Bringing bisexual voices together
I’m not vegan but this post is. I have a food sensitivity to lactose (milk-based food) and I’m also diabetic. When my partner became vegetarian, it made sense to me for us both to be vegan, instead of cooking two seperate dishes at mealtimes. I’m no longer vegan, but the things I learned during that time have stayed with me. I have an appreciation of vegetables that I used to hate before; I grew to love tofu more than anything (except peanut butter). I also learned how to make the most of what I have in the cupboard instead of buying (often expensive) vegan substitutes. I still make homemade chocolate, nut milks, vegan chicken nuggets & ice cream, even though I stopped identifying as vegan years ago.
One of the things that made me stop being vegan was the HUGE RACISM I experienced in white vegan spaces. A good primer on this is here https://mediadiversified.org/2015/12/16/veganism-has-a-serious-race-problem/ Trigger Warning: disturbing image near the start.
Sadly, the few black vegans I encountered were for the most part deeply problematic too - often so Afrocentric that anything & anyone who didn't come straight from a Anhk-Right, Hotep conference was shunned. That included my black, british, bisexual backside.
It seems that (as per bloody usual) black vegans in the US have a more welcoming setup. http://www.blackvegansrock.com/blog/
So the main point of this post: I was on a hunt for some new recipes when I realised there are some WEIRD ASS people making vegan cooking vids online.
There’s the swearing Grandma https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=32oIb2B1WyA
The weird puppet guy https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ieyzHZdFmyg
The death metal chef https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bX3swY3r81c
So, yeah. If vegans could stop being so git-faced for a while, that would be great for everyone. And the planet.
P.S - DON’T BUY THE RACIST, THUG’S KITCHEN COOKBOOK
Touch-starved, but don’t touch me.
Trigger Warning: Sexual abuse
Consent means a lot to me; as a survivor of abuse and violence, there have been far too many times in my life when I was touched without my permission. Touching used to be the start - invasive fingers and sexual organs being forced on me often followed next. Abusive people look like ordinary folks, because they are. There are few abusers who look like monsters from horror stories - they are people who live next door, who stand beside you at the bus stop, and who live with you under the same roof.
I have had no voice in the past. Selective Mutism and fear of additional punishment usually meant I knew I could never say “No,” and even if I did try to stop them, my actions and my pleas were ignored.
I have a voice now. When an adult comes toward me with arms wide open, hands raised, my mind, fractured and scarred from twenty years of abuse, doesn’t think ‘hug’. My mind thinks ‘DANGER’. I am touch starved, but it doesn't mean I want people touching me without permission. I want to be asked, “Would you like a hug?” Or “May I hug you?” And I want my answer to be respected. For there is a small part of me - a frightened child who takes over when I am distressed. I freeze, my voice changes, and I get prepared to strike back. All of that changes if my consent is asked for first. Yet it seems impossible for many people to understand that.
Here in the U.K, people are usually quite reserved. But I’ve noticed that when it comes to those perceived as women, especially if black, we don’t get to have a say in how we are touched. We are presumed to be open and here for everyone’s use, but never for our own. This needs to change right now. So the next time you want to express affection or joy toward another person, ASK THEM FIRST. Consent isn’t just about sex. Consent before embracing, bear hugging or picking someone up and swinging them around with joy, may seem needlessly polite to you. But that’s the thing - it isn’t just about you. Consider the other person who may have emotional/mental/physical issues that make it a bad idea. Show you can be a good friend to them. Ask them first.
*screams*
Black people front & centre in a science fiction movie? I’ll have some of that!
This reaction vid https://youtu.be/QN-WCHacRgI is pretty much my reaction too. His best comment, “It’s like Africa in space!”
But seriously, representation matters! Whether in small everyday things or in big flashy stuff that everyone except you gets to fully enjoy. Sci-fi and fantasy has the tendency to be very, very white - whether the media or the fandom. It’s easy to feel alienated when I go to conventions and am the only black person in the room. The usual state of black people in scifi is like this: http://j-applebee.tumblr.com/post/141781152918/i-wrote-the-poem-below-for-mancunicon-the-uk
This trailer makes me happy. And it makes me especially happy that it features black people and it’s NOT IN AMERICA. I get thoroughly sick that if I ever see Black people in anything visual, it’s always in the U.S.
*screams some more*
I know why the caged bird sings by Maya Angelou
The caged bird sings with a fearful trill;
Of things unknown but are longed for still,
And her voice is heard on a far-off hill
For the caged bird sings of freedom.
I have loved this poem for a long time. As a fellow survivor of child abuse, I can connect with what Maya said in these words. I have many scars on my body as a result of the first 22 violent years of my life, and whenever I saw them I would remember the incident that caused it. I see tattoos as positive scars, and with the bird tattoo I’m especially happy as it’s the first colour tattoo I have. Sometimes I feel like I’m wasting my time as an activist - that I’m shouting into the void. But I shout for freedom - for disabled, survivors of abuse, the ageing, people of colour, and LGBT+ people to be treated better than they currently are. Freedom shouldn’t feel like an impossible dream to me. I hope this tattoo will remind me to keep going; keep on singing.
The tattoo was done by Tracy at Pride Tattoos, http://pridetattoos.webeden.co.uk
P.S - the snowflake above the bird was my first ever tattoo done in 2005.
There is no place for black (or yellow) face at Pride. Bi’s of Colour have always denounced this, and we we ALWAYS WILL!
There will be an informal Bi’s of Colour Meetup at Decolonise Fest on Saturday 3rd June at 2:00pm in the bar area. Jacq will be wearing their B’i sof Colour T-shirt, so should be easy to spot! Come and say hello, have a chat and hang out with other bisexuals of colour!
Structural issues with BiCon. Or why I’m not returning unless I see some changes.
BiCon is run by volunteers in the bisexual community. Every year the organisers change. If an organiser screws up, often nothing is done, cos they won’t be there next year (usually). Last year an organiser made paedophile jokes during the cabaret, mocked non-binary people & was generally inappropriate. Very little was done, even though lots of people complained & were in tears (including me) at the Paedophile thing. There’s nothing to guarantee the same won’t happen this year or the next, because they’re never held accountable. The same guy who caused the upset last year (breaking several BiCon Code of Conduct rules in the process) wasn’t thrown out of the Con. If an attendee had done that, they’d be told to leave immediately. It’s been almost a year since that incident, but I haven’t heard or seen anything on BiCon website apologising about it, or even mentioning it.
When I’ve brought up problems in the past, I’ve often been told “We’re just volunteers! We don’t get paid to do this!” This is a silencing tactic, which minimises the power that these volunteers have. It’s like saying, “Shut up and be grateful!”
Another issue is the constant lack of engagement with bisexuals of colour. The highest attendance (20+) we had was the year a donor gave BiCon funding to subsidise free places for People of Colour, disabled and working class. The next year there was nothing, and the attendance went down to about 5 bi’s of colour. Nobody on organising teams wants to look at the fact that bi’s of colour are more likely to be unemployed or on low wages - due to racism. If we can’t get subsides places, we simply can’t go. I’ve been saying this since 2008, and nobody seems to listen. At the same time, I keep getting asked how BiCon can become more accessible and diverse. This just feels like the minimum amount of lip service.
I’ve been a bisexual activist for years. BiCon has been the highlight of each of those years. BiCon needs to look at the structure of organising the event. BiCon Continuity could possibly include this in their remit too. Because until things change, and I feel safer attending, I’m not going back.
