Society update

Society update

We have a place! We have a time! We have a plan!(Unfortunately, I will be an hour late to the first social get-together of the LGBT+ society, because I'm focusing lights on a theatre show, but apart from that...)I found a perfect place; it's open til t...
Society update

Society update

We have a place! We have a time! We have a plan!(Unfortunately, I will be an hour late to the first social get-together of the LGBT+ society, because I'm focusing lights on a theatre show, but apart from that...)I found a perfect place; it's open til t...
How to run an LGBT society

How to run an LGBT society

News: I am collaborating with a friend to start my university's first LGBT society.Question: ANY TIPS?? I feel a little worried I'm going to mess it up, so, dear blogosphere, help an ol' pal out. What can we do to make it not shit?I've not run an ...
How to run an LGBT society

How to run an LGBT society

News: I am collaborating with a friend to start my university's first LGBT society.Question: ANY TIPS?? I feel a little worried I'm going to mess it up, so, dear blogosphere, help an ol' pal out. What can we do to make it not shit?I've not run an ...
Guide to the Universe

Guide to the Universe

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/faith-cheltenham/how-to-come-out-as-bisexual_b_1856168.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009HuffPost Gay Voices has posted an extract from the book I REALLY REALLY WANT but for years never dared to ...
Guide to the Universe

Guide to the Universe

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/faith-cheltenham/how-to-come-out-as-bisexual_b_1856168.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009HuffPost Gay Voices has posted an extract from the book I REALLY REALLY WANT but for years never dared to ...
18 years of BiPhoria!

18 years of BiPhoria!

As published recently in Bi Community News under the headline "Manchester's 18".  A few reflections on the story of eighteen years of a local bi social & support group; it would have been more navel-gazing and reflective without the word limit on the article!


BiPhoria emerged, like so many bi groups, from Manchester bis meeting up at BiCon and getting talking, and deciding they wanted a bi group back home.  There were already bi groups in the city - one for men, one for women.  However it seems the penny dropped that meeting in separate groups when the uniting factor was that you were people for whom gender was less of an issue was a little peculiar.  At the very least there was room to get together as well.

The model used took organising ahead of each group meeting: every month’s meeting had a defined topic with workshops planned out for months ahead. That seems to have been the case with most other bi groups at the time.

The group started out meeting at Manchester's Lesbian & Gay Centre on Sidney Street. It was a good central location close to bus and train routes, and familiar to people attending the men’s or women’s bi groups.

The first few years were quite energetic, as seems to often be the case where a new bi group forms in an area with pent-up demand.  The monthly calendar had clubbing nights, cinema trips, a bi hill-walking group and more.  Among the spin-off projects was one to lobby the city council, whose equality policies and monitoring firmly declared everyone to be either gay or straight, and to challenge the “no bisexuals” door policies of several gay venues in the city in the 90s.

But after a time early impetus dies out, people find their lives are taking them elsewhere and in the odd case the realisation that you don’t get paid for running this puts people off too.  Planning meetings saw a diminishing pool of people willing to run the group. This was a crunch point - I wound up running the group and if I’d stepped away too there would have been no volunteer base left. 

Groups have momentum and this downward arc continued; for about six months we had typically 3 people a month to meetings, where the group would consist of me, someone who had last been to the group a year or two earlier asking “where is everyone?” and a new member who would never come back on the grounds that it clearly wasn’t the place to meet bi folk after all.  It is hard work summoning up the energy to go back again each month at times like that.  But the steady grind of small publicity work (flyers and posters) and luck of the draw meant eventually breaking out of the cycle - you get a month where four ‘occasional’ members and two or three new people means the mood in the room changes and things start to grow back up from there.

This slow build included bidding for the 2000 BiCon to come to the city.  For years BiCon had moved around the country from year to year without ever landing in Manchester. This turned into a bit of a joke - with Queer As Folk all over the TV, that Manchester was too busy partying the night away to host a BiCon.  The team were mostly not part of the group though: hosting BiCon 1998 had torn apart the Cambridge group, and Manchester wasn’t strong enough to face that kind of stress.
While all eyes were on BiCon there were changes afoot: the city's Lesbian & Gay Switchboard and gay men's sexual health project HGM were merging, and once again the dilapidated Sidney Street building was under threat of closure.  Most groups meeting at Sidney Street merged into this new Lesbian & Gay Foundation, but BiPhoria stayed at arm’s length, meeting in the new LGF building but remaining independent.

