bisexuality – Page 15

Poem: Personal Ad Hell

No butches,

No bis,

No blacks.

No fat chicks,

No trannies,

No chaps.

Must be athletic;

a real girl, no prosthetics.

Long hair,

Very queer,

Good in the sack.

But I’m easy going,

If you’re young, hot and boring.

Why not give me a tinkle?

Cos for some reason I’m still single.

London preferred;

Brighton inferred.

Must drive,

Must drink,

Must not support Spurs!

Must own at least two cats.

Must put up with all my crap.

Must be delightfully ironic.

Must not be an alcoholic.

Must be seriously in love with the Stereophonics!

No kinky girls need apply.

No girls who wanna bit on the side.

No Asians, no straights,

No girls full of hate.

No one on the planning committee of London Pride.

I’m not into drama,

But I love Lady Gaga.

If you look like her, you’re in

(As long as you don’t wear that meat-dress thing)

You see, I think we’d make a good fit,

If you’re young, hot and rich,

So why not give me a tinkle?

Cos for some reason I’m still single.

Back when I was a closeted bisexual, I’d secretly look at newspapers and magazines like Loot, Pink Paper and Time Out. Most of these publications had lots of Personals in their classified section. I found it all quite disheartening to read row upon row of text, where each one would say, “No bisexuals” or “No butches.” It was rare to see, “No blacks” but the wording of most ads spelled it out in other ways. I think the butch excluding confused me the most, but hey, femmes can be bigots too, I guess. Now that things have moved online for the most part, I still see wording like this. The only exception to this situation is on OK Cupid, where if you put that you’re a bisexual woman on your profile, zillions of men will flood your mailbox (with what, I don’t even want to know…)

Photo: J. Applebee, The Bisexual Stall at London Pride 2010

30 Days of TV bisexuality buffy the vampire slayer Desperate Housewives Glee Pretty Little Liars sexuality Skins tv

Day 24 – Best quote(s)

I had planned on making to this a Buffy special, but then I heard news that a friend of mine came out to someone important in her life, so I decided instead to make this a coming out special as a gift to her. Before any pedants say anything, yes they're not quotes but more like whole scenes. To which I say - tough, go get your own blog. :-P.

So, here are the best ones I've seen, in no particular order...

Emily and Naomi

Skins
Emily Fitch comes out as a lesbian to her family, in the most stylish way possible.
Emily, who appears in Series 3 and 4 of Skins, comes home after spending the afternoon with Naomi, Katie is her twin sister.
Mrs Fitch: It looks like you've been roughed up.
Emily: It wasn't a boy.
Katie: There, you see.
Emily: It was a girl.
Mr Fitch: You've been fighting with a girl? That's not very lady like...
Emily: No, Dad, I've been making love to a girl.
Katie: You're such a liar, don't listen to her.
Emily: Her name's Naomi. She's rather beautiful, so I was nailing her.

Pretty Little Liars

Emily and Maya

Emily Fields comes out to her dad, Colonel Fields, as a lesbian.
During the episode, 'Moments Later' Emily is on the phone to Maya. Her dad comes in, asking what's troubling her.
Emily: I'm afraid of you and mom.
Clnl Fields: Why are you afraid of us?
Emily: Because I'm not who you think I am.
Clnl Fields: You're Emily Fields, you're my little girl, I'd know you anywhere. I've got a picture of you in my wallet.
Emily: I'm 8 years old in that picture, that's a different girl.
Clnl Fields: It's the same girl, I just need a new picture.
Emily: It's not that simple.
Clnl Fields: Emmy...
Emily: I'm... gay. I'm gay. [Colonel Fields sits down, Emily starts crying]

