Glee – BiBloggers

Glee article in recent BCN magazine

I recently had an article published on the Bi Community News website, so I thought I'd share it on my blog as well. It was written before Glee returned to Sky for its fourth season.

Ask most fans of Glee about its representation of bisexuality and very often one episode gets brought up: Blame it on the Alcohol. In their infinite wisdom, the creators of Glee decided it'd be a great idea to take an established gay character, get him drunk and have him snog a girl, sober up, decide to date her for a bit, doubt his sexuality and then after kissing her when sober go back to being gay again. All in the space of one episode.

Lovely.

However, from the second episode of Glee there has been positive representation of bisexuality that the creators have at times seemed not to want you to know about and her name is Brittany S. Pierce.

Ever since Brittany debuted on screen as a bit part during Showmance, she's been unashamedly eyeing up boys (including Mike who she's rumoured to have dated in the first season) and girls (especially but not exclusively Santana, who she’s now in a long distance relationship with) alike.

There were only a couple of lines delivered by Brittany in the first season which explored her sexuality:

After Santana said "Sex is not dating", Brittany agreed, saying "If it were, Santana and I would be dating." This had been meant to be delivered as a joke, but after saying that the two of them exchanged awkward glances.
During Bad Reputation, she wonders why she’s only fourth in the Glist (a ranking of sexual depravity of the members of New Directions) when "I've made out with, like, everyone in this school. Girls, boys, Mr Kinney the janitor."

In the second season when Brittany's actress, Heather Morris, was taken on as a regular cast member the show started exploring her sexuality. After a make out session with Santana during Duets, Brittany suggests they sing Melissa Etheridge's 'Come to My Window' for that week’s assignment for Glee. As Santana was still a closet lesbian at this point, she refused, but the fact Brittany even asked shows she was comfortable singing a romantic song to another woman in front of the rest of the Glee club.

When Santana finally admits she loves Brittany during Sexy, Britt is dating Artie. Although Brittany freely admits she loves Santana back, as she was already with someone else, she says she can’t break up with him because she loves him too and it "wouldn't be fair to him". This successfully challenges the stereotype that bisexuals can’t commit to any one person.

At the time, although it was pretty obvious to me that Brittany was already comfortable with loving people regardless of their gender, the writers themselves couldn't seem to decide what to label her. After giving Santana a 'Lebanese' T-shirt, she asks if the reason Santana’s upset with her is because she’s a lesbian and Brittany thinks she’s bi-curious (pause for groan).

Since then, however, the writers have given Brittany lines to show quite how open she is about her own sexuality:

During I Am Unicorn, when talking to Kurt about her running as a candidate for class president, she says she realised she was a unicorn too [with Santana's help!], and followed this with "maybe a bicorn".
During The Spanish Teacher, she joked that she was "bilingual".
In Props, after Santana told a teacher in the teachers’ lounge that they were both gay, Brittany pointed out that she wasn't "totally gay" (pause for another groan), but that this didn't make a huge difference to Santana’s point.

I’ll admit that the lines they’re getting Brittany to deliver aren't always perfect. However, Brittany is now in a long term relationship with a girl, Santana, but the show isn't afraid to point out that she herself isn't gay. In similar situations, other TV series have chosen to identify the character as gay, regardless of who their past relationships were with:

In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Willow had a committed and long term relationship with Oz and also was in love with Xander. However, during and after her relationship with Tara, she said she was “gay now”.
Hollyoaks is a repeat offender:
- When Sarah Barnes entered into a relationship with Lydia, despite the number of men she’d been with before, she proclaimed to everyone that she was a lesbian.
- Ste Hay was in a relationship with Amy Barnes for years and they had children together but after he started sleeping with Brendan, he apparently decided to come out as gay.

At the end of season three, it was revealed Brittany will be retaking senior year whereas her girlfriend has graduated. It’s not clear where Santana will move on to but it’ll be interesting to see how Glee handles a long distance relationship between the two of them and whether they stay together or not.

