{"id":8682,"date":"2015-07-23T15:50:47","date_gmt":"2015-07-23T14:50:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/happybisexual.com\/?p=192"},"modified":"2015-07-23T15:50:47","modified_gmt":"2015-07-23T14:50:47","slug":"bicurious-or-bisexual-its-your-choice-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/2015\/07\/bicurious-or-bisexual-its-your-choice-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Bicurious or Bisexual? It\u2019s Your Choice"},"content":{"rendered":"

Identifying as bisexual can bring many benefits<\/a>, but it\u2019s not the only identity available to people who experience attraction to more than one gender.\u00a0 Terms such as bicurious, heteroflexible, homoflexible, \u2018mostly straight\u2019 and \u2018mostly gay\u2019 all create spaces for people to develop new understandings and ways of expressing their sexual desires.\u00a0 They can all be tools to help us interact effectively and happily in the world, used alone or even in combination.<\/p>\n

Which identity you prefer depends, in part, on what your sexual attractions mean to you. \u00a0My attractions to women and men have been significant to me, so it makes sense to\u00a0me to identify as bisexual. \u00a0It feels integral to my sense of who I am.\u00a0 No other term but bisexual would do justice to my experience.\u00a0 \u00a0Calling myself bisexual also functions as a simple descriptor of who I can be attracted to.\u00a0 It\u2019s a way of being honest and clear with myself and other people.<\/p>\n

Some people who experience attraction to both men and women find that the term bisexual doesn\u2019t fit them so well.\u00a0 A 2013 review<\/a> of multiple studies on sexual attraction found that up to 23% of women and 9% of men identified as \u2018mostly heterosexual\u2019. Mostly heterosexuals (MHs) were found to have greater same sex attraction than heterosexuals, but less than those who identified as bisexual.\u00a0 MHs reported experiencing minor same-sex attractions which were purely sexual in nature, and lacking any romantic element. \u00a0The review also found that MH is an enduring sexual orientation, and not a temporary or one-off experience.<\/p>\n

The MH label was provided as an option on the surveys that informed the studies, so it\u2019s unlikely that many people actually use this term to describe themselves in real life.\u00a0 MHs probably identify as heterosexual, but they might also use identifiers like bicurious or heteroflexible in certain contexts such as dating sites.<\/p>\n

An MH could also choose to identify as bisexual.\u00a0 Bisexual identity includes people with almost any degree of attraction to more than one gender.\u00a0 So, if you\u2019ve been attracted to 500 women in your life and only 1 man, then it\u2019s entirely legitimate to identify as bisexual, if that\u2019s what feels right to you. Alternatively, if your attraction is heavily weighted to one gender, you might decide to choose a label like bicurious or hetero\/homoflexible, or even a monosexual label such as straight or gay.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no obligation to adopt any sexual identity at all, if you don\u2019t want to. It can, though, be advantageous if you do. Labels and identities can help us find communities of like-minded people, so that we can build supportive relationships with others.\u00a0 They\u2019re also tools which enable us to understand ourselves and our desires. \u00a0They help other people understand us better, too.<\/p>\n

But sexual identities are not prisons.\u00a0 We are free to adopt different labels at different times of our lives, should our understanding of our desires change. \u00a0Sexual labels are not fixed, scientific descriptors of some absolute reality. In fact, sexual identities were invented in the 19th<\/sup> century by the pioneering academic sexologists<\/a> seeking to study and categorise sexual behavior.<\/p>\n

The work of Alfred Kinsey and subsequent sex researchers has since shown that sexuality is complex and can\u2019t always be expressed in simple categories.\u00a0 As LGBT activist Peter Tatchell has argued<\/a>, if a post-homophobic, post-biphobic society ever develops, then sexual identities could even become redundant. \u00a0Until that time, however, sexual identities will remain essential tools of understanding and activism.<\/p>\n

There is no one right way for any person to identify.\u00a0 The important thing is that we feel comfortable with the identity we choose.<\/p>\n

So, bisexual or bicurious? It doesn\u2019t matter, as long as you\u2019ve found an identity that works for you.<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re struggling with being bisexual, or need support with any aspect of life relating to bisexuality, then I offer personal coaching services via Skype or phone.\u00a0 Feel free to\u00a0contact me<\/a>\u00a0to set up a free, no obligation 30 minute introductory session.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

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The post Bicurious or Bisexual? It\u2019s Your Choice<\/a> appeared first on Happy Bisexual<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Identifying as bisexual can bring many benefits, but it’s not the only identity available to people who experience attraction to more than one gender.  Terms such as bicurious, heteroflexible, homoflexible, ‘mostly straight’ and ‘mostly gay’ all create spaces for people to develop new understandings and ways of expressing their sexual desires.  They can all be […]<\/p>\n

The post Bicurious or Bisexual? It’s Your Choice<\/a> appeared first on Happy Bisexual<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":1211,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[109,325,408],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8682","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-identity","category-society","category-wellbeing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8682","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/37"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8682"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8682\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8683,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8682\/revisions\/8683"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1211"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8682"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8682"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bimedia.org\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8682"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}