{"id":8399,"date":"2018-12-25T11:22:00","date_gmt":"2018-12-25T11:22:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/j-applebee.tumblr.com\/post\/181398677448"},"modified":"2018-12-25T11:22:00","modified_gmt":"2018-12-25T11:22:00","slug":"would-you-date-a-bisexualamong-the-many-insensitive-questions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/2018\/12\/would-you-date-a-bisexualamong-the-many-insensitive-questions\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cWould you date a bisexual?\u201dAmong the many insensitive questions…"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you date a bisexual?\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

Among the many insensitive questions I\u2019d like to see disappear in 2019, this is in my top 10. \u00a0Firstly, it sets up the answer to be either\u00a0\u2018yes\u2019 or\u00a0\u2018no\u2019 and when it comes to dating and romance, things are rarely this simple. \u00a0It also assumes that the person answering the question isn\u2019t bisexual\/pansexual themselves. \u00a0The way some of these questions are phrased are also leading: \u201cWould you date a man who had sex with a man?\u201d \u00a0The person asking this question is often looking for shock value; a reinforcement of their own ideas. \u00a0I\u2019ve seen many youtube vids where this question is aimed at people assumed to be intolerant or bigoted. \u00a0Type the words,\u00a0\u201cBlack bisexuality\u201d into the search box of youtube, and you will find zillions of reactionary, depressing vids of black people, whether they are gay, lesbian or straight. \u00a0Tempers quickly flare at just the thought of dating a bi\/pan person – how dare the interviewer even ask them such a thing? \u00a0Stereotypes abound, voices are raised, faces become twisted. \u00a0Bisexuals cheat; they spread sexually transmitted diseases, they can\u2019t be faithful and will always want to be with another gender. \u00a0The potential for emotional and physical violence is evident in the disgust of many responses. \u00a0As a black bisexual person watching these videos, it makes me despair – having been out and open as bi for 25 years, these are the same responses I heard right at the very start. \u00a0So little has changed for bisexuals of colour.<\/p>\n

Bisexuality and Pansexuality is about attraction to more than one gender: you can be bi\/pan and a virgin\/celibate\/aromantic. \u00a0But to bigots, bisexuality is about having unsafe sex with as many people as possible, so that means they don\u2019t deserve respect at even the most basic level. \u00a0The chances of the people answering this question, having dated\/slept with\/fallen in love with\/been attracted to a bisexual person who was closeted, is pretty high, but their knee-jerk\u00a0\u201cNO!\u201d ignores all that. \u00a0It lets the world know the responders aren\u2019t that kind of person – sullied by any theoretical closeness to bi\/pan people.<\/p>\n

Would you date someone you were attracted to? \u00a0Would you be with someone you love, but many straight and gay\/lesbian folks hate? \u00a0Would you accept that people who cheat or exhibit unsafe behaviour, come from all sexual orientations? \u00a0If the answer to the above three questions is YES, then I want to say THANK YOU for being an okay human being.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cWould you date a bisexual?\u201dAmong the many insensitive questions I\u2019d like to see disappear in 2019, this is in my top 10. \u00a0Firstly, it sets up the answer to be either\u00a0\u2018yes\u2019 or\u00a0\u2018no\u2019 and when it comes to dating and romance, things are rarely this simple….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":1211,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[764,4,133,180,762,415,166,84,763],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8399","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aromantic","category-biphobia","category-bisexuality","category-black","category-black-bisexuals","category-lgbtqia","category-queer","category-sexuality","category-youtube"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8399","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8399"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8399\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8400,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8399\/revisions\/8400"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1211"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8399"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8399"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8399"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}