Brittany Pierce: a positive portrayal of teen bisexuality

bisexuality Glee tv

Brittany Pierce: a positive portrayal of teen bisexuality

To start off with, one thing needs to be said: Brittany Pierce in Glee is an out and proud bisexual. Not convinced? OK, let's hear it from her:

During I Am Unicorn, when talking to Kurt about her running as a candidate for class president, she says she realised she was a unicorn too (with Santana's help!), and followed this with "maybe a bicorn".
During The Spanish Teacher, she joked that she was "bilingual".
In Props, after Santana told a teacher in the teachers' lounge that they were both gay, Brittany pointed out that she was bi, but that this didn't make a huge difference to Santana's point.

Right, on to why I think Brittany is one of the most positive portrayals of bisexuality on TV. First of all, the show acknowledges she's bi even though she's currently in long term a relationship with someone of the same sex (Santana). Contrast this with Willow, who despite having been in a serious relationship with Oz from season 2 until the start of season 4 of Buffy, was labelled as gay during and after her relationship with Tara. Also contrast this with Marissa Cooper of The OC, who was labelled as gay when she was in a relationship with Alex, but went back to being straight when Alex left.

Second of all, she's never had a problem with her own sexuality and she's also been very open about it. There hasn't been any big coming out moment for her because she didn't hide it in the first place:

During Bad Reputation, after Artie finds her in the choir room after she "forgot how to leave", she bemoans being so low on the Glist despite the fact she's made out with everyone, clarifying she meant with girls as well as boys.
During Born This Way, after Santana says Brittany doesn't love her back, Brittany retorts "I do love you, clearly you don't love you as much as I do or you'd put this shirt on and you'd dance with me". This indicates Brittany has no qualms about being seen to dance romantically with a girl (a girl declaring her sexuality, no less).
During Rumours, after Santana sings 'Songbird' to her, Brittany offers to "go first", by asking Santana to go to the prom with her on Fondue For Two.

Now, since I wrote a post about Santana's sexuality and how it makes the most sense for her to be a lesbian, I have had a few objections to my stating Britt is a good portrayal of a bisexual, I will address these in turn.

Her sexuality is associated with her stupidity.
I don't know where this comes from because when it comes to her personal relationship with Santana Brittany has often been very smart:
- In Born This Way Brittany makes Santana a 'Lebanese' T-shirt because she knew that Santana wouldn't be strong enough to do it herself.
- During New York, when Santana said to Brittany "you're my best friend", she replied "I do too", indicating Brittany knew Santana actually meant "I love you".
- During Mash Off, she's able to calm down Santana when she was on the warpath by singing "stop the violence".
- In Saturday Night Glee-ver when Santana says she wants be famous by any means necessary Brittany shows her exactly what that means: by releasing a sex tape and fetching her a testicle to chew on.
Her character plays into the stereotype of bisexuals being sluts.
Yes, Brittany has slept with a lot of people, but then so has Santana. It's a phase which some teenagers go through and then get over. She hasn't slept with anyone other than Artie or Santana since early on in season 2, so I'd say she's grown out of it.
There's not been a big story about her sexuality.
She's never denied her sexuality, so that rules out a big coming out story. If anyone had offered to straighten her out like they did Santana then she'd have brushed it off. This also wouldn't have made it a big story. So I don't really know how they'd make a big story centred around her sexuality.

Another positive thing about the portrayal of Brittany's sexuality is that during Sexy, when Brittany realised that Santana was in love with her, and therefore asking for a serious commitment, she decided she couldn't continue seeing Artie and Santana at the same time. Because of this, she committed herself to Artie as she was already in a relationship with him, therefore belying the stereotype that bisexuals can't commit. Since breaking up with Artie at the end of season 2, she is now in a relationship with Santana

Now that Brittany will be retaking senior year without Santana around, I'd be interested to see how the other students interact with her. It's possible that without Santana to scare them off, Brittany may start to get bullied, and it'd be interesting to see how she handles this, particularly if it includes jibes about her sexuality.

bisexuality Glee tv

Brittany Pierce: a positive portrayal of teen bisexuality

To start off with, one thing needs to be said: Brittany Pierce in Glee is an out and proud bisexual. Not convinced? OK, let's hear it from her:

During I Am Unicorn, when talking to Kurt about her running as a candidate for class president, she says she realised she was a unicorn too (with Santana's help!), and followed this with "maybe a bicorn".
During The Spanish Teacher, she joked that she was "bilingual".
In Props, after Santana told a teacher in the teachers' lounge that they were both gay, Brittany pointed out that she was bi, but that this didn't make a huge difference to Santana's point.

