Vote Bi in the Gay Awards!

Vote Bi in the Gay Awards!

Please help give bisexual visibility a boost from your armchair by voting for me in this year's Homo Hero awards!

The shortlists for the annual awards have been revealed, and I'm delighted to have been shortlisted for LGB Role Model of the Year. It was all a bit of a surprise really, I knew one person had put in a nomination for me but didn't think it would go anywhere.


Why me?  Well, y'know, I've done a thing or three for the bis.  Editing a print magazine for over ten years, running a regular local social-support group for over fifteen years, organising networking and visibility at LGBT and mainstream conferences and prides, championing Bi Visibility Day, doing silly and sensible outreach and visibility work from Getting Bi to the Bisexual Recruitment Army. Being an out & proud genderqueer bi person in so many lesbian and gay focused LGBT meetings, giving neat binaries a little wobble with judicious use of the word "and" when confronted with too much of the word "either".

The Homo Hero awards are run by the Lesbian & Gay Foundation, which is the UK's largest LGB health charity, yet which doesn't have a B in its name. I'm amused at the idea of bi-ing the gay agenda of a "homo" awards do, so please help me.  It'll take a few clicks and an email address.

You can go and vote here at the Homo Heroes webpage. Role model is the third category down, where you'll find a lovely picture of me with my hair all blue and blonde.

21 people or organisations are nominated across 7 categories - you can vote for some or all of the categories, so you can just vote for me or vote in other sections too.  Two years ago there were three bi community activist nominees shortlisted - me, Natalya and Marcus - and one bi project, BCN, but last year none made the list.
Bi guy and a straight guy sit on a sofa

Bi guy and a straight guy sit on a sofa

I just uploaded a video response to one of my favourite Youtubers, RJ, a bi man in a same-sex relationship who does a daily vlog with his boyfriend Will, to show that two men can have a completely normal life together - they are amazing, and entertaini...
Is it worth it?

Is it worth it?

I promise this post is bisexuality-related, but let me lay out some context.On July 12th I finished my second year of my three year degree course in stage management. I went home, and spent a week working as the stage manager for a kid's holiday drama ...
Is it worth it?

Is it worth it?

I promise this post is bisexuality-related, but let me lay out some context.On July 12th I finished my second year of my three year degree course in stage management. I went home, and spent a week working as the stage manager for a kid's holiday drama ...
The LGBT casebook and bisexuality

The LGBT casebook and bisexuality

I've just taken a look at the ebook version of The LGBT casebook edited by by Petros Levounis, Jack Drescher and Mary Barber (American Psychiatric Publishing, 2012). Contributors are medical doctors and this book looks to be aimed at psychiatrists rather than say counsellors though I think much of it would be relevant.

I tend to be wary of "LGBT" publications ignoring the "B". In this book there are a couple of case studies mentioning bisexuality and inclusive language seems to be used throughout. I also tend to be wary of how mental health professionals treat bisexuality. This book seems reasonable on that though perhaps I want more reassurance than they give.

One of the case studies is a woman having difficulty adjusting to having a baby. She identified as bisexual in high school then as lesbian when in a relationship with a female partner in college. She started to think of herself as someone attracted to both men and women. This was quite difficult for her, as she did not know anyone else who was bisexual and wondered whether she was a "freak" or "abnormal." The discussion continues: [Crespi L: Some thoughts on the role of mourning in the development of a positive lesbian identity, in Psychoanalytic Reappraisals of Sexual Identities. Edited by Domenici T, Lesser RC. London, Routledge, 1995, pp 19–32] aptly describes numerous issues that lesbians need to "mourn" while developing a positive lesbian identity, including heterosexual relationships, as many women in same-sex relationships have had heterosexual sexual experiences and relationships. Even if they come to identify themselves as lesbian, as Jamie has, they often have gone through a period of identifying as bisexual and imagining being in a stable relationship with a man. Jamie had not fully let go of this fantasy, and having a baby with Michelle clearly made the fantasy that much less of a real possibility. In therapy, she was able to recognize that some of the sadness she had been feeling represented emotions related to letting go of the fantasy of being with a man and having a baby with a male partner.
I'd be against imposing this interpretation on someone but recognise it could be true for some and not for others.

Another patient having problems relating to a partner:

"I dislike labels" he says and his presentation as a whole gets read as In seeking out a psychiatric consultation, Antonio had begun his coming out process; but his presentation was as someone frightened, ashamed, and insecure. Saying, "I would not say I am gay...let's say I am bisexual," can be considered, in his case, a defense mechanism to cope with anxiety, shame, and self contempt connected with "being gay" [Isay R: Being Homosexual: Gay Men and Their Development. New York, Farrar, Straus, & Giroux, 1989]

A short description of a woman: Because she felt her greatest emotional connection was with Marc, a man, yet her sexual yearnings were more towards woman, she did not know how to define herself. Was she "gay, straight, or bisexual?" leads to a conclusion The labels gay, lesbian, and bisexual are oversimplifications and may feel constraining. These same labels are, however, useful for finding community. which seems a correct response to a common problem to me.

