bisofcolour:

Saturday 25th June marks London LGBT Pride. It…

bisofcolour: Saturday 25th June marks London LGBT Pride. It…



bisofcolour:

Saturday 25th June marks London LGBT Pride. It also marks the Queer Trans and Intersex People of Colour picnic in Burgess Park, London.  So if you’ve had enough of pinkwashing of racism, colonialism, biphobia and transphobia in London’s Lesbian and Gay scenes, go to the picnic instead!  There will be no corporate sponsors pushing alcohol, no armed forces, and no facist hate groups.  In fact, this will be the polar opposite of what London LGBT Pride has become.  The hashtag for this picnic is #Notyourfuckingrainbow and that kinda says it all…

Visit the page at  https://www.evensi.uk/queer-picnic-2016-burgess-park/177570693 to see the map and to learn more.

See me walking down the streetBig hips, fleshy armsSee me smile,…

See me walking down the streetBig hips, fleshy armsSee me smile,…



See me walking down the street

Big hips, fleshy arms

See me smile, all toothy and bright

See my skin

See my fat


The little girl inside me laughs and claps
I skip over cracks
See my stride, watch my flow
See me strutting through this town
See me walking.  See my fat

A white boy catches the little girl’s eye
He’s nothing but a teen, but still he knows how
To spit, to scowl, point and laugh
See me falter
See my fat

I ain’t your mammy, shut your mouth
I ain’t your dancer, your exotic queen
I’m just a shadow when the lights burn bright

See her shrinking

See my fat

If my little girl disappears who will take her space

The space she takes just walking down the street?

How can any fat person ever make it out in one piece

When hard eyes make every step a feat?

This fat black soul is wounded as I speak

See my fat

And just let me be.

bisofcolour:

My invitation to meet the Prime Minister
I was…

bisofcolour: My invitation to meet the Prime Minister I was…



bisofcolour:

My invitation to meet the Prime Minister

I was invited to attend the LGBT reception with the UK Prime Minister, representing Bi’s of Colour.

It’s a short story: I chose not to go.

*Sisters Uncut http://www.sistersuncut.org battle daily to support women and girls who are victims/survivors of domestic violence.  The government has cut 32 women’s refuges. (I’m a survivor of domestic violence)


*Broken Rainbow, the only UK charity to support LGBT victims of domestic violence, have to constantly strive to secure funding from the government. (I’m a bisexual survivor of domestic violence - Broken Rainbow were invaluable to me)


*I am a former runaway and homeless person.  (I have been fortunate enough to have been housed,) but the number of homeless people in the UK has risen by huge amounts under the Conservative government.

*Disabled people have had their mobility aids, Carer rooms and independence payments taken away. (I am disabled, with a long-term chronic illness, and various mental health conditions)

*This event is probably being organised by the same person who let the hate group, UKIP, march at London Pride. (I used to be on the community advisory board of London Pride, until they screwed me over)

*Several members of Bi’s of Colour were very worried about how I would be treated if I attended the LGBT reception.

I would like to think I could influence the Prime Minister; tell him to not be such a shitty person, but I doubt I’d even be allowed to get close.  There will be other bisexual activists at the reception.  There will be other People of Colour there too, but there probably won’t be any bisexual people of colour present.  I have mixed feelings about that, but my strong feelings are all about how badly the government has treated people just like me.  I have limited energy, and am at risk of burning out, so I’m quite happy to give this event a miss, and use my spoons to support people like me instead.

