Trigger Warning: Mentions of self harm & suicide2015 was not…

Trigger Warning: Mentions of self harm & suicide2015 was not…



Trigger Warning: Mentions of self harm & suicide


2015 was not a good year for me. In 2015, I was lied to, gaslighted and let down by people I thought were friends.  I was given a new mental health diagnosis.  I self-harmed less, but was suicidal more.  

There were good parts in 2015: I helped to raise funds for Bi’s of Colour, I appeared at number 58 on the Independent on Sunday’s Rainbow List, and I stood up for my convictions by standing up against the White lesbian and gay PR machine.

2015 was the year when impossible things happened: a fascist hate group (UKIP) had their gay group as part of London LGBT Pride.  The head of London Pride appeared on the Politics Show laughing at how he managed to get the hate group safely in the parade (by pushing the African lesbian and gay immigration group out of the way).  This is the year that saw me resign from the Community Advisory Board of London Pride (They still haven’t refilled the Black member’s seat).

Other impossible things occurred: The bloody Conservatives got back into power, despite voters knowing how much damage they’ve already done.  We as a country decided the best way to help Syrian refugees was to bomb Syria.  Steven Universe became even better and queerer than ever.  But one of the happiest and most impossible things was being able to meet a bisexual musical icon I have loved since I was thirteen years old.  I met Tom Robinson at the Rainbow List Awards Vodka appreciation ceremony.  He gave me a massive hug, and didn’t mind at all when I threatened to cry on his shoulder with gratitude.

I sincerely hope that 2016 is better than this year, but if it isn’t, at least I’ll have the hug of a lifetime as something next year can never top.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of self harm & suicide2015 was not…

Trigger Warning: Mentions of self harm & suicide2015 was not…



Trigger Warning: Mentions of self harm & suicide


2015 was not a good year for me. In 2015, I was lied to, gaslighted and let down by people I thought were friends.  I was given a new mental health diagnosis.  I self-harmed less, but was suicidal more.  

There were good parts in 2015: I helped to raise funds for Bi’s of Colour, I appeared at number 58 on the Independent on Sunday’s Rainbow List, and I stood up for my convictions by standing up against the White lesbian and gay PR machine.

2015 was the year when impossible things happened: a fascist hate group (UKIP) had their gay group as part of London LGBT Pride.  The head of London Pride appeared on the Politics Show laughing at how he managed to get the hate group safely in the parade (by pushing the African lesbian and gay immigration group out of the way).  This is the year that saw me resign from the Community Advisory Board of London Pride (They still haven’t refilled the Black member’s seat).

Other impossible things occurred: The bloody Conservatives got back into power, despite voters knowing how much damage they’ve already done.  We as a country decided the best way to help Syrian refugees was to bomb Syria.  Steven Universe became even better and queerer than ever.  But one of the happiest and most impossible things was being able to meet a bisexual musical icon I have loved since I was thirteen years old.  I met Tom Robinson at the Rainbow List Awards Vodka appreciation ceremony.  He gave me a massive hug, and didn’t mind at all when I threatened to cry on his shoulder with gratitude.

I sincerely hope that 2016 is better than this year, but if it isn’t, at least I’ll have the hug of a lifetime as something next year can never top.

The next Bis of  Colour meetup will be on Saturday 14th…

The next Bis of  Colour meetup will be on Saturday 14th…





The next Bis of  Colour meetup will be on Saturday 14th November.  We have changed location this month.  We will be meeting up at the Southbank Centre, near the Clore Ballroom.  Nearest tube/train is Waterloo station.  http://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/

Same time: 1:00pm - 3:00pm
Different location!


I’ll be talking a bit about relaxation, meditation and mindfulness, and bringing some neat colouring books for grown ups with me!



My speech at Leeds Pride

My speech at Leeds Pride


I had the delight of being among the speakers on the main stage at Leeds Pride yesterday.  Here's  what I had to say to the crowd:

"Hello Leeds!  Are you having a good Pride?

​"​My first Pride was in London in 1993, and in those days it was called Lesbian and Gay Pride. I thought: I'm not a lesbian, I'm not gay, I'm bisexual and genderqueer, am I wanted and included in this?  I went along and hoped bisexual would be "gay enough". I didn't know it back then but Pride was invented by a bisexual woman, Brenda Howard, so if you're still in any doubt about the bisexuals being here - at this party, we're definitely on the guest list.