Although women’s documented sexual fluidity may explain their greater participation and assumed interest in heterosexual encounters, they may also be exposed more than gay men to sexual invitations when dating.
This paragraph quotes: Baumeister RF: Gender differences in erotic plasticity: the female sex drive as socially flexible and responsive. Psychol Bull 126:247– 374, 2000; Diamond LM: Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire. Cambridge, MA, Harvard University Press, 2008 and Diamond LM: Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire. Cambridge, MA, Harvard University Press, 2008

and elsewhere in the book we have:

sexual fluidity, once thought to be the province of young women, is now reported among young men as well [Savin-Williams RC, Joyner K, Rieger G: Prevalence and stability of self-reported sexual orientation identity during young adulthood. Arch Sex Behav 41, 2012] and Rejecting narrow definitions of sexuality based on unidimensional, fixed precepts, a growing constituency of youth refuse labels, embrace notions of sexual fluidity, and characterize their sexuality as an interaction between their erotic preferences and their gender identity (e.g., a male-identified woman attracted to males who identifies as "gay male"). Self-definitions may be dynamic and unspecified (omnisexual, pansexual, heteroflexible), a conduit for amalgamating multiple identities (bi-lesbian, half-dyke, transboi), or rejection of sexual taxonomy altogether (unlabeled, undeclared, or simply "I love Rachael"). as well as negative reasons to avoid sexuality labels.

Shorter bi related quotes:
In some but not all cases, adopting a bisexual identity may serve as a transitional identity that precedes fully accepting a gay or lesbian identity. though they don't mention the converse.

more than 6% of men and nearly 20% of women claimed that they were not exclusively heterosexual. The implication is clear: Not all patients with same-sex sexuality necessarily identify as such, act on this, or disclose it to others, perhaps especially not to clinicians perceived to have narrowly defined values.
Do they mean same-sex sexuality to include bisexuality?

Bisexual individuals may take longer to reach this developmental milestone, perhaps because their sexual identity is somewhat more fluid over time. Often, their preference for sexual and romantic involvement with one sex solidifies with age [Rust PC: Bisexuality: the state of the union. Annu Rev Sex Res 13:180– 240, 2002]

Others consider their sexual fantasies— but not themselves— to be gay, or if they are willing to assume more personal responsibility, they may concede that they are "slightly" gay (read: bisexual). Amusingly arch perhaps but at what point do we get to agree or disagree with self-identity?

Bisexual men and women experience additional stressors that increase risk for depression, such as encountering bi-phobia from lesbians and gay men, and may have difficulty finding supportive bisexual communities. - How many times have I read that?

I've only skim read the book and being able to search for "bisexual" and "fluidity" does help spot what they have on bisexuality. It looks pretty good.

comment count unavailable comments
The LGBT casebook and bisexuality

The LGBT casebook and bisexuality

I've just taken a look at the ebook version of The LGBT casebook edited by by Petros Levounis, Jack Drescher and Mary Barber (American Psychiatric Publishing, 2012). Contributors are medical doctors and this book looks to be aimed at psychiatrists rather than say counsellors though I think much of it would be relevant.

I tend to be wary of "LGBT" publications ignoring the "B". In this book there are a couple of case studies mentioning bisexuality and inclusive language seems to be used throughout. I also tend to be wary of how mental health professionals treat bisexuality. This book seems reasonable on that though perhaps I want more reassurance than they give.

One of the case studies is a woman having difficulty adjusting to having a baby. She identified as bisexual in high school then as lesbian when in a relationship with a female partner in college. She started to think of herself as someone attracted to both men and women. This was quite difficult for her, as she did not know anyone else who was bisexual and wondered whether she was a "freak" or "abnormal." The discussion continues: [Crespi L: Some thoughts on the role of mourning in the development of a positive lesbian identity, in Psychoanalytic Reappraisals of Sexual Identities. Edited by Domenici T, Lesser RC. London, Routledge, 1995, pp 19–32] aptly describes numerous issues that lesbians need to "mourn" while developing a positive lesbian identity, including heterosexual relationships, as many women in same-sex relationships have had heterosexual sexual experiences and relationships. Even if they come to identify themselves as lesbian, as Jamie has, they often have gone through a period of identifying as bisexual and imagining being in a stable relationship with a man. Jamie had not fully let go of this fantasy, and having a baby with Michelle clearly made the fantasy that much less of a real possibility. In therapy, she was able to recognize that some of the sadness she had been feeling represented emotions related to letting go of the fantasy of being with a man and having a baby with a male partner.
I'd be against imposing this interpretation on someone but recognise it could be true for some and not for others.

