had ‘dated women enough’ to be a suitable\u00a0recipient for\u00a0her affections. If my answers had been different, would I have been judged unworthy? As someone ‘too straight’, too unreliable, and too untrustworthy to be intimate with? \u00a0It was a really unpleasant experience.<\/p>\n

I am bisexual. And I am ‘bi enough’ thank you very much.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a> \"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Earlier in the year I met a really cool woman whilst out and about in London. We got chatting and went for drinks and to my delight got on so well we agreed to meet up again later in the week . However as far as I was concerned this was only for friendship – and … Continue reading Pre-Kiss Checklist<\/span> →<\/span><\/a>\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":36,"featured_media":1211,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3579","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3579","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/36"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3579"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3579\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4690,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3579\/revisions\/4690"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1211"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3579"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3579"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3579"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}