Ten Things You Didnt Know (and Didn’t Care To Know) About Being Bisexual

Ten Things You Didnt Know (and Didn’t Care To Know) About Being Bisexual

Ten Things You Didnt Know (and Didn't Care To Know) About Being Bisexual:

wetwareproblem:

bisexual-community:

haveagaydayorg:

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Bisexuals

  1. Bisexual men are 50 percent more likely to live in poverty than gay men
  2. Bisexual women are more than twice as likely to live in poverty as lesbians
  3. Bisexual men and women are at least one-third less likely to disclose their sexual identity to their doctors than gays or lesbians
  4. In comparison with lesbians and gays, bisexuals have a higher lifetime prevalence of sexual victimization.
  5. Forty percent of LGBT people of color identify as bisexual
  6. Bisexual women are almost six times more likely than heterosexual women to have seriously considered suicide, and four times more likely than lesbians
  7. Bisexual men are almost seven times more likely than heterosexual men to have seriously considered suicide, and over four times more likely than gay men
  8. Bisexual employees are eight times as likely to be in the closet compared to lesbian and gay counterparts
  9. Fifty-five percent of bisexual employees are not out to anyone at work
  10. From 2008 to 2012, only $5,000 in grants were awarded to bi-specific projects or bisexual organizations.

[Sources: The Williams Institute, Bisexual Invisibility: Impacts and Recommendations, National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, Sexual Research and Social Policy]

we’re here, we’re queer and we’re a lot more valid in our anger than you’d like to admit

Read this list before you say that biphobia is just homophobia one more fucking time.

Three great African science fiction and fantasy writers at…

Three great African science fiction and fantasy writers at…



Three great African science fiction and fantasy writers at EasterCon 2016


MancuniCon - EasterCon 2016


EasterCon 2016 took place at the Hilton hotel Deansgate, Manchester.  It was my second time attending this event.  I was able to get a free membership through Con or Bust, but I didn’t receive any other financial assistance.  I was lucky though - Virgin had a train ticket sale, so I got really cheap travel to the event.  I was asked to be on a few panels - Poetry, Diversity in UK Science fiction and fantasy, and an interestingly named panel: Are we heading for a superhero crash?

I knew that I would be in the minority, as a black bisexual, nonbinary person at EasterCon, but I was determined to have a good time regardless.  This intent didn’t last long however, as I was subject to a lot of micro and macro aggressions throughout the four-day event.  There were some good parts: free books, interesting writing sessions, and meeting up with friends.  I was really pleased when I raised concerns over the timing of the Diversity session which had been placed last thing on a Sunday - the organisers moved it to Friday afternoon instead.  The session on maths explained by juggling was a blast, and the session on putting twists into your stories was enlightening.  Meeting three African Science Fiction writers was like a dream come true.   But unfortunately the bad parts of EasterCon made me wish I’d never gone, and that’s really sad.

The first negative thing happened in the Poetry session.  I read a poem I’d written about Game of Thrones, and the racism, misogyny and bigotry that made it difficult for me to watch.  Another poet, who said she only had a single poem to read, was very upset by my work.  She stated that she knew someone involved in Game of Thrones, who would be very angry if he had heard my poem.  I started to get worried: what if that guy was at EasterCon?  Would I be in physical danger because of what I’d written?  Sadly, the moderator seemed to take it as a joke - she even said the session was turning into a rap battle.  

The angry poet went to the toilet later in the session.  When she returned, she announced that she’d written a poem whilst away.  She proceeded to read her rebuttal to my poem, which likened my rejection of Game of Thrones, to being sexually assaulted.  I was absolutely gobsmacked by this.  The moderator looked ill at ease too but she didn’t intervene or do anything.  I wondered if a white person had written my work, would they have been subject to this?  Would they be afraid as I was?  I felt very upset by the whole thing, and even though I had two friends in the audience, I felt alone with the feelings.

The second negative thing at EasterCon happened after the Superhero Crash session.  I mentioned to the moderator that I had received a free membership from Con or Bust.  The moderator looked me up and down, and stated, “Yes, of course you’d have to.”  I was pretty taken aback by this.  She continued in a condescending tone, “I think we need to put conditions on the free memberships to Con or Bust, to ensure that new coloured people can attend.”  I was disgusted by her use of the term ‘coloured’ and appalled that she would wield her power in saying which people of colour could use Con or Bust’s service.  This was the moment when I promised myself to never come back to EasterCon.  It didn’t seem to matter how inclusive they tried to be, if there was no back-up to their intentions.  When I looked at the Code of Conduct, there was no acknowledgment of the bigotry and bad behaviour that could be inflicted: instead they used an example of someone being upset about meals at the hotel.  I didn’t want to talk to anyone in charge about what I’d experienced, because I thought they wouldn’t really listen - this wasn’t a random attendee saying horrible things to me, it was moderators and other panellists.  