Another patient having problems relating to a partner:

"I dislike labels" he says and his presentation as a whole gets read as In seeking out a psychiatric consultation, Antonio had begun his coming out process; but his presentation was as someone frightened, ashamed, and insecure. Saying, "I would not say I am gay...let's say I am bisexual," can be considered, in his case, a defense mechanism to cope with anxiety, shame, and self contempt connected with "being gay" [Isay R: Being Homosexual: Gay Men and Their Development. New York, Farrar, Straus, & Giroux, 1989]

A short description of a woman: Because she felt her greatest emotional connection was with Marc, a man, yet her sexual yearnings were more towards woman, she did not know how to define herself. Was she "gay, straight, or bisexual?" leads to a conclusion The labels gay, lesbian, and bisexual are oversimplifications and may feel constraining. These same labels are, however, useful for finding community. which seems a correct response to a common problem to me.

Although women’s documented sexual fluidity may explain their greater participation and assumed interest in heterosexual encounters, they may also be exposed more than gay men to sexual invitations when dating.
This paragraph quotes: Baumeister RF: Gender differences in erotic plasticity: the female sex drive as socially flexible and responsive. Psychol Bull 126:247– 374, 2000; Diamond LM: Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire. Cambridge, MA, Harvard University Press, 2008 and Diamond LM: Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire. Cambridge, MA, Harvard University Press, 2008

and elsewhere in the book we have:

sexual fluidity, once thought to be the province of young women, is now reported among young men as well [Savin-Williams RC, Joyner K, Rieger G: Prevalence and stability of self-reported sexual orientation identity during young adulthood. Arch Sex Behav 41, 2012] and Rejecting narrow definitions of sexuality based on unidimensional, fixed precepts, a growing constituency of youth refuse labels, embrace notions of sexual fluidity, and characterize their sexuality as an interaction between their erotic preferences and their gender identity (e.g., a male-identified woman attracted to males who identifies as "gay male"). Self-definitions may be dynamic and unspecified (omnisexual, pansexual, heteroflexible), a conduit for amalgamating multiple identities (bi-lesbian, half-dyke, transboi), or rejection of sexual taxonomy altogether (unlabeled, undeclared, or simply "I love Rachael"). as well as negative reasons to avoid sexuality labels.

Shorter bi related quotes:
In some but not all cases, adopting a bisexual identity may serve as a transitional identity that precedes fully accepting a gay or lesbian identity. though they don't mention the converse.

more than 6% of men and nearly 20% of women claimed that they were not exclusively heterosexual. The implication is clear: Not all patients with same-sex sexuality necessarily identify as such, act on this, or disclose it to others, perhaps especially not to clinicians perceived to have narrowly defined values.
Do they mean same-sex sexuality to include bisexuality?

Bisexual individuals may take longer to reach this developmental milestone, perhaps because their sexual identity is somewhat more fluid over time. Often, their preference for sexual and romantic involvement with one sex solidifies with age [Rust PC: Bisexuality: the state of the union. Annu Rev Sex Res 13:180– 240, 2002]

Others consider their sexual fantasies— but not themselves— to be gay, or if they are willing to assume more personal responsibility, they may concede that they are "slightly" gay (read: bisexual). Amusingly arch perhaps but at what point do we get to agree or disagree with self-identity?

Bisexual men and women experience additional stressors that increase risk for depression, such as encountering bi-phobia from lesbians and gay men, and may have difficulty finding supportive bisexual communities. - How many times have I read that?

I've only skim read the book and being able to search for "bisexual" and "fluidity" does help spot what they have on bisexuality. It looks pretty good.

comment count unavailable comments
SAME SEX MARRIAGE AND A PRINCE!

SAME SEX MARRIAGE AND A PRINCE!

So news these past few weeks has been full of stuff I like! The same sex marriage bill finally got passed, making it all the way to the final stage when it got signed off by the Queen on 17th July, good ol' Liz. Yes, I am a fan of monarchy, for all sor...
I had a wonderful time at Nottinghamshire Pride.  It was the…

I had a wonderful time at Nottinghamshire Pride.  It was the…


Kat Gupta, Maryam Bibi Din & El Dia, three of the four organisers of the Community stage.


Bi badges from Uncharted Worlds. http://www.uncharted-worlds.org/identitybadges/


Pagan Pride http://www.paganpride.org.uk/pagan-pride-2013/


My British Sign Language signer was a patient soul!


