Bi guy and a straight guy sit on a sofa

Bi guy and a straight guy sit on a sofa

I just uploaded a video response to one of my favourite Youtubers, RJ, a bi man in a same-sex relationship who does a daily vlog with his boyfriend Will, to show that two men can have a completely normal life together - they are amazing, and entertaini...
Is it worth it?

Is it worth it?

I promise this post is bisexuality-related, but let me lay out some context.On July 12th I finished my second year of my three year degree course in stage management. I went home, and spent a week working as the stage manager for a kid's holiday drama ...
Is it worth it?

Is it worth it?

I promise this post is bisexuality-related, but let me lay out some context.On July 12th I finished my second year of my three year degree course in stage management. I went home, and spent a week working as the stage manager for a kid's holiday drama ...
SAME SEX MARRIAGE AND A PRINCE!

SAME SEX MARRIAGE AND A PRINCE!

So news these past few weeks has been full of stuff I like! The same sex marriage bill finally got passed, making it all the way to the final stage when it got signed off by the Queen on 17th July, good ol' Liz. Yes, I am a fan of monarchy, for all sor...
Write to the Lords

Write to the Lords

With less than a week until the Lords begins to debate same-sex marriage, I used WriteToThem.com to write to a random Lord. I got given Lord Kalms, and here is the email I sent him.Dear Lord Kalms,Life is sometimes difficult. This is true for everyone,...
Will being bisexual affect my career?

Will being bisexual affect my career?

This post is inspired by my last few weeks considering my third year (next year). It will be my last year of my vocational honours degree, and so comes with a few extra things on the to do list. A work placement, a 2500 words self-evaluation essay, and...
Will being bisexual affect my career?

Will being bisexual affect my career?

This post is inspired by my last few weeks considering my third year (next year). It will be my last year of my vocational honours degree, and so comes with a few extra things on the to do list. A work placement, a 2500 words self-evaluation essay, and...
Jessie J the bisexual

Jessie J the bisexual

"I've never denied it. They say how my sexuality isn’t “exclusive”, but I’ve never hidden it – even in the early days. I’m not afraid to say I’m very comfortable with who I am and I love who I love.’ Whoopie doo guys, yes, I've dated girls and I've dated boys – get over it. It’s the person, not the genitals. The frustrating thing is that if I was with a guy right now, I’d be [considered] straight. But if I was with a girl, I’d be “gay.” When I was with my ex-girlfriend, I used to take her around and say, “This is my girlfriend.” People would be comfortable with it because I was. That’s what annoys me about the media. The bisexual label irritates me. They'd never write 'Adele – the straight singer', but that's how the world works. I don’t drink or smoke, so this is what people like to talk about. I’ve never tried to make [my sexuality] something that’s going to put me in newspapers or magazines. I’m never, ever going to let it be something that sells my music. Sexuality shouldn’t define you. It should be part of who you are."
- Jesse J.

For me, she and Anna Paquin are my favourite popular culture bisexual role models. They have different stories - Jesse never came out to the public as such, she just was, whereas Paquin did a public announcement in support of an LGBT equality campaign - but there's something about their breeziness about their sexuality, and their candour, that I really like.

By not making a big deal, by getting exasperated at the media's obsession with it, by being entirely honest and unapologetic about who they, by being successful as themselves, and by claiming the right in their public presence to be a full member of society as a whole, rather than sticking with being only a queer public presence, they are what pop culture needs, what we need in pop culture, to elbow our way to normalising bisexuality.

They are my role models, and I was honoured enough to be told today that I'm like a role model to a woman thirty years older than me, for exactly the same reasons - how casual, unapologetic, comfortable, and open I am about who I am and who I fall in love with. But I can't take all the credit - it would be harder if I wasn't encouraged by the examples of those bisexual celebrities who are not exactly Out & Proud bisexuals, but Out & So What? bisexuals. More please, popular culture.
LGBT glossary

LGBT glossary

This glossary is from the San Francisco Human Rights Commission LGBT Advisory Committee Bisexual Invisibility: Impacts and Recommendations report (http://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/19907257/bi%20invisibility%20-%20FULL%20final%20for%20HRC.pdf) which I 'reviewed' in an earlier post. It's just such a good glossary.


Biphobia

Fear or hatred of bisexuals, sometimes manifesting in discrimination, isolation, harassment, or violence. Often biphobia is based on inaccurate stereotypes, including associations with infidelity, promiscuity, and transmission of sexually transmitted diseases. See also homophobia, transphobia

Bisexual

An individual who’s enduring physical, romantic, emotional, and/or spiritual attraction is to people of more than one sex/gender. While some people call themselves pansexual or omnisexual, these terms should be avoided unless quoting someone who self-identifies that way.