Speaking of Moderators, many of the ones I saw at EasterCon seemed unprepared, ineffective, and on two occasions quite drunk.  Moderators hold a lot of power; but if they’re not briefed adequately, then it means nothing.

It has taken me a long time to write up this report; partly because I didn’t want to portray the event as negative.  But it was very negative for me.  I don’t want any other people of colour to be treated this poorly when they take part in SFF events, but time and again I see things like this happening, with very little change. Science fiction and fantasy is an escape for me, but EasterCon wasn’t an escape from the bigotry I experience almost daily.  Even though this event is run by volunteers, that doesn’t excuse this behaviour.  We all deserve better than this.

I wrote the poem below for MancuniCon, the U.K. Easter sci fi…

I wrote the poem below for MancuniCon, the U.K. Easter sci fi…



I wrote the poem below for MancuniCon, the U.K. Easter sci fi convention.  I sadly experienced a few racist incidents whilst at this event, as I do most places I go.  However, when I wrote this poem, I thought about how white science fiction and fantasy is in general, and how the possibility of people of colour inhabiting a fictional space makes so many defensive unless we are subservient to white folks.  The poem is inspired by my all time fave episode of any Star Trek series, Far Beyond the Stars, on Deep Space Nine.


Jake Sisko


I don’t want to be the only black soul in space

I don’t want to break through the atmosphere
I don’t wanna blast off to an unknown place
I want to stay right here

Cos if black folks board those rocket ships
Ain’t nothing new it gonna prove
Cos all they really want us for
Is to shine those white folks shoes

You may say a brave new world’s waiting
Where a man can truly be free
But this black soul be contemplating
This here world and the racist cruelty I’ve seen

Freedom don’t come beyond the stars
I won’t find it way up there
Freedom means stories of my own
Where black folks sit in the captain’s chair

And ain’t it sweet you imagine aliens
Being red and blue and green
But black folks in sci-fi are impossible
Too unbelievable to be seen

That’s why I choose to write what I do
Black fantasy is why I’m here
Far beyond the stars may look good to you
But son, I ain’t got the fare

TW: Mentions of sexual assault and street harrassmentA Poem:…

TW: Mentions of sexual assault and street harrassmentA Poem:…



TW: Mentions of sexual assault and street harrassment



A Poem: What was she wearing when she was raped and killed?

Hey, baby. Why aren’t you smiling?
Hey, baby. Can I walk you home?
Hey, baby. I’m just being friendly!
Fuck you, bitch. Hope you die alone.

Hey, sis. I know it’s late
What you mean, you’ve got a man?
I just wanna ask you out on a date.
See this type of bitch is the kind I can’t stand.

Hey, darling. Give me your number
Now let me check to see if it’s real
You’d be surprised at all the bitches trying to put one over
Fuck you, bitch. You ain’t got the body I wanna feel.

What do you mean, I can’t buy you a drink?
What do you mean, You won’t let me pay?
How else am I supposed to meet hot girls like you?
Fuck you, bitch. You’re too fat anyway.

You think you’re better than me, don’t you?
You think you’re smarter.  Think you’re wise
Fuck you, bitch.  I’ve gotta gun
Fuck you, bitch.  Take a look at my knife.
All they’ll ask is why you led me on.
Fuck you bitch. I got the law on my side.
Fuck you, bitch.  If you leave the car door unlocked
Don’t act surprised when men take it & drive.

Fuck that bitch.  She wouldn’t give me a chance
Fuck that bitch.  She wasn’t exactly a prize.
Fuck that bitch.  It was the heat of the moment.
Fuck you all.  It’s not my fault she died.

