Opinion: Bangladeshis React to Gay Pride
Posted inbangladesh english homophobia islam LGBTQ bangladesh opinion pride

Opinion: Bangladeshis React to Gay Pride


Apparently the next march should be bombed

Update (20th April 2014): According to the Gay Star News article here, they spoke to the organisers and this was not a Pride march but rather a rally to celebrate diversity and friendship with LGBT and allied participation. Personally I think this is a good stance and a very good first step. I'm leaving this and my other blog posts as they originally were, but including this note for clarity - the assumptions about it being a Pride march were mine based on news and social media reactions.

Every year on the 14th of April we celebrate Pahela Boishakh in Bangladesh. This year was no exception, except for the short rainbow themed rally that took place right after the main New Year's march. Bystanders may not have exactly understood the nature of the rally at the time, but people soon realised what it was given the later media reaction. Priyo.com published an article on the march, and people - just like the commenter above - have since been reacting on Facebook, Twitter and various blogs. A translation of the article can be read here.

I am very grateful to the people behind the rally as what they did was incredibly brave. I've always wanted Bangladesh to make advances with respect to LGBTQ rights, but I didn't think I would see such an event so soon. However, there is still quite a long path ahead of us in terms of acceptance if people's reactions are anything to go by. Below are a set of thematically arranged comments, most popular in terms of likes, that people have made in response to the aforementioned article on the rally. 

Names and pictures are blacked out, and I'm only describing the gist of each comment as opposed to doing word by word translations. Feel free to get in touch if you want an exact translation of anything below. 

Religion and Islam 


As a queer Muslim one gets used to hearing the story of Prophet Lut

The above comment talks about the story of Lut, and has had the most likes on the site so far. People often like to remind queer Muslims about how God destroyed an entire population for the sin of homosexuality. But what everyone seems to forget is that (1) the context of that story is male homosexual rape, (2) the people in question had committed a number of other sins and were ultimately destroyed for denying God. People also forget or probably don't even realise that the Quran affirms the existence of men who have no desire for women without any negative connotations and talks about accepting diversity. 


Who are we to judge?


I'm glad this comment got so many likes

The above is currently the comment with the second highest number of likes on the site, and hopefully in the future more people will think like this. The commenter asks who are we to judge whether this is good or bad, and why does it concern everyone so much. Picking out the Bengali parts of the comment, the commenter goes on to say that these men are are brave for standing up to the narrow minded people in our society.

The question of why does it bother others is the one that strikes me most. First of all, no LGBTQ person is going to really want to associate themselves closely with a homophobe. These people who should rest a little easier. My second issue, one that I see mirrored in other parts of the world, is what harm exactly do people think we're going to do to society? Living openly and loving our partners hardly seems like a precursor for the apocalypse.


শেষের প্রশ্নটা নিয়ে আসলেই আমাদের ভাবা উচিত - এত  মাথা ঘামানোর কি আছে?

The question here, "Why are you personally so hostile towards them?" is quite important for a number of reasons in my opinion. Why is everyone so concerned by us, and why do they turn our sexuality into such a big issue? Do they really think we'll want to associate ourselves with people who dislike us? And as ever, when the hate is so personal I always wonder if we're dealing with a closet case. 


Awami League is to blame for everything


It's a shame I have to translate this one, takes the punch out of the joke! 

The first commenter states the rally is our current PM Sheikh Hasina's fault. The second commenter suggests that some people like to blame the PM for everything, including a bad fart. 

The third commenter is worse - they blame the rally on Bangladesh's current digitalisation campaign. Fourth commenter asks exactly what relationship do digitalisation and homosexuality have, and not in a particularly nice way. A little humour is never a bad thing!


Again, I'm pleased that the positive comment got more likes 

However, despite some commenters' ignorance there is a general sense of displeasure with the government amongst some people. And for them everything they see as going wrong in the country currently is the government's fault. But whether Awami League actually support LGBTQ rights I don't know. I do know though that I would rather take my chances with them than the BNP-Jamaat-e-Islami alliance (read: the second part of that alliance consists of Islamic fundamentalists/terrorists).