VARIATIONS: Fluid, ambisexual, pansexual

AVOID: Bi-sexual, fence sitters, switch hitters, “try”-sexual

Cisgendered

Describes people who identify with the sex they were assigned at birth. See also gender-variant

Closeted

Describes people who are not open about their sexual orientation and/or gender identity. Note, though, that for a transgender person, being closeted is different from passing as one’s preferred gender, which does not have the negative connotation of hiding something (see passing below).

Cross-Dresser, Transvestite

An individual who occasionally wears clothes traditionally associated with people of a different sex.

Cross-dressers are usually comfortable with the sex they were assigned at birth and do not wish to change it. “Cross-dresser” should NOT be used to describe someone who has transitioned to live full-time as a different sex, or who intends to do so in the future. Some people prefer to use the term transvestite to describe themselves, but it is not universally accepted and should be avoided unless quoting someone who self-identifies that way. See also gender expression

Different-Sex Couple

A romantic pairing involving two people of different sexes. The individuals involved may identify with any sexual orientation.

AVOID: Opposite-sex couple, straight couple, heterosexual couple

Drag Queen, Drag King

An individual who wears clothes traditionally associated with people of a different sex primarily as a costume or persona, usually in the context of a public event or performance. The outfits of drag queens/kings often include elements that are exaggerated or over the top, such as elaborate gowns or fake facial hair. See also gender expression

Dyke

Traditionally a pejorative term, dyke has been reclaimed by many lesbian and bisexual women to describe themselves. Some value the term for its defiance. Nevertheless, it is not universally accepted and should be avoided unless quoting someone who self-identifies that way.

VARIATIONS: Bi dyke

Gay

An individual who’s enduring physical, romantic, emotional, and/or spiritual attraction is to people of the same sex. The term usually applies specifically to men. In contemporary contexts, lesbian is often a preferred term for women, though some women of colour, working-class women, and older women still describe themselves as gay. Avoid using gay as a collective adjective when LGBT would be more accurate (for example, LGBT movement rather than gay movement).

VARIATIONS: Man-loving man

AVOID: Homosexual, fag

Gender Identity

One’s internal, personal sense of being male, female, or third-gender. For transgender and thirdgender people, their birth-assigned sex and their own internal sense of gender identity do not match.

Gender Identity Disorder (GID)

A controversial DSM-IV diagnosis given to transgender and other gender-variant people. Because it labels people as “disordered,” gender identity disorder is often considered offensive. Replaces the outdated term gender dysphoria.

Gender Expression

External manifestation of one’s gender identity, usually expressed through “masculine,” “feminine,” or gender-variant behaviour (including interests and mannerisms), clothing, haircut, voice, or body characteristics.

Gender-variant

Refers to anyone whose gender identity varies from the male/female binary, including transgender and third-gender people.

Heteronormativity

The set of power relations that normalize and regiment sexuality, marginalizing everything outside the ideals of heterosexuality, monogamy, and gender conformity.

Heterosexism; Heterosexual Privilege

Heterosexism is the attitude that heterosexuality is the only valid sexual orientation. It often takes the form of ignoring bisexuals, gay men, and lesbians. Heterosexual privilege refers to the benefits granted automatically to heterosexual people that are denied to bisexuals, gay men, and lesbians.

Bisexuals are sometimes accused of hiding behind “heterosexual” privilege when they are in different-sex couples.

Heterosexual

An individual who’s enduring physical, romantic, emotional, and/or spiritual attraction is to people of a different sex.

VARIATIONS: Straight

Homophobia

Fear or hatred of lesbians and gay men, sometimes manifesting in discrimination, isolation, harassment, or violence. Prejudice is usually a more accurate description of hatred or antipathy toward LGBT people. See also biphobia, transphobia

Intersex; Person with Intersex

Describes a person whose biological sex is ambiguous. There are many genetic, hormonal, or anatomical variations that can make a person’s sex ambiguous (such as Klinefelter Syndrome or adrenal hyperplasia).

VARIATIONS: Disorder of sex development; person with an intersex condition

AVOID: Hermaphroditism; hermaphrodite

Lesbian

A woman who’s enduring physical, romantic, emotional, and/or spiritual attraction is to other women.

VARIATIONS: Woman-loving woman

AVOID: Homosexual

LGBT

Acronym for “lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender.” LGBT and/or GLBT are often used because they are more inclusive of the diversity of the community.

VARIATIONS: GLBT, BGLT, LGBTQ (queer), LGBTQQ (queer, questioning), LGBTQQI (queer, questioning, intersex)

Marriage Equality

Access to civil marriage regardless of sexual orientation and/or gender identity. If necessary to distinguish between different types of rights, benefits, etc., use same-sex marriage and different-sex marriage. However, because same-sex couples are seeking access to an existing structure rather than trying to create a new one, it is preferable to refer to marriage equality whenever possible.