During Bad Reputation, after Artie finds her in the choir room after she "forgot how to leave", she bemoans being so low on the Glist despite the fact she's made out with everyone, clarifying she meant with girls as well as boys.
During Born This Way, after Santana says Brittany doesn't love her back, Brittany retorts "I do love you, clearly you don't love you as much as I do or you'd put this shirt on and you'd dance with me". This indicates Brittany has no qualms about being seen to dance romantically with a girl (a girl declaring her sexuality, no less).
During Rumours, after Santana sings 'Songbird' to her, Brittany offers to "go first", by asking Santana to go to the prom with her on Fondue For Two.

Her sexuality is associated with her stupidity.
I don't know where this comes from because when it comes to her personal relationship with Santana Brittany has often been very smart:
- In Born This Way Brittany makes Santana a 'Lebanese' T-shirt because she knew that Santana wouldn't be strong enough to do it herself.
- During New York, when Santana said to Brittany "you're my best friend", she replied "I do too", indicating Brittany knew Santana actually meant "I love you".
- During Mash Off, she's able to calm down Santana when she was on the warpath by singing "stop the violence".
- In Saturday Night Glee-ver when Santana says she wants be famous by any means necessary Brittany shows her exactly what that means: by releasing a sex tape and fetching her a testicle to chew on.
Her character plays into the stereotype of bisexuals being sluts.
Yes, Brittany has slept with a lot of people, but then so has Santana. It's a phase which some teenagers go through and then get over. She hasn't slept with anyone other than Artie or Santana since early on in season 2, so I'd say she's grown out of it.
There's not been a big story about her sexuality.
She's never denied her sexuality, so that rules out a big coming out story. If anyone had offered to straighten her out like they did Santana then she'd have brushed it off. This also wouldn't have made it a big story. So I don't really know how they'd make a big story centred around her sexuality.

bi erasure bisexuality Glee still love the magazine though honest tv

The Wrong way to challenge Bi Erasure

The other day, BiCommunity News tweeted a link to a year old article about Santana's sexuality in Glee.

The gist of the article is that the writer is disappointed that Santana was getting labelled as a lesbian and not a bisexual because of her history with boys. A choice paragraph is as follows:

Even clueless Brittany tries to help Santana’s self-identify by making her a T-shirt that says “Lebanese” (oh how I want one of those, early birthday present anyone?). Now hang on one cotton-picking minute. It’s not the first or the last time that someone in the show alludes to Santana being a lesbian, but everything Santana has done and said so far screams bisexual. A bisexual girl who doesn’t like labels (welcome to the club), and is firmly in a closet, but most definitely bisexual.

Now I'll admit, bi erasure happens. As a bisexual woman, I hate it, because I'd like to see my identity reflected in the shows I watch. I didn't like it when Anya in Survivors was labelled as a lesbian by The Radio Times when she never called herself as that and I don't like it when soaps take a character who previously had long term relationships with the opposite sex have a relationship with someone of the same sex, and suddenly they're labelled as gay.

However, this isn't the case with Santana, the author correctly quotes Santana as not liking labels, but during the very same episode Brittany gave Santana the Lebanese T-shirt (Born This Way), Santana identified herself as a lesbian. Also, when Santana said she wasn't interested in labels (during Sexy), she was so far in denial that she couldn't even admit to herself that she was in love with Brittany.

It's true that Santana had had trysts with boys before she was with Brittany, but they never seemed to matter to her like Brittany did and still does. And I don't mean just that she wasn't in love with them, she didn't seem that in to the sex, having looked bored after sleeping with Finn (The Power of Madonna) and only wanting to be with Puck if he could get her things (breaking up with him for not having a good enough credit rating in Acafellas).

Again in Sexy, after Brittany tells her she can't break up with Artie, Santana retorts:

Of course you can. He's just a stupid boy.

Not exactly words I'd expect to hear from a bisexual girl!

In fact, for me, this is the conversation that cemented in my mind that Santana is a lesbian but Brittany is a bisexual, because Brittany loved Artie at the time and didn't want to hurt him and Santana didn't care about any of the boys she'd been with. If you want to read more of the coming out speech from Santana, I posted it here.