Paige McCullers comes out to Emily as a lesbian.
Some time after Maya is sent to Camp, and she breaks up with Emily by phone, Emily sparks up a friendship with Paige, who goes to Emily's after a date with Sean. Emily asks her how the date went.
Paige: Great, good. He's a nice guy. [Emily nods] Yeah, it went OK.
Emily: Good.
Paige: Yeah [she pauses]. 'Til he kissed me. He took me home and he kissed me good night... and... I don't know, the date, the whole night just felt phoney all of a sudden, like it wasn't me... It was someone I was watching, but not me... He went home and I texted you. [Emily looks down].
Emily: Sean's a nice guy, if he's interested in you as more than a friend you have to be honest with him.
Paige: You're saying I should dump him.
Emily: [shaking her head] I'm saying you shouldn't lead him on, you have to be honest.
Paige: [closing her eyes] That is so easy for you to say, you're fearless.
Emily: I am so not fearless.
Paige: [shouts] You came out!
Emily: [standing up] I didn't come out of the closet, I fell out, on my face [pauses]. But I'm out, and whatever else happens, I don't have to worry about it any more.
Paige: If I say it out loud, if I say "I'm gay", the whole world is gonna change.
Emily: [nods] Yeah, it will.
[Paige sighs and then walks away to sit on Emily's window seat, where Emily sits next to her]
Emily: You wanna hear something funny?
Paige: I would love to hear something funny.
Emily: When I was trying to talk myself into being interested in boys, I would look for guys like you.

Emily and Paige

Paige: Like me how
Emily: The kind that would pull me up on stage, and get me to sing, coz I would never do that on my own.
[Paige smiles, they kiss]

Glee

Kurt and Blaine

Kurt Hummel comes out to his dad as gay.
In the first season episode 'Preggers' Kurt joins the (American) football team. His dad Burt tells him that he was really proud of him and that he wishes his mom had still been around to see it. As he is walking out of Kurt's room, Kurt stops him.
Kurt: Dad, I have something that I wanna say. I'm glad you're proud of me, but I don't want to lie any more. Being a part of the Glee club and football has really shown me I can be anything. And, what I am is... I'm gay.
Burt: I know.
Kurt: Really?
Burt: I've known since you were 3. All you wanted for your birthday was a pair of sensible heels. I guess I'm not totally in love with the idea. But, if that's who you are... what am I going to do about it? And I love you just as much. Okay? [they hug]. Thanks for telling me Kurt.

Santana Lopez comes out to herself and Brittany Pierce as a lesbian.
In the second season episode 'Sexy', Santana asks Brittany if they can talk after they performed 'Landslide' with Ms Holliday in Glee Club.
Brittany: But we never do that.
Santana: I know, but I wanted to thank you for performing that song with me in Glee club.
Brittany: Yeah.
Santana: Coz it made me do a lot of thinking. What it made me realize is why I'm such a bitch all the time. I'm a bitch because I'm angry. I'm angry because I have all of these feelings, feelings for you that I'm afraid of dealing with. Because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences. Brittany I can't go to an Indigo Girls concert, I just can't.
Brittany: I can understand that.
Santana: Do you understand what I'm trying to say here?
Brittany: [shaking her head] No, not really. (Vicky: Me neither...)
Santana: I want to be with you. But I'm afraid of the talks and the looks and you know what happened to Kurt in this school.
Brittany: Honey, if anybody were to ever make fun of you, you would either kick their ass or slash them with your vicious, vicious words. [Santana looks down, starts crying]
Santana: Yeah, I know, but... I'm so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back. Still I have to accept that... I love you. I love *you* and I don't want to be with Sam, or Finn or any of those other guys, I just want you.

Brittany Pierce comes out as bi to Kurt Hummel, kind of.
Brittany had some coming out of her own to do, in the third season episode 'I am Unicorn' after Kurt tells her that he has embraced his inner unicorn and asks her to come round to start working on his campaign strategy for running for class president, she says:
Brittany: I can't, Santana and I are going to be working on campaign posters. (Vicky: so *that's* what they're calling it theses days, is it? Sorry...)
Kurt: Oh, but I already have them.

Santana comforts Brittany

Brittany: For *my* campaign. I decided to run too. [Kurt looks shocked]. Coz, you know, the last 6 senior year class presidents, they've all been guys and look where that's got us. You know, teetering on a double dip recession (Vicky: yes that has everything to do with the class presidents of McKinley High). Besides, I'm also a unicorn. Maybe a bicorn. Either way, I'm starting to believe in my own magic. (Vicky: Thanks to Santana, yayyyy). Good luck Kurt, I'll see you at the debate.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Willow and Tara

Willow Rosenberg comes out as loving Tara* to Buffy Summers
During the Season 4 episode 'New Moon Rising', Buffy comes back to the dorm she shares with Willow after spending the night at Riley's. She finds out Oz (a werewolf who she'd been with since Season 2 who had left earlier in Season 4) spent the night.

