BiBloggers

BiVisibility – love not hate

My love is like anyone else's love. Being a minority, we can be seen - and also see ourselves - as intrinsically different. That's not an unusual phenomenon, because everyone wants to be special. But we're asking the haters to realise that there truly ...

No means Bi?

When I’m using my tablet the spellcheck/autocomplete keeps on replacing the word “bi” with “no”! I was very confused at first and then I realised that on the QWERTY keyboard letters B and N and I and O are adjacent to each other. It’s very easy typo to make when you are using a touchscreen […]

bisexual

101 bi community things to have done

Courtesy of a double expresso: Some bisexuality project stuff from my head:

1. Baby BiCon: a look back at the younger people's Bi event, ask young bis if they would like something similar, if so, find a couple of youth workers to facilitate?

2. Bi youth: resource for youth workers / teachers etc?

3. Bi bus: touring bisexuals in a big bi bus visiting a town or village near you

4. The anon: whisper / secret / Experience Project etc. online and in sex spaces around the country bi people make themselves known anonymously. Who are they and what if anything would they like to have a happier life?

5. Discreet meetup: a lunch or after work meetup could allow people who don't want to be out to meet other bisexuals in a "normal" environment.

6. Bi music event: there are some excellent bi musicians and bands with bi followings. We could have a concert / gig / album

7. Connecting via music: We could have a radio programme / podcast of bi relevant music through the years

8. Bi books: the same thing, books important to bisexuals; meet at the library

9. Zines: so many bi zines and difficult to find older ones.

10. Bi TV / films: Film festival? Gaps for a new one?

11. Bi theatre: BiCon the Opera anyone?

12. Bi art of other types: sculpture? Paintings? Photography?

13. New bi book: already happening!

14. New music: any good bands out there doing bi relevant stuff?

15. New film / video: recording is cheap for basic stuff. Who writes screenplays or wants to get some facts across?

16. Where do we search, what do we find? Do we contact assorted "communities" of bis online? What do searches find?

17. Fundraising: let's do some?

18. International BiCon: It has been a while. How about organising mostly remotely? site? Travel funds?

19. EuroBiCon: Happening! Do we want a travel fund to get people from every European country?

20. Crossover: disability (people in both, being bi in disabled communities / scenarios, being disabled in bi spaces – access, prejudice)