This meant finding funding: previously group costs were met by a quick whip-round at each meeting and room hire was free.  Now room hire cost £30 a time so some of the energy that would have gone into group work had to go into funding bids and accounting to these.  But that also meant a greater engagement with other LGBT groups in the city, and a slightly higher profile. 

That profile and more members getting involved again with organising aspects of the group’s work meant the tide was now flowing with the group; we had day-long events to mark Bi Visibility Day in 2001 and 2002, were drawn into the city’s Local Strategic Partnership work and in 2003 published a research report on bi needs in the city based on funded qualitative interviews.  The shape of group meetings changed, with a three-stage evening that starts with half an hour new members’ induction, 90 minutes of discussion normally without a pre-assigned subject, and then adjourning to a nearby quiet pub for chatter over drinks.

Another BiCon in 2004 was our last big blow-out, since when there have been small to mid size events each year - a BiFest or something to mark LGBT History Month - and things have balanced out with structured group meetings and pub / cafe meets.  We’ve had a consistent profile elsewhere too at local LGBT conferences and at Prides in our wider catchment area (which goes right up to Carlisle!) - something that can only happen with enough volunteers making time in their lives to do that outreach and visibility.  In the end the local council even admitted bisexuals exist.

And here we are 18 years on, inheriting along the way the mantle of the oldest bi group in the country as other groups from the early 90s have folded.  Join us to celebrate our 18th birthday downstairs at Taurus, 1 Canal St on September 1st (from 3pm).  Bring cake!
18 years of BiPhoria!

18 years of BiPhoria!

As published recently in Bi Community News under the headline "Manchester's 18".  A few reflections on the story of eighteen years of a local bi social & support group; it would have been more navel-gazing and reflective without the word limit on the article!


BiPhoria emerged, like so many bi groups, from Manchester bis meeting up at BiCon and getting talking, and deciding they wanted a bi group back home.  There were already bi groups in the city - one for men, one for women.  However it seems the penny dropped that meeting in separate groups when the uniting factor was that you were people for whom gender was less of an issue was a little peculiar.  At the very least there was room to get together as well.

The model used took organising ahead of each group meeting: every month’s meeting had a defined topic with workshops planned out for months ahead. That seems to have been the case with most other bi groups at the time.

The group started out meeting at Manchester's Lesbian & Gay Centre on Sidney Street. It was a good central location close to bus and train routes, and familiar to people attending the men’s or women’s bi groups.

The first few years were quite energetic, as seems to often be the case where a new bi group forms in an area with pent-up demand.  The monthly calendar had clubbing nights, cinema trips, a bi hill-walking group and more.  Among the spin-off projects was one to lobby the city council, whose equality policies and monitoring firmly declared everyone to be either gay or straight, and to challenge the “no bisexuals” door policies of several gay venues in the city in the 90s.

But after a time early impetus dies out, people find their lives are taking them elsewhere and in the odd case the realisation that you don’t get paid for running this puts people off too.  Planning meetings saw a diminishing pool of people willing to run the group. This was a crunch point - I wound up running the group and if I’d stepped away too there would have been no volunteer base left. 

Groups have momentum and this downward arc continued; for about six months we had typically 3 people a month to meetings, where the group would consist of me, someone who had last been to the group a year or two earlier asking “where is everyone?” and a new member who would never come back on the grounds that it clearly wasn’t the place to meet bi folk after all.  It is hard work summoning up the energy to go back again each month at times like that.  But the steady grind of small publicity work (flyers and posters) and luck of the draw meant eventually breaking out of the cycle - you get a month where four ‘occasional’ members and two or three new people means the mood in the room changes and things start to grow back up from there.

This slow build included bidding for the 2000 BiCon to come to the city.  For years BiCon had moved around the country from year to year without ever landing in Manchester. This turned into a bit of a joke - with Queer As Folk all over the TV, that Manchester was too busy partying the night away to host a BiCon.  The team were mostly not part of the group though: hosting BiCon 1998 had torn apart the Cambridge group, and Manchester wasn’t strong enough to face that kind of stress.
While all eyes were on BiCon there were changes afoot: the city's Lesbian & Gay Switchboard and gay men's sexual health project HGM were merging, and once again the dilapidated Sidney Street building was under threat of closure.  Most groups meeting at Sidney Street merged into this new Lesbian & Gay Foundation, but BiPhoria stayed at arm’s length, meeting in the new LGF building but remaining independent.

This meant finding funding: previously group costs were met by a quick whip-round at each meeting and room hire was free.  Now room hire cost £30 a time so some of the energy that would have gone into group work had to go into funding bids and accounting to these.  But that also meant a greater engagement with other LGBT groups in the city, and a slightly higher profile. 