Buffy: Wait, last night was a wolf moon, right?
Willow: Yep.
Buffy: Either you're about to tell me something really kinky or...
Willow: No kink. He didn't change, Buffy. He said he was going to find a cure and he did, in Tibet.
Buffy: Oh my God, I can't believe it. [Looks at a rather despondent Willow] OK, I'm all with the woo hoo here and you're not.
Willow: Yeah, there's woo and hoo but there's "uh oh" and "why now?" and it's complicated.
Buffy: Why complicated?
Willow: It's complicated because of Tara.

Buffy: You mean Tara has a crush on Oz? No, you... [suddenly realises what Willow meant] Oh! Oh... Erm, well, that's great, I mean I think Tara's a really great girl, Will.

Willow: She is and there's something between us. It-it wasn't something I was looking for. It's just powerful. And it's totally different from what Oz and I have.
Buffy: Well, there you go. I mean, you have to... you have to follow your heart Will, and that's important Will.
Willow: Why do you keep saying my name like that?
Buffy: Like what, Will?
Willow: [Sits up] Are you freaked?
Buffy: What? No. [Realises she kind of is, but gets over it]. No, absolutely no to that question. I'm glad you told me.

Desperate Housewives

Andrew and Bree

Andrew Van de Camp comes out to Reverend Sikes, as bisexual.
Andrew gets sent to camp by his mom, but is pulled out again after Andrew tells her he's gay. During 'Live Alone & Like It' in a panic, Bree invites her reverend to dinner to talk some sense into him. When talking privately later, Andrew reveals to the reverend that had been a lie and that wasn't gay.
Andrew: Look, I love vanilla ice cream, okay? But every now and then I’m probably gonna be in the mood for chocolate.
AfterElton includes a piece about his coming out here.

Please leave your favourite coming out quotes or scenes in the comments, or just generally comment about the post, if you feel the need. ;-).

*I refuse to say Willow came out as a lesbian, because despite how the writers chose to label her during and after her relationship with Tara, I think it'd have been more accurate to describe her as a bisexual as she truly loved both Xander and Oz from seasons 1 to 4, those weren't gay denial relationships. There's an article on AfterEllen which puts it better than I could hope to (on the second page).
Note: For those who noticed: when quoting from American TV, I deliberately used US English, during my own commentary, I used UK English.

30 Days of TV bisexuality buffy the vampire slayer Desperate Housewives Glee Pretty Little Liars sexuality Skins tv

Day 24 – Best quote(s)

Emily and Naomi

Emily and Maya

Emily and Paige

Paige: Like me how
Emily: The kind that would pull me up on stage, and get me to sing, coz I would never do that on my own.
[Paige smiles, they kiss]

Glee

Kurt and Blaine

Santana comforts Brittany

Willow and Tara

Buffy: You mean Tara has a crush on Oz? No, you... [suddenly realises what Willow meant] Oh! Oh... Erm, well, that's great, I mean I think Tara's a really great girl, Will.

Desperate Housewives

Andrew and Bree

bisexuality sexuality

National Coming Out Day

Happy National Coming Out Day everyone! For those who don't know what it is, here's the Human Rights Campaign page.As I said in my last post, I'm bisexual. Even if I wasn't though, LGBT equality is still so so important, as no one should feel in fear o...

bisexuality sexuality

National Coming Out Day

Big Brother (UK) bisexuality Bones buffy the vampire slayer Glee sexuality Warehouse 13

Coming to terms with my sexuality – twice

This post was inspired by a conversation I had last night with a Twitter friend who I started speaking to about Pretty Little Liars and Glee.

For those who don't know me, I'm an out bisexual woman. At least I am now. When I was 14 I knew I was interested in girls because I had the hugest crush on one of my best friends from secondary school. There was also Anna Nolan in the first series of Big Brother who was an inspiration.

I just didn't know if I liked exclusively women. Because there was also Xander in Buffy and Brad Pitt. I inched out of the closet after telling 3 of my friends I thought I was bi.

When I was 16 two things were going in my life:

I ever so slightly illegally started going clubbing in my local gay scene.
I started going to Alpha because quite a few of the members of my family had died recently so I sought out meaning in life.

In the gay scene I came across some quite derogatory remarks about bisexuals: they were greedy, they were confused, they couldn't be faithful or that they were just "in a phase". Suffice to say I didn't want to be seen as any of these things. However, I still had a massive crush on Brad Pitt which I couldn't just shrug off as me clinging to normality. Ironically it was at Alpha that in a conversation with one of my best friends at the time that I decided I was a lesbian with just one exception.