Putting aside the author's presumption to decide Santana's sexuality for her, what disappoints me most is the fact that she didn't write about what an amazing character Brittany is and what a positive portrayal of a bisexual teen we have in her. By doing so, it seems to engage in bi erasure which is apparently what the author was railing against (I will put this right in a later post as I think the portrayal of Britt deserves its own post).

By complaining that a lesbian character was labelled as a lesbian and citing this as an example of bi erasure the author has managed to weaken the whole argument for challenging bi erasure, which is a very real and important issue. Because of this, I'm disappointed the article was published in the first place, and even more disappointed that whoever handles the Twitter account for the magazine chose to tweet a link to it almost a year later, particularly as Santana has now publicly declared she's a lesbian.

bi erasure bisexuality Glee still love the magazine though honest tv

The Wrong way to challenge Bi Erasure

The other day, BiCommunity News tweeted a link to a year old article about Santana's sexuality in Glee.

The gist of the article is that the writer is disappointed that Santana was getting labelled as a lesbian and not a bisexual because of her history with boys. A choice paragraph is as follows:

Even clueless Brittany tries to help Santana’s self-identify by making her a T-shirt that says “Lebanese” (oh how I want one of those, early birthday present anyone?). Now hang on one cotton-picking minute. It’s not the first or the last time that someone in the show alludes to Santana being a lesbian, but everything Santana has done and said so far screams bisexual. A bisexual girl who doesn’t like labels (welcome to the club), and is firmly in a closet, but most definitely bisexual.

Again in Sexy, after Brittany tells her she can't break up with Artie, Santana retorts:

Of course you can. He's just a stupid boy.

Not exactly words I'd expect to hear from a bisexual girl!

30 Days of TV bisexuality buffy the vampire slayer Desperate Housewives Glee Pretty Little Liars sexuality Skins tv

Day 24 – Best quote(s)

I had planned on making to this a Buffy special, but then I heard news that a friend of mine came out to someone important in her life, so I decided instead to make this a coming out special as a gift to her. Before any pedants say anything, yes they're not quotes but more like whole scenes. To which I say - tough, go get your own blog. :-P.

So, here are the best ones I've seen, in no particular order...

Emily and Naomi

Skins
Emily Fitch comes out as a lesbian to her family, in the most stylish way possible.
Emily, who appears in Series 3 and 4 of Skins, comes home after spending the afternoon with Naomi, Katie is her twin sister.
Mrs Fitch: It looks like you've been roughed up.
Emily: It wasn't a boy.
Katie: There, you see.
Emily: It was a girl.
Mr Fitch: You've been fighting with a girl? That's not very lady like...
Emily: No, Dad, I've been making love to a girl.
Katie: You're such a liar, don't listen to her.
Emily: Her name's Naomi. She's rather beautiful, so I was nailing her.

Pretty Little Liars

Emily and Maya

Emily Fields comes out to her dad, Colonel Fields, as a lesbian.
During the episode, 'Moments Later' Emily is on the phone to Maya. Her dad comes in, asking what's troubling her.
Emily: I'm afraid of you and mom.
Clnl Fields: Why are you afraid of us?
Emily: Because I'm not who you think I am.
Clnl Fields: You're Emily Fields, you're my little girl, I'd know you anywhere. I've got a picture of you in my wallet.
Emily: I'm 8 years old in that picture, that's a different girl.
Clnl Fields: It's the same girl, I just need a new picture.
Emily: It's not that simple.
Clnl Fields: Emmy...
Emily: I'm... gay. I'm gay. [Colonel Fields sits down, Emily starts crying]