​"​I'm delighted to be here on behalf of Leeds Bi Group, which celebrates its first birthday this month having been formed at the national bisexual festival BiCon a year ago.  If you're bi and in or around Leeds join us at Mesmac, 7pm the second Wednesday of every month.  They say bisexuals want to have their cake and eat it, which is a strange slur, but if you want to bring us cake we're good with that.

"​Pride can be an exhilarating event, and I remember the tears I cried at my first one just being surrounded by so many other queer people for the first time.  But it's just one day.

​"The rest of the year there are groups all across the country like Leeds Bi Group making a space where it's OK to be bisexual - in a world that still wants us to fit a simple box of gay or straight.

"And we sadly need it. Half of gay and lesbian people think they can't be out about their sexuality at work.  Bi women are only half as likely as lesbians to feel they can be out at work.  For Bi men that falls to just one in eight.

"We may have nearly-equal marriage but in mental health, in experience of violence and more, we have so much still to do. Bisexual, transgender, lesbian or gay, we still die younger than our heterosexual cisgender friends, and that has to change.

​"But that's the fight for tomorrow and the rest of the year. Be proud and have a wonderful Pride today."
Stage 2* of the Bi’s of Colour History Project is…

Stage 2* of the Bi’s of Colour History Project is…



Stage 2* of the Bi’s of Colour History Project is underway.  I aim to interview bisexual people of colour on their lives and on the common themes that arose in the Bi’s of Colour survey report.  I also want to include photographs of the interviewees, alongside ephemera relating to bi/pan/fluid people of colour.

I am based in London, but I am able to travel to carry out interviews in the following places: Brighton, Manchester, Nottingham, Glasgow, Edinburgh, Bristol, Cardiff, Dublin and Belfast.  For interviewees outside of these cities, I can email a list of questions.  

This is where your help is needed.  I’ve set up a Go Fund Me page where you can donate for this campaign: http://www.gofundme.com/bochistory

Individuals: I know money is tight for all of us, but if you can donate even a small amount, it will help this campaign.

LGBTIQA organisations, you can help me to complete this work.  If you’ve read the Bi’s of Colour Report, you will know how vital this is.  Your assistance will be added to the Stage 3 exhibition/display.  You’ll get publicity for supporting a very marginalised group of people.  

Your donations will help to pay for travel, and to reimburse participants for their time.  I need to pay for photography and printing.  I cannot do this without your help.  There is currently nothing like this out there.  It doesn’t have to be like that.

If anyone wants to contact me to discuss how to get involved with this project, email me at bis.of.colour@gmail.com


*Stages

Stage 1: Bi’s of Colour survey and report

Stage 2: Oral history interviews

Stage 3: Travelling exhibition/display of Bi’s of Colour History

Stage 4: A published book of the project!

Open Letter to London LGBT Pride on UKIPs inclusionCN Lester and…

Open Letter to London LGBT Pride on UKIPs inclusionCN Lester and…



Open Letter to London LGBT Pride on UKIPs inclusion

CN Lester and I have drafted an open letter to the Board and Senior Team of Pride in London about their behaviour over UKIP’s inclusion.

If you’re interested in signing (as a group or organisation) or know of people who would be interested in signing, please let me know – you can email me at bis.of.colour@gmail.com or you can leave a comment on CN Lester’s Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/cnlestermusic



To the Board and Senior Team of Pride in London,

We, the undersigned, are writing to express our deep disappointment at Pride in London’s behaviour concerning the inclusion of UKIP in this year’s march, to wit:

UKIP was initially included in the march, despite having failed to sign up to the Pride in London charter. The signing of this charter was a prerequisite of entry – UKIP were the only political group to refuse to sign, but were still accepted as participants.


Pride in London failed to inform their Advisory Board of this decision. Crucially, they failed to consult with their BME representative before accepting UKIP’s application. Said representative was left to find out about UKIP’s inclusion from publicity materials and media coverage.


Pride in London then further refused to discuss UKIP’s inclusion with their BME representative, leading to said representative’s resignation.


After a broadly negative public response from the LGBTQI community to the announcement of UKIP’s inclusion, Pride in London publicly rescinded their acceptance of UKIP’s application. Pride in London assured other participants, and the broader community as a whole, that UKIP would not be allowed to march.


On the day of the march, Saturday June 27th, the UKIP contingent were ushered into the march itself as it was underway. This despite failing to pay the entrance fee, sign the charter, sign the agreement on good conduct, or be included in the parade route. It is important to note here that other groups and individuals who had failed to complete these steps were removed from the march by stewards and security officials.