As it happened, the college's Christian Union invited speakers to the cafeteria one day. One question and answer stands out in my mind to this day:

Q: What does Christianity say about gay people?
A: There's only one cure to homosexuality and that's through Jesus Christ.

From this moment I knew I couldn't be a part of a religion who thought that homosexuality was something to be "cured". I was so proud of the fact that whereas most people going through Alpha seem to go from being agnostics to Christians I went from being agnostic to being an atheist. That's not my attitude about religion any more, as I've realised that although there are some stick-in-the-muds, the people who practice it can be as open and welcoming to gay people as atheists can. I am also back to being an agnostic (but that's a whole other story).

So, I started coming out to all my friends and my mother as a lesbian and it all went pretty well for about a year. I then kinda accidentally started making out with guys every now and then. When one of these guys was a friend of mine I ended up terribly confused again about my sexuality for the first time in two years. I really *liked* him but he was man shaped so, er, why would that be true. At that point I could have taken one of two paths, go for it with my friend (who was being terribly understanding considering) or swear off men completely. I chose the latter option. I was a lesbian, I'd decided that when I was 16 and anything else was just unacceptable.

A few months later I went to uni. I made out with a few girls in my first year but was never anything serious. I was quite active within the uni's LGB association [as it was at the time]. I was out as a lesbian but I still didn't make a secret of my attraction to Brad Pitt.

Despite my insistence to both myself and everyone around me that I was a lesbian this didn't stop crushes on a few guys from uni getting through.

Thanks to the relative [in comparison to my home town] acceptance of bisexuals within the LGB I slowly came to accept that it was OK to like both. Over the year, I went to the cinema with my uni friends a lot. One of these films was Troy. All my friends joked beforehand about how I'd stop them talking when Brad Pitt was on the screen (normally I'd be commenting with the rest of them). However, at the end, it wasn't Brad Pitt I was talking about, it was Eric Bana. One of my more observant friends noticed that this was a man who wasn't Brad. It was in May that I finally decided to tell people that I liked the men too. At first it was just my uni friends, who were all very supportive; I couldn't handle my mother getting all excited that I might bear her grandchildren after all. At the age of 19 I'd finally come to terms with my true sexuality.

I know it may seem silly that it was liking men that I seemed to have so much trouble accepting, but the fact was there weren't any positive bisexual role models in media to counteract the image of bisexuality that I got from my home town's scene. The only female characters who I saw on the screen at the time who were interested in men and women were of the depraved bisexual trope. Hardly people to look up to.

It's much better now, there is Angela from Bones, who although is now married to a man has had loving relationships with women in the past. Here, Heather Hogan praises Bones creator's crafting of the character. There are also Myka and HG from Warehouse 13, although the creative team don't seem to want to admit it. Finally but not least, of course, there is Brittany from Glee whose sexuality I praised in my last post.

So, yes, had these characters been around 10 years ago, maybe I wouldn't have taken those three extra years coming to terms with my own sexuality. Who knows?

Big Brother (UK) bisexuality Bones buffy the vampire slayer Glee sexuality Warehouse 13

Coming to terms with my sexuality – twice

This post was inspired by a conversation I had last night with a Twitter friend who I started speaking to about Pretty Little Liars and Glee.

I ever so slightly illegally started going clubbing in my local gay scene.
I started going to Alpha because quite a few of the members of my family had died recently so I sought out meaning in life.

As it happened, the college's Christian Union invited speakers to the cafeteria one day. One question and answer stands out in my mind to this day:

Q: What does Christianity say about gay people?
A: There's only one cure to homosexuality and that's through Jesus Christ.

30 Days of TV bisexuality buffy the vampire slayer Glee Pretty Little Liars RIzzoli and Isles sexuality tv Warehouse 13

Day 21 – Favourite ship

I've been shipping since before I knew shipping was a thing. When I started watching Buffy I wanted for ages for Xander to wake up and see what was right in front of him - Willow. Well, that was until Oz turned up and swept her off her feet, and then it was Tara... Oh damn it, I must have just been a Willow shipper .