Love this badge!


Two presenters from Nottingham's Trent Sound radio station


Kat enjoying the music at Nottinghamshire Pride.

I had a wonderful time at Nottinghamshire Pride.  It was the first pride festival where I performed my work.  I read my Biphobia story and my Personal Ad hell poem (I was asked to do non-smut!) on the Community stage.  It was certainly daunting to look out at all the people having picnics on the grass as I read out loud.

This was only my second time at Nottinghamshire Pride.  I got totally lost in Nottingham, but some friendly goths helped me find my way.  I felt really welcomed the whole day, which was great.

I read my pieces in the afternoon, so I had a lot of time to enjoy all the other acts including a brililant dance troupe, soulful Single Bass, and some spoken word from Seattle’s El Dia, whose Dragon Lady tune blew me away.  Maryam Bibi Din did a mythbusting piece on Queer Muslims that would have made the entire day worth it.  There was just so much to enjoy!

Henry & June (1990)

Henry & June (1990)


So for my first review, I picked Henry & June– mostly because I hadn’t seen it before. I found it referenced on this list, and the IMDb description piqued my interest.

Henry & June
Vital Stats
Director:Philip Kaufman

Stars: Fred Ward, Uma Thurman, Maria de Medeiros, Kevin Spacey, Richard E. Grant.

Language:English

Length: 136min

Ratings: UK 18, USA NC-17 for scenes of a sexual nature.

Bisexual Characters:  Anaïs Nin, June Miller, Eduardo Sanchez.

Description:In bohemian 1930s Paris, writer Anaïs Nin (de Medeiros) is in a stable, but ultimately unfulfilling relationship with her husband Hugo Guiler (Richard E. Grant). When she meets struggling American writer Henry Miller (Fred ward), who is working on his infamous novel Tropic of Cancer, and his captivating wife June (Uma Thurman), she begins expanding her sexual horizons and creates a love triangle between the author and his wife.

Overall Thoughts

I really enjoyed this movie. If you’re getting a little tired of the 1920s pastel shade obsession brought on by The Great Gatsby this summer, then rich, dark 1930s sleaze might be the perfect antidote. It actually reminded me in tone of another movie set in Europe during this period; and one of my favourite movies about bisexuality – Cabaret. Visually the movie is striking and beautiful, with references to Brassaï, Dalí and surrealist cinema (perfect for an arts and culture geek like me). It is also incredibly erotic, with numerous heterosexual and lesbian sex scenes.  

While I thoroughly enjoyed the indulgence and the casting (Maria de Medeiros and Uma Thurman, later to work together again in Pulp Fiction are a stunning pair, with unusual faces enhanced by the gorgeous ‘30s makeup), at two and a half hours, this film is LONG, and some parts may be a little dull. I would recommend it if you were interested in either of the two writers (and really, if you aren’t, you ought to be!), or just interested in erotic cinema. 





Presentation of Bisexuality (spoilers)

June Miller is perhaps the most prominent bisexual character in the movie. She is a figure of obsession for her husband, Henry, and later Anaïs. She demonstrates extreme passion and sexual attraction for Henry, and yet also moved her girlfriend, Jean, into their New York apartment, and flirts heavily with Anaïs. This is a stereotype that is all too familiar for many bisexual/pansexual people – the assumption that because of your sexuality you are unable to be monogamous, or remain faithful to your partner; that bisexuality is some kind of ‘hyper’ sexuality. June is also portrayed as manipulative (she often uses her sexuality to get money from people), a drug addict, an alcoholic and mentally unstable.

I’ve done the vilest things, the foulest things, but I’ve done them superbly
- June

Anaïs Nin is here presented as bisexual, although in real life she claimed not to be. Her interest in women is generally limited to June, and her sexual awakening mostly involves men. This is another stereotype – I’m not sure how prevalent it is, but one I’ve been faced with. If you are in a same-sex relationship and bisexual (especially as a woman) it is often assumed that your main interest is the opposite sex, and you will ‘go back’ to men (for example). This is actually said out loud in the film at one point, when Anaïs confesses her love for June (though she has been sleeping with Henry), June responds:

You make love to whatever you need, you just want experience!

And for the most part, that seems true of Anaïs’ character.


Anais, Henry and June


In Conclusion…

I think this was a pretty good movie to kick off with. Bisexuality was definitely there, I didn’t have to search for it, and while it wasn’t the most positive portrayal (though to be fair, none of the characters are all that likeable) it was based on real characters (however loosely) with real flaws, so I could get on board with that.

Favourite line:

Beware, Anaïs, these abnormal pleasures kill the taste of normal ones.

Amen to that!