21. Crossover: race / ethnicity

22. Crossover: Age

23. Crossover: Gender reassignment

24. Crossover: Marriage and civil partnership

25. Crossover: Pregnancy and maternity

26. Crossover: Class

27. Crossover: Religion and belief – for each and for none

28. Crossover: Gender - sexism in the world and in bi spaces

29. Crossover: Sexual orientation – biphobia, homophobia by and to us

30. Mapping privilege – where are we on the pyramids? How do we measure this? How to change?

31. Bi history – preserving and selecting from now, preserving older stuff, learning from and being entertained by it.

32. Science! What causes sexuality, fluidity, homophobia, biphobia – what do we know, what do we want to know?

33. Other crossovers? Where are we? BDSM, academia?, queer DIY? SF? Poly? Goth? Bears?

34. Stuff we do that isn't bi but we do a lot of: poly, some anti-oppression – transferable skills

35. Help? Helplines, centres, therapists, friends..

36. Language: words we use, changes, want, non-verbals

37. Languages: UK, Euro, world -‘terps and translators

38. Infrastructure: Good pop-up events with minimal admin?

39. Innovation: support and train and safety net the next set of ideas

40. Bi businesses?

41. Bi in the workplace – corporations, charities, civil service, voluntary, unions

42. Bi and mental health – disorders, experiences (I'm doing some of this one)

43. Looking in depth into worries about bi life

44. Looking in depth into dreams and utopias: what we want the world to be like

45. Longer term campaigning? What would we work on for years, decades?

46. Bi and queer and pan and omni – working out community connections / arguments

47. Bi academia – what are you doing? Informing whom?

48. What evidence base do we need? How do we justify our group needs?

49. Testing our assumptions: checking myths etc. of our own.

50. BiFests: thoughts and reflections

51. How do we measure how well our stuff goes? Cost / benefit?

52. Most annoying things in bi life? To fix.

53. Most happy things in bi life? To celebrate and do more of.

54. Mediation and group dynamics. How do we do conflict?

55. Professional help – what could we fund bis to do or buy in?

56. Diversity: What are we missing?

57. Why are we (individually) doing organising and participation?

58. Humour – where are good bi jokes?

59. Dating, sex, relationships: how to find others, make connections, navigate relationships

60. Bi Groups: could / should / do we want to / does anyone want to have more, fewer, different?

61. Not having martyrs – asking, passing on, dropping, pausing, 2nd level support for busy bisexuals

62. BCN: Been going a while. Thoughts and reflections?

63. BiCon: We already talk about this a lot.

64. Politics: Do we have space within community for political debate? Rules of engagement?

65. Lobbying: who and why?

66. Big Bi Fun Day: Reflections. Similar elsewhere too?

67. Online "community" – where and how do we want to keep in touch?

68. Prides

69. Students (working with NUS, local universities, internationals)

70. Schools – what do we want taught (formally and informally)

71. Threats (SWAT) and paranoia where threats are in fact mild

72. Mainstream, fashion, cool stuff and how we interact with it

73. Niche places: how we interact with non mainstream unfashionable and uncool

74. Books: are bi books on the shelves in homes, libraries and bookshelves

75. Journal of bisexuality: How is it? Much UK involvement?

76. BDSM bisexuals: been two, probably will be more. Thoughts and reflections and budded off projects

77. IDAHO(BBIT): International anti biphobia

78. ILGA

79. EU / UK initiatives

80. Diasporas and travellers and migrants

81. AIB etc. other bi orgs in other countries

82. Bi.org, bimedia, bicon websites control or contribute a lot too: refresh, keep, delete?

83. Bi Continuity: Our charity and company. Next steps?

84. UK regions: Belfast, Aberdeen, Exeter - where do we rarely if ever go in any organised fashion?

85. News – do we have any or any comments on it?

86. New media – bis on whatever the cool new thing is. Gaming say.

87. Stopping stuff: What do we want to stop doing or have others cease and desist?

88. Enemies / misguided friends: interventions and strategies

89. Our own place: Do we want something with a bit of permanence? A holiday home, a club, our own castle?

90. Our bi myths and traditions – amusements, cliques, history, desire for some?

91. Bi other things: biracial etc. picking up on themes from the first bi books

92. Visitors and connectors: shall we send a delegation? Should we invite excellent people to visit UK?

93. Good health – smoke, cars, fitness?, alcohol, other drugs

94. Being happy! Do it, show it

95. Outsiders and outcasts, what do we reject / hide? Scapegoating

96. Bi style, fashion, signifiers.

97. Being sold to advertise? Capitalism and the bi.

98. Being objectified? Exotic? Nice to be wanted but... How do we deal with?

99. Commercial sex: what do we do as sexworkers or clients?

100. Generations: parent, grandparent, mentor, elder roles? Needing more care. Death?

101. Celebrating bisexuality / noticing the bis day. Coming up soon. What about next year?

Perhaps I should chill out and stop doing this sort of list and thinking and just enjoy life?

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bisexual

101 bi community things to have done

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LGBT at a Christian festival

Outerspace is the LGBT organisation at the Greenbelt Festival, an annual festival that started as Christian music in 1974, and has turned into an ecumenical and interfaith celebration of arts, faith and justice. I went to Greenbelt for the first time l...

57 varieties Ageing Bi and over 50 Invisibility men

Bisexual and over 50 3: Brian

This is the third in the series of email interviews with bi people over 50. Thanks again to everyone who has shown interest in this project.

Each of the “interviews” is written by the individual concerned, with the questions in bold written by me.

***

I am BrianDriscoll, aged 59, married to a woman for 31 years and living in a medium-sized city in British Columbia, Canada. Retired from a career in journalism

What does being bisexual mean to you?

Being bisexual means (to me) being sexually attracted to, and enjoy being with, both men and women.

How did you come to think of yourself as bisexual?

At age 18, I realized I wanted to experience gay sex, even though I felt strongly attracted to females. I thought that meant I was gay and felt confused and disturbed about the situation. About a year later (this is 40 years ago), I heard the term bisexual and intuitively recognized that it described me.

Has your bisexuality changed over the years, and if so how?

Over the years I have heard that gay people follow a path from bi to gay, and wondered if that would apply to me as well. It hasn't really. I've remained bisexual though I lean more toward homosexual in terms of physical needs and straight in terms of emotional needs. I have never felt the need for an emotional relationship with a man.

What do people in your life know about your bisexuality and how do they react?

My wife has known I am bi for many years but most friends and acquaintances are only now learning about my bisexuality as I have come out recently on social media. The reactions have been muted, at best. Nothing really negative or positive. In fact, I've had no reaction from most people. That does not surprise me, though. If I learned on a friend's Facebook page that he was bisexual or gay, I may not have commented directly, either.

Looking back over your life so far, is there anything you wish you had done differently?

I came out late in life. I deeply wish I had done so twenty or thirty years ago. If I were twenty today, I would probably come out at that age. But then, today's situation is different from the 1970s.

What are your hopes and fears for the future, regarding bisexuality?

That difference between then and now makes me profoundly hopeful for young bisexuals. They can (and probably should) come out shortly after they come to accept their sexuality. Coming out early can make a great difference in their lives.

Would you like to help combat bi erasure and increase the visibility of bisexual people over 50? There are plenty of us out there, but far too many people don’t know that.

I am looking for other individuals over 50 who would like to contribute their “email interviews”, as Brian has done here. For more about what to do, look at this post.

Thanks.

bisexual

British Queer History book

Anyone read "British Queer History: New Approaches and Perspectives" by Brian Lewis?http://www.manchesteruniversitypress.co.uk/cgi-bin/indexer?product=9780719088940There being nothing for bisexuality in the index didn't fill me with hope. comments

bisexual

British Queer History book

Activism Assumptions bi caring family Poly Spoons

Real Life Gets in the Way

So a year ago, I decided I ought to have a blog. I did a bit of reading, looked at other people’s blogs and fussed for a while about exactly how I should set mine up. In the end the chose the name Heart Shaped Peg (because I’m much harder to fit into a standard […]

bi biphobia bisexual ethnicity lgbt pride queer race

For the complete strip, see…

For the complete strip, see http://empathizethis.com/stories/prejudice-pride/

I was interviewed by Empathize This ( http://empathizethis.com) a great website that creates comic strips based on social justice. I contacted them with an idea, and they encouraged me to tell of my experiences attending LGBT pride. They are very open to people sharing their stories, and were helpful through the whole process.

I wish biphobia at LGBT events didn’t happen, but they do at almost every single one I’ve been to. I felt so sad when I saw the image of myself crying at Brighton pride, after I was spat on; it’s one of the most horrible things to happen in a supposedly LGBT space. I remember how alone I felt when it happened. I also remember how that incident still makes me nervous at times. However, the final image of me hugging a bisexual heart makes me smile. I am happy to be bi. I’m happy that I can love others. I just wish lesbian and gay folks would be happy to leave me alone too.