Paige McCullers comes out to Emily as a lesbian.
Some time after Maya is sent to Camp, and she breaks up with Emily by phone, Emily sparks up a friendship with Paige, who goes to Emily's after a date with Sean. Emily asks her how the date went.
Paige: Great, good. He's a nice guy. [Emily nods] Yeah, it went OK.
Emily: Good.
Paige: Yeah [she pauses]. 'Til he kissed me. He took me home and he kissed me good night... and... I don't know, the date, the whole night just felt phoney all of a sudden, like it wasn't me... It was someone I was watching, but not me... He went home and I texted you. [Emily looks down].
Emily: Sean's a nice guy, if he's interested in you as more than a friend you have to be honest with him.
Paige: You're saying I should dump him.
Emily: [shaking her head] I'm saying you shouldn't lead him on, you have to be honest.
Paige: [closing her eyes] That is so easy for you to say, you're fearless.
Emily: I am so not fearless.
Paige: [shouts] You came out!
Emily: [standing up] I didn't come out of the closet, I fell out, on my face [pauses]. But I'm out, and whatever else happens, I don't have to worry about it any more.
Paige: If I say it out loud, if I say "I'm gay", the whole world is gonna change.
Emily: [nods] Yeah, it will.
[Paige sighs and then walks away to sit on Emily's window seat, where Emily sits next to her]
Emily: You wanna hear something funny?
Paige: I would love to hear something funny.
Emily: When I was trying to talk myself into being interested in boys, I would look for guys like you.

Emily and Paige

Paige: Like me how
Emily: The kind that would pull me up on stage, and get me to sing, coz I would never do that on my own.
[Paige smiles, they kiss]

Glee

Kurt and Blaine

Kurt Hummel comes out to his dad as gay.
In the first season episode 'Preggers' Kurt joins the (American) football team. His dad Burt tells him that he was really proud of him and that he wishes his mom had still been around to see it. As he is walking out of Kurt's room, Kurt stops him.
Kurt: Dad, I have something that I wanna say. I'm glad you're proud of me, but I don't want to lie any more. Being a part of the Glee club and football has really shown me I can be anything. And, what I am is... I'm gay.
Burt: I know.
Kurt: Really?
Burt: I've known since you were 3. All you wanted for your birthday was a pair of sensible heels. I guess I'm not totally in love with the idea. But, if that's who you are... what am I going to do about it? And I love you just as much. Okay? [they hug]. Thanks for telling me Kurt.

Santana Lopez comes out to herself and Brittany Pierce as a lesbian.
In the second season episode 'Sexy', Santana asks Brittany if they can talk after they performed 'Landslide' with Ms Holliday in Glee Club.
Brittany: But we never do that.
Santana: I know, but I wanted to thank you for performing that song with me in Glee club.
Brittany: Yeah.
Santana: Coz it made me do a lot of thinking. What it made me realize is why I'm such a bitch all the time. I'm a bitch because I'm angry. I'm angry because I have all of these feelings, feelings for you that I'm afraid of dealing with. Because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences. Brittany I can't go to an Indigo Girls concert, I just can't.
Brittany: I can understand that.
Santana: Do you understand what I'm trying to say here?
Brittany: [shaking her head] No, not really. (Vicky: Me neither...)
Santana: I want to be with you. But I'm afraid of the talks and the looks and you know what happened to Kurt in this school.
Brittany: Honey, if anybody were to ever make fun of you, you would either kick their ass or slash them with your vicious, vicious words. [Santana looks down, starts crying]
Santana: Yeah, I know, but... I'm so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back. Still I have to accept that... I love you. I love *you* and I don't want to be with Sam, or Finn or any of those other guys, I just want you.

Brittany Pierce comes out as bi to Kurt Hummel, kind of.
Brittany had some coming out of her own to do, in the third season episode 'I am Unicorn' after Kurt tells her that he has embraced his inner unicorn and asks her to come round to start working on his campaign strategy for running for class president, she says:
Brittany: I can't, Santana and I are going to be working on campaign posters. (Vicky: so *that's* what they're calling it theses days, is it? Sorry...)
Kurt: Oh, but I already have them.

Santana comforts Brittany

Brittany: For *my* campaign. I decided to run too. [Kurt looks shocked]. Coz, you know, the last 6 senior year class presidents, they've all been guys and look where that's got us. You know, teetering on a double dip recession (Vicky: yes that has everything to do with the class presidents of McKinley High). Besides, I'm also a unicorn. Maybe a bicorn. Either way, I'm starting to believe in my own magic. (Vicky: Thanks to Santana, yayyyy). Good luck Kurt, I'll see you at the debate.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Willow and Tara

Willow Rosenberg comes out as loving Tara* to Buffy Summers
During the Season 4 episode 'New Moon Rising', Buffy comes back to the dorm she shares with Willow after spending the night at Riley's. She finds out Oz (a werewolf who she'd been with since Season 2 who had left earlier in Season 4) spent the night.

