99 Prob(i)lems

This is my first ever blog and it’s all a bit scary…
To stop complete first blog rambles, I’m going to take some of my ‘favourite’ myths about bisexuality and debunk them in my own lovely little way 🙂

“There’s no such thing as bisexuality. You are gay or straight…if you’re bisexual you’re confused.”
I spend much of my life confused by one thing or another, I’ll give you that, but my sexuality isn’t one of them…
Yes, many people use the term ‘bisexual’ at some point in their life during a transition between sexualities, but it is not where they end up identifying themselves. That doesn’t mean that the people who do choose to be labelled as bisexual are also transitional in their identity of their sexuality.
I have indeed been asked many of my friends on the sly “Are you sure you’re not really gay/straight…you can tell me you know…” I appreciate your support dudes and dudettes, but I reeeeally don’t see gender when I become attracted to someone…
When I’m in a relationship with a girl I don’t miraculously become a lesbian, and when I’m in a relationship with a guy I’m not straight again. I’m ALWAYS bi.
If I wanted to come out as a lesbian woman/straight woman, I WOULD. It would be easier than effectively having to ‘come out’ twice to everyone.

“Bisexuals are sluts”
In actual fact, bisexuals are no more likely to cheat than lesbian women, gay men or heterosexual individuals. ‘Ave itttt. And stop paying attention to the media.
Just because we technically have more options doesn’t mean we like to sow our seed (as it were) twice as much. It’s about who you’re attracted to, not how many of them you can attach yourself to…
Yes, I am the only person I know of that has licked a pan seductively. But it was for the lols, okay, not to attract a potential mate.

“Bisexuals are greedy”
Being bi is not the same as WANTING ALL OF THE SEX ALL OF THE TIME. See above.
Though if you’re talking about pepsi max/cheese triangles/snaffling cheesy Wotsits, then yes, I am greedy. Omnom, get in my belly.

“You only kiss girls to get with guys/turn guys on.”
This one I’ve actually genuinely been told a few times. It’s really counter-intuitive. If I wanted to get with a guy, I’d get to know him, become ridiculously shy and awkward and eventually make some sort of clumsy move. I wouldn’t get with a girl in front of him.
Yes, Britney and Madonna did it and some people thought it was “WELL FIT.” Yes, there are what I like to call ‘bar/beersexuals’ who are inclined to get with their mates/a person of the same gender when they’re a bit tipsy, but these aren’t people who actually identify as bisexual. Katy Perry, you are attractive, and I’m glad you enjoyed kissing that girl that time in front of your boyfriend, but that’s not what a bisexual does. Kthnxbai.

“Bisexuals carry/transmit more STDs”
It’s not who you do, it’s how you do them, kiddos. Safe sex = no STDs, regardless of orientation.

“Bisexuals are just looking for sex.”
Funnily enough, we are as capable as wanting love and cuddles as any other sexuality. Regardless of your gender, if I’m with you, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU.
Also, no I don’t want a threesome with you and your significant other, thanks for the thought/offer but please leave me be.

“Bisexuals can’t decide if they want to be in the ‘straight’ world or the ‘gay’ world.”
So obviously I plonked myself in between where neither world really accepts me properly. Excellent.
Many straight men see me as easy/something to tame/a goal; many straight women see me as a threat to their partners and also think I may jump them at any minute with my raucous sexual nature. A lot of lesbian women (in my experience) think I can never love them properly/I’m going to leave them for my love of the male-chicken. We don’t manage to integrate ourselves in both worlds, but alienate ourselves…

“Bisexuals love puns”
This one is true. TROLOLOL.
Humour appeals to my sexy brain.
Off to work on my biceps (lol jokes, I hate the gym)