Loneliness and BisexualityImage Artist: Kinuko CraftThis is how…

Loneliness and BisexualityImage Artist: Kinuko CraftThis is how…



Loneliness and Bisexuality

Image Artist: Kinuko Craft

This is how the journey goes for me: loneliness, isolation and desperation.  It happens in that order, although it should never have to happen at all.  As a bisexual person of colour, my chances for socialising are not that high.  Racism, biphobia and misogynoir is an awfully powerful mixture to deal with.  I cannot separate myself into palatable pieces others find easier to digest.  I cannot and should not even be thinking of myself like that.  This is the first part of the journey.  I start to make compromises; hell we al do in some ways.  But for bisexual people, we compromise when we hide parts of ourselves - our sexual orientation from others just to feel closer,to feel accepted and less of a freak.  That trick may work for a while, but to have any kind of self respect means that sooner or later, it will become a stone in our mouth.  The truth will out, and even if it only comes out to ourselves, it will still feel like a betrayal.

I am a social person; as much as I need time alone, I still want to be with others.  Spending half my life with an immediate family whose numbers were more than twenty people, doesn’t make it easy for me to cook for one, to talk to no one, to always be alone.  Rejection is a thing I’ve known; from my abusive family, from lesbians and gays, and white bisexuals too.  Loneliness is a thing I’ve had to deal with for so long.  Loneliness isn’t just the absence of others, but for me, it’s the thing that leads to isolation and desperation.  Loneliness is me sitting in a gay bar and feeling like I have the word ‘Bisexual’ stamped on my forehead, as folks ignore me.  Loneliness is me having no reflection of my life when I look in the Voice newspaper, or Ebony and Essence magazine.

Isolation is a structural result of biphobia, racism and misogynoir in LGBT and straight communities.  It is a process that makes me actively alone.  Isolation silences and squashes my attempts to be a member of communities where I could belong.  Now don’t get me wrong - I give a lot of talks on bisexuality, mental health and racism.  I write a lot of blog posts, articles and pieces too.  But as soon as I switch off my computer, I disappear.  When I end my talk, I become an unwanted guest in someone else’s space.  Isolation gives more power to biphobia, racism and misogynoir that is directed at me constantly.  Isolation is LGBT events that are too expensive for me to ever afford to attend.  Isolation is having community events in pubs, when I sometimes cannot bear to be around alcohol or drunk people.  The feeling that I will be alone forever is what makes isolation so cruel; it takes away any vision of a future I may have dreamed of, and leaves nothing but silence in its wake.

Desperation is the cold side of the bed when my abusive ex-boyfriend finally left.  Desperation is the fact that I stayed with him so long, despite the fact that he said I was no better than a whore.  The loss of self respect; the journey I’d been on since loneliness became my partner, led me to that place.  There are worse things than being alone - I know that, but I am ashamed at what loneliness and isolation has made me do.  I’m not making excuses either.  I know that isolation is a tactic many abusive people use to separate their victims from possible sources of help and support.  But when I face so any types of oppression on a daily basis, I am often afraid to face the alternatives of an empty room, an empty bed and an empty life.

Another tactic abusive people use is to make you feel grateful for any crumbs of affection and attention they toss your way.  It is not easy for me to write this, but I have been there, scrabbling around on the floor, searching for anything to feed my starving heart, even when I knew there was a high probability it would only men a boot on my back.  Loneliness, isolation and desperation are weapons in the wrong hands.  There is no need for these states to be mis-used, but so often I find that they are.  When I exist as an already marginalised person, unwilling to be accepted by the communities I could be part of, I am at risk of being treated poorly.  The stone in my mouth; the silence in my home; the distance I have travelled on this journey, are all symptoms of how broken this society is.  This is the world where women are devalued, racism is excused, nonbinary  folks are ignored and bisexuals are never believed to even exist.  This is my world and I am a part of it, clinging to the edge of the flattened globe, trying not to tumble into the dark unknown as I make my way to something more.  Something better.