The Chair of Pride in London, Michael Salter, consequently informed BBC Daily Politics that they had ‘managed to get them [UKIP] safely into the parade’ – confirming that UKIP’s inclusion was deliberate, rather than a last minute error. Mr. Salter expressed concern over the safety of UKIP supporters – but raised none of the concerns posed to him and the Board about the safety and well-being of other LGBTQI marchers threatened by UKIP’s inclusion. Mr. Salter went on to say that it was ‘great that they [UKIP] were able to participate’.
The board of Pride in London failed to respond to questions raised by the community over this backtracking. They have, after nearly three weeks of silence, produced a report that fails to answer the questions and concerns raised to them.

In providing UKIP members with special treatment (waiving of fees, waiving of conditions of entry) whilst assuring the broader LGBTQI community of their non-involvement, Pride in London have shown themselves to be incompetent, mendacious, or both. In particular, Pride in London’s treatment of their BME members and, more broadly, London’s LGBTQI people of colour, has been profoundly disrespectful. Instances of both overt and passive racism and Islamophobia from Pride in London’s board have been previously documented. This recent behaviour has confirmed the view of many in the community that Pride in London has failed in their duty to reflect and honour the multicultural nature of London’s LGBTQI population.

In their lack of respect shown to their own advisory committee, in their lack of respect shown to the broader LGBTQI community (including all other participants in this year’s Pride march and events), in their lack of transparency and failure to communicate honestly, the current Pride in London board shows itself not fit for purpose.

To represent London’s LGBTQI population accurately, the board of Pride in London must reflect the actual diversity of our community – and behave in accordance with its legal role as a community interest company.

We demand that changes be made: within the board, to the ways in which the board communicates, and with Pride in London’s accountability processes overall.

My Harmful Heteronormative Education

My Harmful Heteronormative Education

I was born the year before Section 28 was introduced, so with two exceptions, nothing LGBT+ was ever shown or mentioned by teachers at school. There was nothing in the syllabus either. Before I write about these two exceptions though, let me take you through a brief history of my education… In primary school nothing LGBT+ was ever mentioned. … Continue reading My Harmful Heteronormative Education
NO PLACE FOR FASCISM AT PRIDEUKiP aim to march at London LGBT…

NO PLACE FOR FASCISM AT PRIDEUKiP aim to march at London LGBT…



NO PLACE FOR FASCISM AT PRIDE


UKiP aim to march at London LGBT Pride.  For those not in the know, UKIP are a political party that wants the UK to have laws in place that would stop HIV+ people entering the country.  They want Christians to be able to discriminate against LGBT people.  They want Immigrants out, and whites in.  This party is incredibly poisonous.  However they have a LGBT group, and this group wants to join in pride, complete with UKIP banners and a sense of hatred.

London Pride has a history of being aimed at white gay men, with anyone else pretty much ignored.  UKIP marching at Pride isn’t just something that will affect People of Colour though; it affects everyone.  UKIP may not have a policy on LGBT people, but their councillors have said some very LGBT-phobic things in the past.  There is no place for them at this celebration.

On a personal note, I have recently taken over as the Black and Minority Ethnic persons rep on the Pride Community Advisory Board.  I wasn’t told that UKIP were marching on the parade.  It was only by accident that I found out about it. I feel that the officers of Pride have ignored non-white LGBT folks yet again.  But this time I am not going to be silent, and you don’t have to be either.


Send an email to http://prideinlondon.org/contacts/ and let them know what you think.

You can also sign the petition here: https://www.change.org/p/the-board-and-senior-team-pride-in-london-board-remove-ukip-from-london-pride-march-2015

It’s the start of the 2015 LGBT Pride season. Here’s a request…

It’s the start of the 2015 LGBT Pride season. Here’s a request…













It’s the start of the 2015 LGBT Pride season. Here’s a request from me to all of you who like to take photos of these events (especially if you’re a journalist).

Old people who are LGBTIQA belong at Pride

People of Colour who are LGBTIQA belong at Pride

Disabled people who are LGBTIQA belong at Pride

TAKE THEIR PHOTOS TOO!

Year after year, all I see are pics of white, cis gay men and lesbians, or white Drag Queens. Every bloody year!  We are out and proud and happy to be part of Pride. Please reflect that.  Pride shouldn’t just be pale and stale.

For a list of many UK LGBT Pride events, see http://prideinlondon.org/pride-uk-2015/