Give Bi Visibility Day a little plug?

Give Bi Visibility Day a little plug?

In a little over five weeks' time it will be Bi Visibility Day.   I made a little linky graphic for the BiMedia and Bi Community News websites to highlight Bi Visibility Day and act as a link image to take people to the hub webpage about what's ha...
Chasing Amy (1997)

Chasing Amy (1997)


I hadn’t seen Chasing Amy before, but I’ve been recommended it countless times, and it comes up in almost every search for bisexuality and film that I’ve done, so I felt like I’d better cover it. If I’m completely honest, it was probably Ben Affleck that was putting me off seeing the film for such a long time, but I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised. 



Director: Kevin Smith

Stars: Ben Affleck, Jason Lee, Joey Lauren Adams

Language:English

Length: 133min

Ratings: UK 18, USA 18 (I would imagine this is for swearing and descriptions of sex – there aren’t any graphic sex scenes in the movie)

Bisexual Characters:  Alyssa Jones

Description: Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck) is part of a successful comic book writing duo with his best friend Banky (Jason lee). His world is turned upside down when he meets Alyssa (Joey Lauren Adams), also a comic book writer who is his perfect woman in every way – except for the fact that she only dates women. The pair forms a close friendship, which eventually becomes a sexual relationship, and he is perfectly happy until Holden discovers a few things about Alyssa’s past which he doesn’t know how to handle.


Overall Thoughts

As I said, this film was a pleasant surprise. I’m aware that it is (loosely) part of a seriesby the director which includes Clerks, Mallrats and Dogma so there are in-jokes and aspects of that ‘universe’ crossing over into this movie – however, I hadn’t seen any of those films (I think I will now, though!) and it stood up by itself no problem. It might help to have a cursory knowledge of who Jay and Silent Bob are, though.

Though this film was funny and came from a very liberal attitude, I’d put a warning in there for homophobic language, which is fairly constant throughout the film. It’s grating at first, but I was so pleased to see that at one point a character actually challenges the use of these words, and actually throughout the movie ignorant and homophobic attitudes are consistently dealt with and subverted in a patient but firm manner. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie do that in a non-patronising way before, which was awesome.

Presentation of Bisexuality (spoilers)

My biggest fear coming into this film was (based on brief descriptions I’d read) that it would be about a straight guy who falls in love with a lesbian and manages to ‘turn’ her. Actually it was a lot more complicated than that, and a lot more thought provoking.

From a purely bisexual point of view, I have never related to any character in a film as much as I do Alyssa. She initially states (and demonstrates) that she is a lesbian, and is extremely confused/frustrated/hesitant about her feelings for Holden, because her attraction to him throws her whole world into upheaval. I think this is definitely something many bisexuals go through – I know that I personally identified as a lesbian when I was younger largely because I didn’t want to confuse anybody or cause confrontation by having to explain the entire ins and outs of my sexuality. I remember feeling embarrassed and almost ashamed about my attraction to the opposite sex at times, and it’s wonderful to see those feelings reflected here. I am completely in love with the explanation she gives for eventually allowing herself to be with Holden:

I'm not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instil in me from day one. The way the world is, how seldom it is that you meet that one person who just gets you - it's so rare… to cut oneself off from finding that person, to immediately halve your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender, that just seemed stupid to me. So I didn't. But then you came along. You, the one least likely. I mean, you were a guy.
And while I was falling for you I put a ceiling on that, because you were a guy. Until I remembered why I opened the door to women in the first place: to not limit the likelihood of finding that one person who'd compliment me so completely. So here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you. And I feel justified lying in your arms, 'cause I got here on my own terms, and I have no question there was some place I didn't look. And for me that makes all the difference.

Alyssa is a pretty cool chick all round; from a feminist angle, she is confident in her sexuality and refuses to apologise for her promiscuous past, even when her partner tries to make her feel guilty. She does make mistakes, she isn’t perfect, but she does everything on her own terms.




Perhaps because of the director’s previous work, Chasing Amy seems to have a mostly male, heterosexual audience, and the story is told from the perspective of a white, heterosexual man – the crux of the story being his inability to handle his girlfriend’s sexually adventurous past. This is definitely something faced by the bisexual community when they approach new relationships. Same sex partners may worry you will ‘turn back’, opposite sex partners may (in my experience) worry that they are not sexually exciting or fulfilling enough.

In Conclusion…

While this movie wasn’t at all PC or a perfect example of a sex positive movie, it was better than most, as well as being funny, warm, well written and well-acted.  

Favourite line:

Maybe you knew early on that your track was from point A to B, but unlike you I was not given a fucking map at birth, so I tried it all!
Vote Bi in the Gay Awards!

Vote Bi in the Gay Awards!

Please help give bisexual visibility a boost from your armchair by voting for me in this year's Homo Hero awards!

The shortlists for the annual awards have been revealed, and I'm delighted to have been shortlisted for LGB Role Model of the Year. It was all a bit of a surprise really, I knew one person had put in a nomination for me but didn't think it would go anywhere.


Why me?  Well, y'know, I've done a thing or three for the bis.  Editing a print magazine for over ten years, running a regular local social-support group for over fifteen years, organising networking and visibility at LGBT and mainstream conferences and prides, championing Bi Visibility Day, doing silly and sensible outreach and visibility work from Getting Bi to the Bisexual Recruitment Army. Being an out & proud genderqueer bi person in so many lesbian and gay focused LGBT meetings, giving neat binaries a little wobble with judicious use of the word "and" when confronted with too much of the word "either".

The Homo Hero awards are run by the Lesbian & Gay Foundation, which is the UK's largest LGB health charity, yet which doesn't have a B in its name. I'm amused at the idea of bi-ing the gay agenda of a "homo" awards do, so please help me.  It'll take a few clicks and an email address.

You can go and vote here at the Homo Heroes webpage. Role model is the third category down, where you'll find a lovely picture of me with my hair all blue and blonde.

21 people or organisations are nominated across 7 categories - you can vote for some or all of the categories, so you can just vote for me or vote in other sections too.  Two years ago there were three bi community activist nominees shortlisted - me, Natalya and Marcus - and one bi project, BCN, but last year none made the list.
Bi guy and a straight guy sit on a sofa

Bi guy and a straight guy sit on a sofa

I just uploaded a video response to one of my favourite Youtubers, RJ, a bi man in a same-sex relationship who does a daily vlog with his boyfriend Will, to show that two men can have a completely normal life together - they are amazing, and entertaini...
Is it worth it?

Is it worth it?

I promise this post is bisexuality-related, but let me lay out some context.On July 12th I finished my second year of my three year degree course in stage management. I went home, and spent a week working as the stage manager for a kid's holiday drama ...