Comparisons with animals, addiction, peadophilia and incest

   

We've seen these comparisons our whole lives 


Rehashing the same arguments over and over again can get quite tedious - and all of the misconceptions here I've heard before. The commenter talks about a number of things but I'm only going to address animals, paedophillia and incest. Feel free to get in touch to ask me why my sexuality isn't an addiction or why I'm not otherwise a criminal - as these are amongst the other comparisons made above.

The commenter starts of by addressing those who say homosexuality is natural as it is seen in animals. They ask whether we should really be imitating animals as animals live naked, kill their own offspring etc. I wonder if the commenter also wants humanity to give up other animalistic behaviours like sex and the search for a life mate? We happen to have quite a few biological similarities to animals, especially mammals. This is scientific fact. Homosexuality just so happens to be one of these similarities.

The comparison to paedophillia and incest follows swiftly on, with the commenter asking why should we tolerate homosexuality as it's similar to those two aforementioned evils. Paedophillia involves the rape of children, and the commenter seemingly fails to see how that can be compared to consensual sex between adults. I ask a similar question to the comparison to incest - how is it comparable to consensual sex between to non-related adults? And surely incest can be committed by people of any sexuality? 


Threats of violence


What can I say to these? 

This is an easy, mindless section. The first comment calls for people to throw shoes at the marchers, while the second asks why no one is beating "these things" up. People like the two above - and others who tend towards violence instead of reason as soon as they notice something they dislike - hold our country back. For the worldly effects of their way of thinking just look into the violence our political strikes descend into. 


Conclusion?

Most of the comments are negative, and honestly, I knew this was going to be the case. Besides the great collection above, there are a lot of negative comments with no likes that I haven't posted here. But interspersed within those are a few good comments, and then there are the few good comments with lots of likes. And it's these small pieces of positivity that give me hope.


মতামত: সমকামীদের প্রতি বাংলাদেশি মানুষের পতিক্রিয়া
Posted inbangla bangladesh homophobia islam LGBTQ bangladesh opinion pride

মতামত: সমকামীদের প্রতি বাংলাদেশি মানুষের পতিক্রিয়া


আমাদেরকে নাকি বোমা ফাটিয়ে মেরে ফেলা উচিত

উপডেট (২০ এপ্রিল ২০১৪)ঃ গে স্টার নিউজ নামে একটি ইংরেজি অনলাইন সাইট রিপোর্ট করছে যে এটা ঠিক 'গে প্রাইড প্যারেড' ছিল না। আর্টিকেলটি পড়তে পারবেন এখানে। রূপবান, জারা এ প্যারেডের জন্য দায়ী, তারা বলেছে যে এটা মানুষের মধ্যে যে বৈচিত্রতা ও বন্ধুত্ব হতে পারে সেটা তুলে ধরার জন্য আয়োজিত করা হয়েছিল। আমার মতে এটা তাও খুব ভালো একটা পদক্ষেপ, বিশেষ করে আমাদের দেশের কথা চিন্তা করলে। আমি আমার এই এবং অন্যান্য ব্লগ পোস্টগুলো পাল্টাছি না তবে এ নোটটা উপড়ে দিয়ে রাখছি ইনফর্মেশনের জন্য। এ প্যারেডটা যে 'প্রাইড প্যারেড' ছিল তা আমি ভেবেছিলাম শুধুমাত্র নিউজ ও সোশাল মিডিয়ার পতিক্রিয়া দেখে।

গত মঙ্গলবার ১৪ এপ্রিল আমরা ১৪২১ সালের পহেলা বৈশাখ উদজাপন করলাম, যেমন আমরা করি প্রতি বছর। কিন্তু এ বছর মঙ্গল শোভাযাত্রার পরে কিছু মানুষ রংধনুর রঙে রাঙানো ছোট্ট একটি মিছিল বের করেছিল। ঠিক ওই মুহুর্তে জনসাধারণ বুঝতে না পারলেও পরে সবাই ঠিক বুঝতে পারে যে এটা একটি 'সমকামী র‍্যালি' ছিল।এ নিয়ে priyo.com এ একটি লেখাও চাপা হয়েছে। এ লেখা, ফেসবুক, টুইটার ও বিভন্ন ব্লগে অনেক বাংলাদেশী মানুষের বিভিন্ন পতিক্রিয়া প্রকাশ হয়েছে - উপরের ছবির মানুষটির কমেন্টের মতন।