That profile and more members getting involved again with organising aspects of the group’s work meant the tide was now flowing with the group; we had day-long events to mark Bi Visibility Day in 2001 and 2002, were drawn into the city’s Local Strategic Partnership work and in 2003 published a research report on bi needs in the city based on funded qualitative interviews.  The shape of group meetings changed, with a three-stage evening that starts with half an hour new members’ induction, 90 minutes of discussion normally without a pre-assigned subject, and then adjourning to a nearby quiet pub for chatter over drinks.

Another BiCon in 2004 was our last big blow-out, since when there have been small to mid size events each year - a BiFest or something to mark LGBT History Month - and things have balanced out with structured group meetings and pub / cafe meets.  We’ve had a consistent profile elsewhere too at local LGBT conferences and at Prides in our wider catchment area (which goes right up to Carlisle!) - something that can only happen with enough volunteers making time in their lives to do that outreach and visibility.  In the end the local council even admitted bisexuals exist.

And here we are 18 years on, inheriting along the way the mantle of the oldest bi group in the country as other groups from the early 90s have folded.  Join us to celebrate our 18th birthday downstairs at Taurus, 1 Canal St on September 1st (from 3pm).  Bring cake!
Doctor Who – ‘Just a phase’ is not just a phrase

Doctor Who – ‘Just a phase’ is not just a phrase


"First boy I ever fancied was called Rory...Actually she was called Nina. I was going through a phase. Just flirting to keep you cheerful."

^This is what we've got a problem with. This line.

My thoughts:

Whether Moffat meant to be flippant or not does not stop the line being harmful. The gag of calling Rory 'Nina' for the rest of the episode would have held if written differently without the 'phase' bit. It doesn't do us any good towards debunking the myth that all bisexuality is just a phase if a major show portrays the issue as such, and so casually, for a gag no less.

We're not in a place for it to be used comically yet, with bisexuality being misunderstood with lots of negative stereotypes by a wide portion of both straight and gay populations. We're not there yet, whilst bisexuals still have the highest rate of depression and suicide in LGB.

My dad is a liberal inclusive person who has no problem with non-heteronormative sexualities or genderqueer identities, but even he as a middle class straight white man felt obliged to tell me it was fine if it was just a phase when I came out to him as bisexual. He should not have felt he needed to say that, and it is because the culture still marries the two things together (bisexuality and going through a phase) that my own father made me cry by saying the one thing I was shit scared about my parents saying in response to finding out about my bisexuality, which he never intended to do; he was shocked and upset at my reaction, never having intended to be negative. We are fighting everyday ignorance like this.

I am no longer scared by that response, simply because I know it to be false with no shadow of a doubt - my bisexuality is not phase. But other young people, like I was before I was completely out, are growing up like I did, surrounded by this misconception that straight and gay people hold that bisexuals are just going through a phase and will end up on a 'side' at some point.

This is generally not the case, and the assumption that it is is damaging for people who are bi and uninformed except for these culturally accepted perceptions. It's not a surprise that lots of bi's get depressed and suicidal if their culture, supported by popular media, tells them that what they are feeling is not possible, or true, and is definitely going to change.

I assume Moffat was just trying to be funny, but he cannot go around using queerness in his writing without being properly informed on the impact of how he is writing it. Ignorance of the baggage behind 'just a phase' does not excuse him from the damage it does by perpetuating the misconception. It may not seem like a big deal to those who do not have to face a society telling them that what they identify as does not actually exist, but 'just a phase' is not just a phrase. It is a hurtful, harmful weapon that should not be tolerated in popular media until we're in a very different place culturally. In today's campaign for understanding and acceptance of bisexuality, it is the equivalent of 'it's unnatural' or 'it's perverted' was in late 20th century campaign for the understanding and acceptance for homosexuality.

Homosexuality was seen as a social problem that encouraged promiscuity, and now that has shifted to bisexuality. Homosexuality was seen as something that could be cured, and now bisexuality is also seen as something transient.

We are at the third stage of our battle for equality - first G, then L, now  B, and once bisexuality is as easily accepted as homosexuality, the T's will come to the fore. But for the moment, it is our turn. And Moffat is supporting the opposing side, even if it is unwittingly.

~
~

Further to my thoughts, here are some already articulate discussions of it that I recommend reading:
And here are some of my favourite quotes I've found around the web:

"It is a phrase with a shit ton of baggage and someone thinking they can get away with saying it on one of the most widely viewed shows (a family show nonetheless) in the world is rather disgusting."