Buffy: Wait, last night was a wolf moon, right?
Willow: Yep.
Buffy: Either you're about to tell me something really kinky or...
Willow: No kink. He didn't change, Buffy. He said he was going to find a cure and he did, in Tibet.
Buffy: Oh my God, I can't believe it. [Looks at a rather despondent Willow] OK, I'm all with the woo hoo here and you're not.
Willow: Yeah, there's woo and hoo but there's "uh oh" and "why now?" and it's complicated.
Buffy: Why complicated?
Willow: It's complicated because of Tara.

Buffy: You mean Tara has a crush on Oz? No, you... [suddenly realises what Willow meant] Oh! Oh... Erm, well, that's great, I mean I think Tara's a really great girl, Will.

Willow: She is and there's something between us. It-it wasn't something I was looking for. It's just powerful. And it's totally different from what Oz and I have.
Buffy: Well, there you go. I mean, you have to... you have to follow your heart Will, and that's important Will.
Willow: Why do you keep saying my name like that?
Buffy: Like what, Will?
Willow: [Sits up] Are you freaked?
Buffy: What? No. [Realises she kind of is, but gets over it]. No, absolutely no to that question. I'm glad you told me.

Desperate Housewives

Andrew and Bree

Andrew Van de Camp comes out to Reverend Sikes, as bisexual.
Andrew gets sent to camp by his mom, but is pulled out again after Andrew tells her he's gay. During 'Live Alone & Like It' in a panic, Bree invites her reverend to dinner to talk some sense into him. When talking privately later, Andrew reveals to the reverend that had been a lie and that wasn't gay.
Andrew: Look, I love vanilla ice cream, okay? But every now and then I’m probably gonna be in the mood for chocolate.
AfterElton includes a piece about his coming out here.

Please leave your favourite coming out quotes or scenes in the comments, or just generally comment about the post, if you feel the need. ;-).

*I refuse to say Willow came out as a lesbian, because despite how the writers chose to label her during and after her relationship with Tara, I think it'd have been more accurate to describe her as a bisexual as she truly loved both Xander and Oz from seasons 1 to 4, those weren't gay denial relationships. There's an article on AfterEllen which puts it better than I could hope to (on the second page).
Note: For those who noticed: when quoting from American TV, I deliberately used US English, during my own commentary, I used UK English.

30 Days of TV bisexuality buffy the vampire slayer Desperate Housewives Glee Pretty Little Liars sexuality Skins tv

Day 24 – Best quote(s)

Emily and Naomi

Emily and Maya

Emily and Paige

Paige: Like me how
Emily: The kind that would pull me up on stage, and get me to sing, coz I would never do that on my own.
[Paige smiles, they kiss]

Glee

Kurt and Blaine

Santana comforts Brittany

Willow and Tara

Buffy: You mean Tara has a crush on Oz? No, you... [suddenly realises what Willow meant] Oh! Oh... Erm, well, that's great, I mean I think Tara's a really great girl, Will.

Desperate Housewives

Andrew and Bree

Coming to terms with my sexuality – twice

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Coming to terms with my sexuality – twice

This post was inspired by a conversation I had last night with a Twitter friend who I started speaking to about Pretty Little Liars and Glee.

For those who don't know me, I'm an out bisexual woman. At least I am now. When I was 14 I knew I was interested in girls because I had the hugest crush on one of my best friends from secondary school. There was also Anna Nolan in the first series of Big Brother who was an inspiration.

I just didn't know if I liked exclusively women. Because there was also Xander in Buffy and Brad Pitt. I inched out of the closet after telling 3 of my friends I thought I was bi.

When I was 16 two things were going in my life:

I ever so slightly illegally started going clubbing in my local gay scene.
I started going to Alpha because quite a few of the members of my family had died recently so I sought out meaning in life.

In the gay scene I came across some quite derogatory remarks about bisexuals: they were greedy, they were confused, they couldn't be faithful or that they were just "in a phase". Suffice to say I didn't want to be seen as any of these things. However, I still had a massive crush on Brad Pitt which I couldn't just shrug off as me clinging to normality. Ironically it was at Alpha that in a conversation with one of my best friends at the time that I decided I was a lesbian with just one exception.