এই কারনেই যারা এ মিছিলের আয়োজন করেছে, তাতে অংশ গ্রহণ করেছে তাদের কাছে আমি কৃতজ্ঞ। এরখম একটা কাজ করা সাহসের ব্যাপার। আমার আশা ছিল যেয়ে আমার জীবনে দেশকে এ বিষয়ে অগ্রগতি করতে দেখে জাব। এতো তাড়াতাড়ি এরখম জিনিস দেখবো তা ভাবিনি। তবে সাধারণ মানুষের আমাদেরকে গ্রহণ করতে এখনো অনেক দিন বাকি। মানুষজনের কিছু প্রসঙ্গ অনুযায় বেশি 'লাইক' পাওয়া কমেন্ট আমি নিচে (নাম মুছে দিয়ে) ছাপছি - তারা আমাদেরকে নিয়ে কি ভাবে তা দেখানোর জন্যে, এবং তা নিয়ে কিছু কথা বলার জন্য। উপরের কমেন্টি ছাড়া সব কমেন্ট প্রথম পারাতে লিংক দিয়া আর্টিকেল থেকে। 


ধর্ম ও ইসলাম 


মসুলমান হিসেবে আমার হজরত লুতের গল্প অনেক শুনতে হয় 

এ কমেন্টটা এ পর্যন্ত সবচেয়ে বেশি লাইক পেয়েছে। কোরানএ হজরত লুতের কথা লেখা আছে, এবং অনেকেই আমাদের মনে করিয়ে দিতে পছন্দ করে কিভাবে পুরা এক জাতিকে ধংশ করে দেওয়া হয়েছিল সমকামিতার জন্য। কিন্তু সবাই একই সাথে ভুলে যায় যে (১) এখানে পুরুষদের সমকামী ধর্ষণ নিয়ে কথা হয়েছে আর (২) লুতের মানুষের আরো অনেক পাপ ছিল, এবং তাদের শেষ পর্যন্ত শাস্তি হয় এ সব পাপ গুলোর জন্য, এবং আল্লাহর কথা নিন্দা করার জন্য। মানুষ আরো ভুলে যায় যে কোরানের অন্য অংশে এমন লোকেরও কথা লেখা আছে যাদের মহিলাদের প্রতি কোনো আকর্ষণ নাই। এবং এখানে তো সুধু পুরুষদের নিয়ে কথা হচ্ছে - মহিলা সমকামীদের তাহলে কিভাবে এ সুরা দিয়ে অশিকার করা যায়?


আমরা এদের বিচার করার কে?


এ কমেন্টার যে এতো লাইক তা দেখে আমি খুশি!
প্রথম কমেন্টি খারাপ হোলেও দ্বিতীয় অবস্থানের কমেন্টি ভালো। ইনশাল্লাহ ভবিষ্যতে এরক্ষম কমেন্টি সবচেয়ে বেশি লাইক পাবে। আরেকটা কথা যেটা এই কমেন্টার তুলে ধরে হোল কেউ সমকামিদেরকে পছন্দ না করেলও ঘৃনা করার কি আছে - সমকামীরা তো আর ঠিক তার সাথে মিশতে আসবে না! এবং এসব মানুষরা ঠিক কি ভাবে - সমকামীরা কিভাবে সমাজের ক্ষতি করে?


শেষের প্রশ্নটা নিয়ে আসলেই আমাদের ভাবা উচিত - এত  মাথা ঘামানোর কি আছে?
"আপনি পার্সোনালি এতো হস্টাইল কেন ওদের উপর?" - এটা বেশ ভাল একটা প্রশ্ন। মানুষের আমাদের নিয়ে এতো মাথা বেথা কেন? সমকামীরা নিশ্চয় সুধু তাদের নিজেদের মধ্যে অথবা তাদেরকে যারা সাপোর্ট করে তাদের সাথে মিশতে যাবে। যেচে পরে নিশ্চয় সমকামিতা যারা অপছন্দ করে তাদের সাথে বন্ধুত্য করতে আহ্সবে না।


সব আওয়ামী লীগের দোষ


খিক! 
প্রথম এবং তৃতীয় কমেন্ট দুটো পুরোপুরি হাস্যকর, একটু মজার জন্য ছাপলাম!