Anyway, my favourite ship (with steep competition from Emily and Maya in Pretty Little Liars, HG and Myka in Warehouse 13 and Rizzoli and Isles), if you hadn't guessed already, are these two lovely ladies:

Santana started off as Quinn's bitchy sidekick and Puck's one time girlfriend. Brittany was the ditzy blonde in the cheerios who was there for comic relief. However, from these humble beginnings Naya and Heather crafted much bigger roles for themselves. This was thanks to their antics in the background early in season 1. They spent most of their time sitting together, so to make a joke of this, the producers decided to throw in a line about the characters sleeping together in the middle of a conversation about Rachel knowing that Puck was the father of Quinn's yet to be born baby.

This was supposed to be a one off, a throwaway joke that was never to be touched upon again. However, from here the good ship Brittana set sail. Before this there had been suspicions that they were together with moments like this in their very first song together:

brittany santana glee I Say a Little Prayer

However, this was the first time the subtext between the two had become maintext. Thanks to the fans' reactions, the producers woke up to what had been in front of them for the whole time and Santana, after initially telling Britt that she was just with her because Puck was in prison at the time, finally admitted she loved her in one of the most touching moments of the second season [script and commentary taken from Christie Keith's recap of Sexy on AfterEllen]:

Santana approaches Brittany at her locker, and says, "Can we talk?"

"But we never do that," Brittany says.

"I know," Santana says, looking so soft and sad I barely know it's her. "But I wanted to thank you for singing that song with me in Glee Club."

"Yeah…"

"'Cause it made me do a lot of thinking. What I realized…" she takes a deep breath… "What I realized is why I'm such a bitch all the time. I'm a bitch because I'm angry. Because I have all of these feelings. Feelings for you, that I'm afraid of dealing with, because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences." A football player walks by, and Santana waits until he's past to go on. "And Brittany… I can't go to an Indigo Girls concert. I just can't."

"I understand that."

Santana looks at her. "Do you understand what I'm trying to say here?"

She reluctantly shakes her head. "Not really."

"I want to be with you. But I'm afraid of the talks and the looks. I mean, you know what happened to Kurt at this school."

Brittany looks surprised. "But honey, if anybody were to ever make fun of you, you would either kick their ass or slash them with your vicious, vicious words."

Santana starts to cry. "Yeah, I know, but I'm so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back. Still, I have to accept that I love you. I love you. And I don't want to be with Sam or Finn or any of those other guys. I just want you. Please say you love me back. Please."

Brittany is gazing at her, so moved. "Of course I love you, I do. And I would totally be with you if it weren't for Artie."

Santana is shocked. "Artie?"

"I love him, too. I don't want to hurt him. It's not right. I can't break up with him."

And now Santana is shocked and furious. "Of course you can. He's just a stupid boy." And so much is crystal clear now.

Brittany looks upset. "But it wouldn't be right. Santana, you have to know if Artie and I were to ever break up and I'm lucky enough that you're still single…"

Brittany tries to take Santana's hand, and Santana pulls it way, saying, "Don't."

Brittany goes on. "I am so yours. Proudly so."

"Yeah, wow," Santana hisses. "Whoever thought that being 'fluid' meant that you could be so stuck."

Brittany says, "I'm sorry," and reaches for Santana, who says, "Don't. Get off me," and walks off, leaving Brittany standing despondent in the hall.

Wow, just wow. I know how much I moaned about season 2 of Glee, but when it got it right it was amazing. It was heartbreaking stuff and it's also helped young girls coming to terms with their sexuality, so it's incredibly important.

On a personal note, I love this scene for its positive portrayal of bisexuality. Which, considering the source, is amazing. When Glee overtly tried to tackle the "bi" issue before, it did it so clumsily and was bordering on offensive. Here we have a girl [Britt] who openly admits she loves another but doesn't want to leave her existing relationship with a man to be with her because as far as she's concerned, Artie has done nothing to deserve [actually, he'd done plenty, but I'll be quiet]. Brittany is not a confused, greedy or predatory individual, she's simply a person who loves people regardless of their gender. If I had had this Glee episode when I was 16, maybe I wouldn't have spent 3 years denying I had any interest in men [more on this in another post]. So, yes, thank you so so much.

To conclude the post, I shall point you to a twitter friend of mine's Glee recaps as she does Brittana much more justice than I do and leave you with some wonderful, wonderful screencaps [credits in the titles]:

brittany and santana making out during duets

30 Days of TV bisexuality buffy the vampire slayer Glee Pretty Little Liars RIzzoli and Isles sexuality tv Warehouse 13

Day 21 – Favourite ship

Santana approaches Brittany at her locker, and says, "Can we talk?"

"But we never do that," Brittany says.

"I know," Santana says, looking so soft and sad I barely know it's her. "But I wanted to thank you for singing that song with me in Glee Club."

"Yeah…"

"'Cause it made me do a lot of thinking. What I realized…" she takes a deep breath… "What I realized is why I'm such a bitch all the time. I'm a bitch because I'm angry. Because I have all of these feelings. Feelings for you, that I'm afraid of dealing with, because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences." A football player walks by, and Santana waits until he's past to go on. "And Brittany… I can't go to an Indigo Girls concert. I just can't."

"I understand that."

Santana looks at her. "Do you understand what I'm trying to say here?"

She reluctantly shakes her head. "Not really."

"I want to be with you. But I'm afraid of the talks and the looks. I mean, you know what happened to Kurt at this school."

Brittany looks surprised. "But honey, if anybody were to ever make fun of you, you would either kick their ass or slash them with your vicious, vicious words."

Santana starts to cry. "Yeah, I know, but I'm so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back. Still, I have to accept that I love you. I love you. And I don't want to be with Sam or Finn or any of those other guys. I just want you. Please say you love me back. Please."

Brittany is gazing at her, so moved. "Of course I love you, I do. And I would totally be with you if it weren't for Artie."

Santana is shocked. "Artie?"

"I love him, too. I don't want to hurt him. It's not right. I can't break up with him."

And now Santana is shocked and furious. "Of course you can. He's just a stupid boy." And so much is crystal clear now.

Brittany looks upset. "But it wouldn't be right. Santana, you have to know if Artie and I were to ever break up and I'm lucky enough that you're still single…"

Brittany tries to take Santana's hand, and Santana pulls it way, saying, "Don't."

Brittany goes on. "I am so yours. Proudly so."

"Yeah, wow," Santana hisses. "Whoever thought that being 'fluid' meant that you could be so stuck."

Brittany says, "I'm sorry," and reaches for Santana, who says, "Don't. Get off me," and walks off, leaving Brittany standing despondent in the hall.

analysis bisexuality criticism discrimination evidence based policy politics

A critique of the coverage following the lifting of the lifetime ban on blood donations from men who have had sex with men

For those of you who don't already know, last week it was announced there would no longer be a lifetime ban on men who have had oral or anal sex with men (MSM) giving blood. Men will now be able to give blood a year after they last had sex with another man.

First of all: I welcome this change. In 2004 I collected signatures to ask the National Blood Service to review their policies as I felt at the time it was unnecessarily discriminatory. Since then however, I have changed my mind somewhat. Being able to give blood shouldn't about the feelings of the donors but about the health of those who receive the blood. MSM make up a significant proportion of those living with HIV, when compared to the proportion of the total population who are MSM. Because of this, I can understand why evidence had to be looked at before lifting the lifetime ban. If the recent study had found that the lifetime ban had remained in place in order to secure the blood supply, I would have supported this as long as the evidence had supported this. I do think that there is room for improvement though. As it stands now, a gay man in a committed relationship will still not be able to give blood, even if both partners have been faithful for the last 12 months. I'd be in favour of a further change which only ban those who have had a new partner in the last 12 months. However, if there isn't any evidence to support this change, then I can accept that it can't be made. Chris Ward, a writer for Lib Dem Voice appears to share my views and writes about them more eloquently here. This doesn't mean I think that all gay men are inherently at risk from being infected with HIV. In fact, I think it's nonsensical that a committed gay couple still can't give blood whereas a man or a woman who sleeps with a different partner of the opposite sex each week will be able to.

The coverage for this change has been mixed. Even the best article about it have been misleading, at least as far as the headline goes:

From Pink News: One-year blood donation deferral for UK gay men
The headline implies the new policy only applies to those men who identify as gay. However, it doesn't. Thanks to this change, men who now identify as straight who experimented in his youth will now be able to give blood. Thankfully though it goes on to rectify this in the very first paragraph:

The Department of Health has announced it will remove the lifetime blood donation ban on any man who has ever had gay sex.

I can forgive the headline because the alternative would have been almost as long winded as my own.

However, unsurprisingly, the coverage from The Mail and the Telegraph hasn't been as good. The problems with The Mail's coverage starts with the laughable headline:

Lifetime blood donor ban for gay men lifted - as long as they haven't had sex for a year

The lifetime blood donor ban for MSM has been lifted and replaced with a one-year deferral. To try and say that a lifetime ban would still be in place if the man has had sex in the past year is simply wrong and logically non-sensical. Not only that, this rule wouldn't stop bisexual men who have had sex with women in the past year. Also, gay men occasionally have sex with women. It's not the norm but it happens. Those men who identify as gay who for some reason have only had sex with a woman or women in the past year would not be banned under the new rules.

The writer just refused to qualify throughout the article that the lifetime ban didn't just impact gay and bisexual men but also men and those who may have experimented in their youth and those who didn't have much choice in the matter. The Mail also seems to break basic rules of writing articles, saying that LGB organisations welcome the changes in the paragraph directly before this one:

Deborah Jack, chief executive of the National AIDS Trust, said: 'The lifetime ban on gay men donating blood has been at the centre of much controversy and debate in recent years, particularly as it became clear that this rule and current science were completely out of sync."

The NAT isn't an LGBT rights' organisation, it never has been. From its 'about us' page:

NAT is the UK's leading charity dedicated to transforming society's response to HIV. We provide fresh thinking, expertise and practical resources. We champion the rights of people living with HIV and campaign for change.

A better quote to follow the previous paragraph would have been from Stonewall's statement, which they have very helpfully provided on their website. They also make a massive clanger:

Most new HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) infections in the UK still result from men having sex with men.

In the latest statistics I can find (from 2010) MSM only made up 39% of those newly diagnosed with HIV. But research, what's that Mail?

I didn't think it'd be possible for anyone to outdo The Mail's bad journalism but somehow on this occasion, the Telegraph rose to the challenge.

Even the headline is an amazing example of scaremongering:

Gay men can give blood after discrimination claims

Coming from The Telegraph one instantly gets the impression the paper thinks this is "a bad thing" which must be stopped. It seems to suggest the reason why the lifetime ban has been lifted because of pesky homosexuals demanding their pint of blood to be sucked from their arteries. This could not be further from the truth if it tried. Yes, some gay men have been campaigning for the blood ban to be re-examined, including Peter Tatchell (more on him later). However, what lead to the change was a study of empirical evidence by The Advisory Committee on the Safety of Blood, Tissues and Organs (SABTO) which concluded there would be no higher risk of people acquiring HIV and other blood borne viruses with a one year deferral when compared to a lifetime ban. They also included this lovely paragraph:

It is not thought that the change will result in large numbers of new donors, however, since most homosexual men are sexually active.

Yeah, those pesky homosexual men, they're all at it, unlike the... er... rest of humanity? Unlike in The Mail's article, bisexual men aren't even mentioned here.

I haven't found some of the response from gay rights' campaigners to be altogether helpful either. For instance Peter Tatchell wrote in the Guardian last Friday to say that the changes should go further:

Most gay and bisexual men do not have HIV and will never have HIV. If they always have safe sex with a condom, have only one partner and test HIV negative, their blood is safe to donate.

I completely agree with him here, but what SABTO needs is data to prove this, not rhetoric. So what I think would be more helpful would be to ask for the next study to examine allowing those in committed relationships to give blood, rather than insisting the change must happen regardless.

In Stonewall's statement, their CEO Ben Summerskill is quoted as saying:

To retain a blanket ban on any man who has had sex with another man in the last year, even if he has only had oral sex, remains disproportionate on the basis of available evidence.

However, if you actually read SABTO's report which was published by the Department of Health it says:

The risk with oral sex is very low but HIV transmission does occur, however, given the lack of data it is difficult to make summary estimates for the transmission risk through oral sex.

So according to the official report, no such data relating to oral sex exists. However, the rest of the statement seems quite sensible:

Stonewall will continue to push for a donation system based on the real risks a potential donor poses. People wanting to donate blood should be asked similar questions - irrespective of their sexual orientation - that accurately assess their level of risk of infection.

I'd welcome this, although the donor questionnaire might get a bit busy. Perhaps another study is required? (I perhaps should have mentioned I'm an analyst at heart ;-))

I never thought I'd say this: congratulations to the coalition for coming to a good decision. You're not there yet, but maybe as more evidence becomes available you'll get there eventually.