"reinforcing about every parent's mindset that their gay/bi/pan child is just “going through a phase” isn't good."

"do you think it was added in so that bisexual young people could be reassured that what they’re feeling is legitimate and normal? Nope! It’s added in so that she has that saucy bit of forbidden naughtiness in her past that in no way affects her sexuality now."

"that kind of writing treats bi/pan-sexuality like a joke, like a funny little quip, like "oh look we're so progressive this character had a fling with someone of the same gender, they're so quirky and cool," and it trivialises something that is actually kind of a big deal for a lot of people."

"she says it to rory, to flirt with him. cause girl on girl is only a tool to turn guys on right?"
Doctor Who – ‘Just a phase’ is not just a phrase

Doctor Who – ‘Just a phase’ is not just a phrase


"First boy I ever fancied was called Rory...Actually she was called Nina. I was going through a phase. Just flirting to keep you cheerful."

^This is what we've got a problem with. This line.

My thoughts:

Whether Moffat meant to be flippant or not does not stop the line being harmful. The gag of calling Rory 'Nina' for the rest of the episode would have held if written differently without the 'phase' bit. It doesn't do us any good towards debunking the myth that all bisexuality is just a phase if a major show portrays the issue as such, and so casually, for a gag no less.

We're not in a place for it to be used comically yet, with bisexuality being misunderstood with lots of negative stereotypes by a wide portion of both straight and gay populations. We're not there yet, whilst bisexuals still have the highest rate of depression and suicide in LGB.

My dad is a liberal inclusive person who has no problem with non-heteronormative sexualities or genderqueer identities, but even he as a middle class straight white man felt obliged to tell me it was fine if it was just a phase when I came out to him as bisexual. He should not have felt he needed to say that, and it is because the culture still marries the two things together (bisexuality and going through a phase) that my own father made me cry by saying the one thing I was shit scared about my parents saying in response to finding out about my bisexuality, which he never intended to do; he was shocked and upset at my reaction, never having intended to be negative. We are fighting everyday ignorance like this.

I am no longer scared by that response, simply because I know it to be false with no shadow of a doubt - my bisexuality is not phase. But other young people, like I was before I was completely out, are growing up like I did, surrounded by this misconception that straight and gay people hold that bisexuals are just going through a phase and will end up on a 'side' at some point.

This is generally not the case, and the assumption that it is is damaging for people who are bi and uninformed except for these culturally accepted perceptions. It's not a surprise that lots of bi's get depressed and suicidal if their culture, supported by popular media, tells them that what they are feeling is not possible, or true, and is definitely going to change.

I assume Moffat was just trying to be funny, but he cannot go around using queerness in his writing without being properly informed on the impact of how he is writing it. Ignorance of the baggage behind 'just a phase' does not excuse him from the damage it does by perpetuating the misconception. It may not seem like a big deal to those who do not have to face a society telling them that what they identify as does not actually exist, but 'just a phase' is not just a phrase. It is a hurtful, harmful weapon that should not be tolerated in popular media until we're in a very different place culturally. In today's campaign for understanding and acceptance of bisexuality, it is the equivalent of 'it's unnatural' or 'it's perverted' was in late 20th century campaign for the understanding and acceptance for homosexuality.

Homosexuality was seen as a social problem that encouraged promiscuity, and now that has shifted to bisexuality. Homosexuality was seen as something that could be cured, and now bisexuality is also seen as something transient.

We are at the third stage of our battle for equality - first G, then L, now  B, and once bisexuality is as easily accepted as homosexuality, the T's will come to the fore. But for the moment, it is our turn. And Moffat is supporting the opposing side, even if it is unwittingly.

~
~

Further to my thoughts, here are some already articulate discussions of it that I recommend reading:
And here are some of my favourite quotes I've found around the web:

"It is a phrase with a shit ton of baggage and someone thinking they can get away with saying it on one of the most widely viewed shows (a family show nonetheless) in the world is rather disgusting."

"reinforcing about every parent's mindset that their gay/bi/pan child is just “going through a phase” isn't good."

"do you think it was added in so that bisexual young people could be reassured that what they’re feeling is legitimate and normal? Nope! It’s added in so that she has that saucy bit of forbidden naughtiness in her past that in no way affects her sexuality now."

"that kind of writing treats bi/pan-sexuality like a joke, like a funny little quip, like "oh look we're so progressive this character had a fling with someone of the same gender, they're so quirky and cool," and it trivialises something that is actually kind of a big deal for a lot of people."

"she says it to rory, to flirt with him. cause girl on girl is only a tool to turn guys on right?"