কোন কমেন্টা বেশি লাইক পেয়েছে তাতে আমি একটু শান্তনা নিচ্ছি 

তবে এটা সত্যি যে এ মুহুর্তে অনেক মানুষ আওয়ামী লীগের উপর অসন্তুষ্ট ইলেকশনের কারণে। তাই বলে সব কিছু তাদের দোষ। তবে আওয়ামী লীগ আসলেই সমকামী অধিকারের পক্ষে নাকি তা আমার জানা নেই। সুধু এটুকু বলতে চাই: বিএনপি-জামাতের এটা কি চোখে দেখবে তা আমার মনে হয়না কারোর সন্দেহ থাকা উচিত।  



পশু ও 'শিশুকামীদের' সাথে তুলোনা

   

এ ধরনের তুলোনা আজীবন দেখে আসছি 

এখানে ঠিক কি বলার আছে? পশুদের সাথে তুলোনা করণ অনেকে বলে পশুরা সমকামী আচরণ দেখায়, এবং তার মানে নিশ্চয় সমকামিতা প্রাকৃতিক। পশুর সাথে আর কি মিল আছে আমাদের জানেন? আমাদের জীবন সাথী খোজা, যৌন প্রজননতা ইত্যাদি - পশুরা এগুলোও করে। আমাদের কি তাহোলে এসব বন্দ করে দেওয়া উচিত? 



কেউ বলতে যায়নি যে আমাদের নগ্ন থাকা উচিত বা সন্তান হত্যা করা উচিত। আমাদের যেয়ে স্তনপায়ী প্রাণীর সাথে কিছু জীবতত্ত্বিক মিল আছে তা বলেছে। এটা বৈজ্ঞানিক সত্য। এবং সমকামিতাও এই মিলগুলির মধ্যের একটা। এটাকে কেন ক্ষতিকর আচরণ ধরা হচ্ছে? এখানে ঠিক কার ক্ষতি হচ্ছে?



আর শিশুকামিতার সাথে কিভাবে তুলোনা হয়? শিশুকামিতা হয়ে দাড়ায় শিশুর ধর্ষণ। এদিকে একজন অ্যাডাল্ট মানুষ যদি আরেকজন অ্যাডাল্ট মানুষের সাথে সম্মিত ভাবে শরীরক সম্পর্কে জরায় সেখানে, আবারও, ক্ষতি কার হচ্ছে? 


এবং ধরে মারো

কি বলব জানি না 
এটার আবার বিশ্লেষণ করার কি। অনেকে এতই অসভ্য যেয়ে তাদের ইচ্ছা মত কিছু না হোলেই কাউকে মারপিট করা দরকার। আমাদের দেশের কি সাধেই এ অবস্থা? এদের জন্নে দেশে এতো খুন-খারাপি, এতো আমরা পিছিয়ে আছি। 
Manchester Council takes another step in recognising bisexuality
Posted inbcn bi biphobia biphoria legalise bi lgbt manchester city council researching bisexuality statistics

Manchester Council takes another step in recognising bisexuality

Until not so long ago Manchester City Council had the non-existence of bisexuals as a matter of policy. No, really: in service use monitoring, equal opportunities policies and suchlike, the official line was "at those times a bisexual is lesbian or gay they are covered by those policies and at those times they are heterosexual..."

Things are improving.

They've just published the annual Communities Of Interest report, which is a kind of "here is the evidence base" document on diversity concerns for the council and for voluntary and private sector organisations they work with. This has been published for many years now, and each time has a section on LG(B)(T).

This is the first time there's been a bi section. Previously we were a subset of lesbians, which, hmmm.