AVOID: Gay marriage

MSM

Men who have sex with men. This term is used, particularly in research, to describe sexual behaviour as distinct from sexual orientation.

MSMW

Men who have sex with men and women. This term is used, particularly in research, to describe sexual behaviour as distinct from sexual orientation.

Openly Bisexual/Gay/Lesbian/Transgender

Describes people who self-identify as bisexual/gay/lesbian/transgender in their public and/or professional lives. Unless the openness is important in context, it is preferable simply to describe the person as bisexual, gay, lesbian, or transgender.

Out/Coming Out/Outing

Being out describes a person who is open about being bisexual, gay, lesbian, or transgender. Coming out is a lifelong process of self-acceptance of one’s sexual orientation and/or gender identity. People forge an identity first for themselves and then may reveal it to others. Publicly identifying one’s sexual orientation and/or gender identity may or may not be part of coming out. Outing is the act of publicly declaring or revealing another person’s sexual orientation (sometimes based on rumour and/or speculation) without that person’s consent; it is considered inappropriate by a large portion of the LGBT community.

Passing

When applied to a transgender person, describes someone living as her/his preferred gender without (or rarely) being questioned. However, when applied to a bisexual, gay, or lesbian person, the word takes on a negative connotation (see also closeted).

Queer

Traditionally a pejorative term, queer has been appropriated by some LGBT people to describe themselves; some value the term for its defiance and because it can be inclusive of the entire LGBT community. Nevertheless, it is not universally accepted even within the LGBT community and should be avoided unless quoting someone who self-identifies that way.

Questioning

Refers to people who are uncertain as to their sexual orientation and/or gender identity. They are often seeking information and support during this stage of their identity development.

Same-Sex Couple

A romantic pairing involving two people of the same sex. The individuals involved may identify with any sexual orientation.

AVOID: Gay couple, lesbian couple, homosexual couple

Sex

The classification of people as male or female. At birth, infants are assigned a sex based on a combination of bodily characteristics, including chromosomes, hormones, internal reproductive organs, and genitals. See also intersex

Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS)

Refers to surgical alteration for transgender people (see transition). Not all transgender people choose to or can afford to have SRS.

AVOID: Sex change operation

Sexual Orientation

The scientifically accurate term for an individual’s enduring physical, romantic, emotional, and/or spiritual attraction to members of the same and/or different sex, including bisexual, gay, heterosexual, and lesbian orientations. Also note that gender identity and sexual orientation are not the same; transgender people may be bisexual, gay, heterosexual, or lesbian.

AVOID: Lifestyle, sexual preference

Third-Gender, Genderqueer

Refers to people who identify their gender as not conforming to the traditional western model of gender as binary. They may identify their gender as combining aspects of women and men or as being neither women nor men.

VARIATIONS: Androgynous, androgyne, polygender

Transgender; Transgender Person

An umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or gender expression differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. Transgender people may or may not choose to alter their bodies hormonally and/or surgically. The term may include but is not limited to transsexuals, thirdgender/genderqueer people, cross-dressers, and other gender-variant people. Use the descriptive terms (transgender, transsexual, cross-dresser, female-to-male [FTM], trans man, male-to-female

[MTF], trans woman) and pronouns preferred by the individual.

AVOID: She-male, he-she, it, trannie, tranny, gender-bender

Transition

The multi-step process of altering one’s birth sex over a long period of time. The cultural, legal, and medical adjustments made as part of transitioning may include telling one’s family, friends, and/or co-workers; using different pronouns to describe oneself; changing one’s name and/or sex on legal documents; beginning hormone therapy; and/or possibly (though not always) undergoing some form of surgical alteration.

AVOID: Sex change; pre-operative, post-operative

Transphobia

Fear or hatred of transgender people, sometimes manifesting in discrimination, isolation, harassment, or violence. See also biphobia, homophobia

Transsexual

An older term which originated in the medical and psychological communities. Many transgender people prefer the term “transgender” to “transsexual.” Some transsexual people still prefer to use the term to describe themselves. However, unlike transgender, transsexual is not an umbrella term, and many transgender people do not identify as transsexual. It is best to ask which term an individual prefers.

VARIATIONS: Transexual

Two-Spirit

A term often used in Native American/First Nation cultures to describe people whose sexual orientation and/or gender identity falls beyond binary definitions. Historically, these individuals crossed gender boundaries and were accepted (sometimes revered) by Native/First Nation cultures.

WSMW

Women who have sex with men and women. This term is used, particularly in research, to describe sexual behaviour as distinct from sexual orientation.

WSW

Women who have sex with women. This term is used, particularly in research, to describe sexual behaviour as distinct from sexual orientation.