As it happened, the college's Christian Union invited speakers to the cafeteria one day. One question and answer stands out in my mind to this day:

Q: What does Christianity say about gay people?
A: There's only one cure to homosexuality and that's through Jesus Christ.

From this moment I knew I couldn't be a part of a religion who thought that homosexuality was something to be "cured". I was so proud of the fact that whereas most people going through Alpha seem to go from being agnostics to Christians I went from being agnostic to being an atheist. That's not my attitude about religion any more, as I've realised that although there are some stick-in-the-muds, the people who practice it can be as open and welcoming to gay people as atheists can. I am also back to being an agnostic (but that's a whole other story).

So, I started coming out to all my friends and my mother as a lesbian and it all went pretty well for about a year. I then kinda accidentally started making out with guys every now and then. When one of these guys was a friend of mine I ended up terribly confused again about my sexuality for the first time in two years. I really *liked* him but he was man shaped so, er, why would that be true. At that point I could have taken one of two paths, go for it with my friend (who was being terribly understanding considering) or swear off men completely. I chose the latter option. I was a lesbian, I'd decided that when I was 16 and anything else was just unacceptable.

A few months later I went to uni. I made out with a few girls in my first year but was never anything serious. I was quite active within the uni's LGB association [as it was at the time]. I was out as a lesbian but I still didn't make a secret of my attraction to Brad Pitt.

Despite my insistence to both myself and everyone around me that I was a lesbian this didn't stop crushes on a few guys from uni getting through.

Thanks to the relative [in comparison to my home town] acceptance of bisexuals within the LGB I slowly came to accept that it was OK to like both. Over the year, I went to the cinema with my uni friends a lot. One of these films was Troy. All my friends joked beforehand about how I'd stop them talking when Brad Pitt was on the screen (normally I'd be commenting with the rest of them). However, at the end, it wasn't Brad Pitt I was talking about, it was Eric Bana. One of my more observant friends noticed that this was a man who wasn't Brad. It was in May that I finally decided to tell people that I liked the men too. At first it was just my uni friends, who were all very supportive; I couldn't handle my mother getting all excited that I might bear her grandchildren after all. At the age of 19 I'd finally come to terms with my true sexuality.

I know it may seem silly that it was liking men that I seemed to have so much trouble accepting, but the fact was there weren't any positive bisexual role models in media to counteract the image of bisexuality that I got from my home town's scene. The only female characters who I saw on the screen at the time who were interested in men and women were of the depraved bisexual trope. Hardly people to look up to.

It's much better now, there is Angela from Bones, who although is now married to a man has had loving relationships with women in the past. Here, Heather Hogan praises Bones creator's crafting of the character. There are also Myka and HG from Warehouse 13, although the creative team don't seem to want to admit it. Finally but not least, of course, there is Brittany from Glee whose sexuality I praised in my last post.

So, yes, had these characters been around 10 years ago, maybe I wouldn't have taken those three extra years coming to terms with my own sexuality. Who knows?

Big Brother (UK) bisexuality Bones buffy the vampire slayer Glee sexuality Warehouse 13

Coming to terms with my sexuality – twice

This post was inspired by a conversation I had last night with a Twitter friend who I started speaking to about Pretty Little Liars and Glee.

I ever so slightly illegally started going clubbing in my local gay scene.
I started going to Alpha because quite a few of the members of my family had died recently so I sought out meaning in life.

As it happened, the college's Christian Union invited speakers to the cafeteria one day. One question and answer stands out in my mind to this day:

Q: What does Christianity say about gay people?
A: There's only one cure to homosexuality and that's through Jesus Christ.

30 Days of TV bisexuality buffy the vampire slayer Glee Pretty Little Liars RIzzoli and Isles sexuality tv Warehouse 13

Day 21 – Favourite ship

I've been shipping since before I knew shipping was a thing. When I started watching Buffy I wanted for ages for Xander to wake up and see what was right in front of him - Willow. Well, that was until Oz turned up and swept her off her feet, and then it was Tara... Oh damn it, I must have just been a Willow shipper .