Full report here. Flick past the first 64 pages and you come to:
9.3 Bisexual community
Recent research carried out by BiPhoria in Manchester has suggested that being visible, being included and being acknowledged are some of the main issues for Manchester’s bisexual community. Bisexual people can often experience discrimination from both the gay and heterosexual communities, and at an LGBT Discussion Day event, hosted by the Council in 2011, BiPhoria found that people wanted bisexuality to be referenced explicitly in literature and wanted services to engage more with the bisexual community. This has been a key action for the group since 2011. Bisexual ‘invisibility’, along with bi-erasure and biphobia are recognised as the most common challenges for bisexual people.

Biphobia may be characterised as taking four key forms:
––Similar to homophobia
––Similar to heterophobia
––Structural or institutional biphobia
––Internalised biphobia absorbed from a culture of the first three.

Manchester has one of the highest profile bisexual communities in the UK and is home to BiPhoria, and the bisexual magazine Bi Community News. As with any other group that experiences oppression, bisexual people may also encounter additional prejudice due to intersectional marginalised identities, for example bi women, black bisexuals, or bisexual genderqueer people.

Stonewall’s 2009 report ‘Bisexual People In The Workplace’ reflected that the positive impact of LGBT Staff Networks on lesbian and gay employees does not extend to bisexual staff. Research published by the EU Fundamental Rights Agency in 2013 showed that bisexual staff are significantly less likely to feel they can be ‘out’ in the workplace than lesbians or gay men:

The Bisexuality Report (Open University, 2012) reflected that these challenges for many bisexual people also extend into areas such as crime and policing, where homophobic hate crime monitoring may fail to address and recognise bisexuals’ experience of biphobia and homophobia.

It's fun to see my "four flavours of biphobia" model, albeit in very condensed form, in a council document.  It's also a bit scary to think that I wrote it about twenty years ago, citing certain Manchester City Council services as examples of institutional and structural biphobia.

Though it is frustrating that there are no specific actions for the council and its partner organisations to take up, I hope this sets a good marker down illustrating some of the key issues for bis and the evidence base underpinning those on which to build in future years.
See It. Hear It. Report It. FA films help rid football of discrimination.
Posted inbi discrimination Equality & Inclusion football lgbt social inclusion Sport The FA

See It. Hear It. Report It. FA films help rid football of discrimination.

We all want to feel welcome and safe at football matches, whether we are on the pitch, in the dugout, or in the stands. Anti-LGBT discrimination, be it ‘banter’ between players and coaches or more blatant chanting from spectators can often lead to us feeling uncomfortable or even threatened. As an FA disciplinary chair and […]
Coming Out to…the Little Brother
Posted inagnosticism bisexuality coming out english family

Coming Out to…the Little Brother

My Thoughts



Growing up, I was always aware that my parents wanted me to respect certain Bangladeshi cultural boundaries. I had no interest in doing this, but I toed the party line nevertheless for fear of the consequences. Whenever I did do anything against their wishes, it was either done in a clandestine manner or accompanied by lots of cajoling and placating. My little brother, on the other hand, has always taken a different approach to the parents – pretending that he is completely unaware of their expectations, culturally or otherwise. This has let him go and do whatever he wants, and feign ignorance later to avoid the consequences.


Given the directions I have seen him take socially, culturally and religiously – he's liberal, practical and agnostic – I've never really thought that he'd have a problem with my bisexuality. I'd wondered if he'd find the gay sex part of it a little icky, but nothing more than that. I believed he was a product of his time – educated enough via contemporary narrative to know that there is nothing wrong, morally or medically, with same-sex attractions. Additionally, his agnosticism assured me that he wouldn't espouse any Islamic prejudice. My concerns had actually always skewed towards the more circumstantial side of the situation. He still lives with my parents, and back when I told him, he was going to be doing so for another 2 years before leaving. He was and still is preparing for university, which is hard work. On top of this, he has major ideological differences with the parents, and this makes his living situation even more stressful. I didn't want to add to his burden by telling him about my bisexuality and the issues it brought up. And of course, there was the tiny, tiny worry of what would happen if he did end up reacting negatively. My brother is one of the closest people to me in the world, so even the slightest possibility of rejection made me doubt myself.


However, I've become quite the expert at swallowing my doubts and ploughing on. During a winter holiday we were both spending with the best friend, I hinted at my desire to 'experiment' with a man in casual conversation. He's quite close to the best friend so I knew she could create a buffer if he reacted badly. His reaction was mostly bewilderment though, and I left it at that. The following summer holiday was when I next mentioned my bisexuality. I broached the subject of attractions with him while we were gaming in the den, but backtracked because of the concerns I voiced in the last paragraph. I told myself I was building him up to it, so I should see this as yet another small step in the right direction. But within a few hours I got annoyed at the dithering so I changed my mind, went into his room and told him. And that was it. There was a very minimal reaction. He said he wasn't surprised, that the hints had worked and he had no issue with it. The fact that the parents wouldn't take it too well was discussed. I informed him that I was slowly telling other friends and family at a pace comfortable to me, and hoped eventually to tell them too. He shrugged. I didn't mind - his support was always implied. Don't mistake his apparent apathy for an actual lack of empathy. He's probably the most pro-LGBTQ friend/family member I have created by the way of my coming out. I've discovered him challenging the prejudice of random people in various situations, more so than anyone else I've discussed my sexuality with. 

My coming out has made us closer, and now I can include him in all the aspects of my life. That positive energy has more than anything offset any burden my 'secret' would have left on him, and I am immensely lucky to have someone like him in my life.

His Thoughts


When my brother came out to me, the situation was as follows: I was in my room sitting on my bed, reading or looking at something, I can’t really remember. My brother comes and says, without further ceremony, “The person I’m going to be dating this summer is a guy.”  I look up with a bland face and say “I see.” A moment’s pause. “So you’re bisexual then?” to which my brother responds with a simple “Yup.”

I can’t imagine the scenario in any other way. I tend to take these emotional things with a degree of apathy that some might consider borderline offensive. It’s not malice, it’s just that sexuality to me has never been a big issue. To me, homosexual relationships aren’t wrong, weird, or unnatural, it’s just different. So what if a guy gets turned on by another guy? Or if he gets turned on by both men and women? What’s it to me? It doesn’t harm me, and don’t tell me it results in less children because the last thing the planet needs is more people – certainly not people that think we need even more babies, the wretched creatures. It results in people being happier, as they are able to enjoy a relationship with a person they truly want to be with. Life is hard as it is; let’s not make it harder by enforcing outdated social rules. There are enough fake couples in school.

I first suspected, or considered, as “suspected” implies different sexual orientations are crimes, that my brother was gay or at least partially fancied men by his acute ability to distinguish whether they were attractive or not. I couldn’t do it, not because I felt that trying to distinguish attractive men would make me gay, I simply couldn’t do it, yet my brother could, without fail. The second time I considered his sexual orientation was during a trip with his best friend. We were huddled in a room, eating cupcakes and talking about…I can’t remember, something to do with sex? It’s always to do with sex. Anyways, my brother announced that he’d like sleep with a guy, and that it’d something cool to try out, to which I responded “If you want to be bisexual, then you are bisexual! Haha!” but nothing never truly came of it. The last instance, for which I actually now feel bad, is when we were in the house’s den, playing PS3 maybe? He asked me “Hey, can I tell you something? It’s a big issue and I hope you won’t be weighed down by it.” I simply looked in his direction and mumbled something along the lines of “Um, it’s fine by me…”. It was at that moment my thoughts solidified regarding my brother’s sexuality and looking back, I was an insensitive little cunt for brushing it off the way I did.

Now however, I try to play a more active role regarding these issues. When I see the absolutely stupid reasons for which the LGBT community is oppressed, I cringe inside. I make it point to drive in the fact I fully support the LGBT community despite being straight; as to me it’s a slap in the face for those who try deem them as freaks.
Part of the family

Part of the family

I've just finished working on a show with people I have taken to calling our rainbow team ie. the core few people I've been working with within a bigger team are all queer in one way or another.And of course our sexualities didn't come up in conversati...