Anyway, my favourite ship (with steep competition from Emily and Maya in Pretty Little Liars, HG and Myka in Warehouse 13 and Rizzoli and Isles), if you hadn't guessed already, are these two lovely ladies:

Santana started off as Quinn's bitchy sidekick and Puck's one time girlfriend. Brittany was the ditzy blonde in the cheerios who was there for comic relief. However, from these humble beginnings Naya and Heather crafted much bigger roles for themselves. This was thanks to their antics in the background early in season 1. They spent most of their time sitting together, so to make a joke of this, the producers decided to throw in a line about the characters sleeping together in the middle of a conversation about Rachel knowing that Puck was the father of Quinn's yet to be born baby.

This was supposed to be a one off, a throwaway joke that was never to be touched upon again. However, from here the good ship Brittana set sail. Before this there had been suspicions that they were together with moments like this in their very first song together:

brittany santana glee I Say a Little Prayer

However, this was the first time the subtext between the two had become maintext. Thanks to the fans' reactions, the producers woke up to what had been in front of them for the whole time and Santana, after initially telling Britt that she was just with her because Puck was in prison at the time, finally admitted she loved her in one of the most touching moments of the second season [script and commentary taken from Christie Keith's recap of Sexy on AfterEllen]:

Santana approaches Brittany at her locker, and says, "Can we talk?"

"But we never do that," Brittany says.

"I know," Santana says, looking so soft and sad I barely know it's her. "But I wanted to thank you for singing that song with me in Glee Club."

"Yeah…"

"'Cause it made me do a lot of thinking. What I realized…" she takes a deep breath… "What I realized is why I'm such a bitch all the time. I'm a bitch because I'm angry. Because I have all of these feelings. Feelings for you, that I'm afraid of dealing with, because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences." A football player walks by, and Santana waits until he's past to go on. "And Brittany… I can't go to an Indigo Girls concert. I just can't."

"I understand that."

Santana looks at her. "Do you understand what I'm trying to say here?"

She reluctantly shakes her head. "Not really."

"I want to be with you. But I'm afraid of the talks and the looks. I mean, you know what happened to Kurt at this school."

Brittany looks surprised. "But honey, if anybody were to ever make fun of you, you would either kick their ass or slash them with your vicious, vicious words."

Santana starts to cry. "Yeah, I know, but I'm so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back. Still, I have to accept that I love you. I love you. And I don't want to be with Sam or Finn or any of those other guys. I just want you. Please say you love me back. Please."

Brittany is gazing at her, so moved. "Of course I love you, I do. And I would totally be with you if it weren't for Artie."

Santana is shocked. "Artie?"

"I love him, too. I don't want to hurt him. It's not right. I can't break up with him."

And now Santana is shocked and furious. "Of course you can. He's just a stupid boy." And so much is crystal clear now.

Brittany looks upset. "But it wouldn't be right. Santana, you have to know if Artie and I were to ever break up and I'm lucky enough that you're still single…"

Brittany tries to take Santana's hand, and Santana pulls it way, saying, "Don't."

Brittany goes on. "I am so yours. Proudly so."

"Yeah, wow," Santana hisses. "Whoever thought that being 'fluid' meant that you could be so stuck."

Brittany says, "I'm sorry," and reaches for Santana, who says, "Don't. Get off me," and walks off, leaving Brittany standing despondent in the hall.

Wow, just wow. I know how much I moaned about season 2 of Glee, but when it got it right it was amazing. It was heartbreaking stuff and it's also helped young girls coming to terms with their sexuality, so it's incredibly important.

On a personal note, I love this scene for its positive portrayal of bisexuality. Which, considering the source, is amazing. When Glee overtly tried to tackle the "bi" issue before, it did it so clumsily and was bordering on offensive. Here we have a girl [Britt] who openly admits she loves another but doesn't want to leave her existing relationship with a man to be with her because as far as she's concerned, Artie has done nothing to deserve [actually, he'd done plenty, but I'll be quiet]. Brittany is not a confused, greedy or predatory individual, she's simply a person who loves people regardless of their gender. If I had had this Glee episode when I was 16, maybe I wouldn't have spent 3 years denying I had any interest in men [more on this in another post]. So, yes, thank you so so much.

To conclude the post, I shall point you to a twitter friend of mine's Glee recaps as she does Brittana much more justice than I do and leave you with some wonderful, wonderful screencaps [credits in the titles]: